Torn between respecting family's wishes and telling the truth

 

Dear Annie:

 

I am 22, engaged, working on a master's degree in child psychology and in a very uncomfortable situation. 

 

Two years ago, my fiancé's sister revealed to her family that "Grandpa Joe" had molested her as a child. After she told her parents, her mother shared that she, too, had been molested by the same man (her father). 

 

Both women have gone to counseling and are doing well. But they decided not to share this information with my fiancé's uncle, who has two daughters. They worry that his wife could potentially harm Grandpa Joe if she found out.

 

All of my education, training and intuition tell me these girls may have already been abused. However, if I say anything to their mother, I might destroy the good relationship I have with the family. 

 

How can I do what's right without causing a rift? － Not Family Yet

 

Dear Not Family:

 

It takes courage to report a family member to the police. Talk to your fiancé and ask him to speak to his mother and sister. Offer to go with him as someone with background in this area. Explain that if the other granddaughters have been abused, they need counseling, and if they have not been abused, they should be warned. Keeping quiet protects only Grandpa.