Confidence Game
In California on a business trip last month,
I met a mom with two kids
who'd graduated from business school in the late 1990s.
She'd been home with the kids for five years, she explained,
but was looking to go back.
I assumed she'd return to the field
she'd entered after business school.
"I want to go into something non-profit," she said instead.
Now, I firmly believe
that nonprofit careers are tremendously rewarding,
but my heart sank a bit from the ambivalence
etched on my new friend's face.
I suspected I knew what she was thinking.
Over the years, I've studied working and stay-at-home moms,
I've met dozens of successful
former lawyers and businesswomen
in a range of lucrative fields who lose their confidence
after staying home for a few years.
They assume they can't return to their original fields,
despite their successful track records.
They erroneously think going into teaching,
social work or nonprofit foundations will be easier.
More often than not,
these women use "I'm thinking of entering nonprofit"
as code for "I've lost confidence in my ability
to return to my profession
so my only choice is find a less competitive field."
The reality is they'd be better off staying in their original field.
Teaching and social work
require years of education and certification.
Due to naivety or arrogance,
some former businesspeople don't realize
high-level nonprofit posts are just as competitive
and sought after as top business jobs.
It's tougher than many women believe
to convince potential employers
that private sector achievements
are transferable to education and nonprofit arenas,
and why, suddenly in mid-life,
you heard a different calling
that you will take as seriously as your former career.
Many stay-at-homes would be better off
if they confronted the biggest hurdle
preventing women from returning to their chosen industries:
lack of confidence,
the most critical ingredient in any job hunt.
A recent New York Times article highlighted this reality
and business schools' growing success teaching confidence
by helping stay-at-home moms brush up on outdated skills.
"The biggest issue facing them
was not whether their skills were rusty;
rather, it was the confidence
that they had lost while not working,"
explained the Times article.
"You should never apologize for being out of the market."