Dear Annie: When I was in college, I was good friends with "Carrie." When Carrie met my boyfriend, she was rather intoxicated and said some hurtful things about him. Carrie went on and on about how she couldn't believe I would date a frat boy, that I was better than that, etc. Carrie apologized the next day. I married the boyfriend and still keep in touch with Carrie. But even after two years, I cannot shake what she said. I know her well enough to realize that while she was sorry, she meant every word. Carrie has asked to visit a couple of times, and I keep making excuses because it would be uncomfortable. I know her loose tongue was a result of the drinking and she did apologize, but I can't forget the incident. What should I say when she tells me she'd like to come and stay with us? — Confused Since College Dear Confused: Even if Carrie meant those words at the time, it doesn't mean she still feels that way. Before inviting Carrie to visit, have a frank discussion. Tell her you are still bothered by those comments about your husband and, because you value the friendship so highly, would like to clear the air. See what she says before checking her off your guest list.