什么是自我？自我，是一种我们自己创造的身份，它由我们的信念组成，这些信念与我们对自己的认知有关。这包括了我们的人格，我们的天赋，我们的喜好。自我，把我们紧禁锢在自己的思想里，它让我们不断地评判自己，让我们远离当下的生活。自我，就是一种我们不断地向自己强调的身份。
Our stories are, however, just that. Stories. They do not make up who we are. Eckhart Tolle says, "the most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these are you."
而那些我们不断告诉自己的事情，就仅仅是一些事情而已，没什么大不了的。它们并不是我们的一部分。Eckhart Tolle说过，最常见的自我，跟人们拥有的东西有关，比如你的工作，社会地位，获得的认可，知识和教育背景，外貌，特殊的能力，人际关系，个人故事，家庭故事，信念体系，以及常见的民族主义，种族主义，宗教，以及其他的集体概念。
While the ego is an aspect of the human condition, it is not the true essence of who we are. When we operate from ego, we are generally obsessed with right and wrong, blame and shame. We are not acting from a loving place, but a judgmental place. We are not acting from a place of "how can I serve" or "how can I give". Rather, "what do I get", and "how do I look." Learning to identify the traits and behaviors of the ego, and then working to consciously make a different choice will drastically change your life.
自我是人的一部分，但它不是我们的本质。当我们遵从自我时，我们常常纠结对错和是非。我们并不是怀着爱意去做事，而是怀着审视的态度去做事。我们想的不是如何服务他人或者如何付出，而是自己能得到什么和自己看起来怎么样。学会分辨出自我的特点和行为，努力做出不一样的选择，这会极大地改变你的生活。
Here are 3 tips on managing your ego to create a more peaceful, loving Life! Number 1. Stop taking things personally. The ego loves to get offended. It loves to feel wounded and it thrives on pain and conflict. When we choose to be offended over things, we are actively choosing to allow the ego to take hold of our lives and create pain. In order to disassociate from this decision and make a different choice, we must recognize that love is our natural state. Humans actually want to connect and feel joy, not misery.
以下是三个建议，帮助你管理自我，创造更加平静的，充满爱的生活！第一，事情发生时，不要太往心里去。我们的自我很容易被冒犯，而且貌似它很喜欢这样。它常常觉得自己受到了伤害，而且，痛苦越多，冲突越多，它就越激动。当我们被一些事情冒犯时，我们就是选择了让自我控制我们的生活，制造更多痛苦。为了让我们不再做这样的选择，做出改变，我们必须明白，爱，是我们最自然的状态。实际上，人类都想和其他人建立联系，感受到快乐，而不是去感受痛苦。
If someone does or says something that makes you feel any negative emotion, you have two choices. You can react and engage in conflict, or you can recognize that the trigger within you is an opportunity for your own growth. You can choose to recognize that anything negative said or done from another, is likely a projection of their own ego. Don't waste your energy on ego battles. Save it for love and service.
如果有人说的话或者做的事让你感受到消极情绪，那么你有两种选择。你可以做出回应，与此人发生冲突。你也可以把这个情况视为自我成长的机会。你可以有自己的选择，清楚地认识到，一个人说的任何话，做的任何事，都折射出他的自我。不要把你的精力浪费在跟自我有关的斗争上，而是要把精力放在爱和付出上面。
Number 2. Forgive. The ego loves being right. It sustains itself in this way. The problem is it also keeps you from doing what you need to do to move closer to love and truth. The ego is sort of like a weed in this way. It may have pretty flowers for your inner garden, but if left unattended, it will choke out all of your other plants and leave you in a big mess. When you forgive, you allow your heart to open and you separate from the need to be "right" and instead choose love. This is functioning from your true self. Forgive others and forgive yourself too.
第二，学会原谅。自我很喜欢证明自己是对的，这样它才能生存下去。问题在于，同时它让你无法做自己需要做的事情，让你无法靠近爱，无法靠近真相。这样说来，自我就像棵杂草。它可能会在你的院子里开出花朵，但是，如果你不理会它，它会把你的其他植物都赶尽杀绝，留下满地狼藉。你选择原谅的时候，你让自己敞开心扉，你不在执着于证明自己是对的，而是选择去爱，这是才是最真实的你。原谅他人，放过自己。
Number 3. Let go and observe. Let go of trying to be right, trying to win, trying to be seen, trying to be heard. Instead, observe. The ego wants to prove itself and jump up and down to gain love and validation. Our higher self doesn't need validation. Our higher self knows that it is love. By becoming aware of the ego, and its need to be seen, heard and acknowledged, you open up space to be seen and heard without expectation.
第三，学会放下，学会观察。随它去吧，不要再执着于证明自己是对的，不要再执着于争强好胜，不要再执着于让别人注意到自己，而是要去观察。自我很想证明自己，用尽手段去得到爱和认可。更高层次的自己，不需要认可。更高层次的自己，它知道，自己本身就是爱的体现。通过认清自我，认清它那种对关注和认可的渴望，你就能自然而然地拥有别人的关注。
By observing without expectation, you then see things as they are. You see people as they are, rather than through a projected sense of lack, because they are not matching up to your ego's demands. In this space, there is also an opportunity to sit back and observe as to who or who is not functioning from a place where they can offer themselves up emotionally to give love, acceptance, adoration to you. This means we let go of controlling people in an attempt to have our needs met. This is freedom.
不带期望地观察，你就能看见事情的真实面目。这样，你就能看见最真实的人们，而不是让自己内心的缺憾投射到他人身上，因为他们没有满足你的自我的要求。这样，你就有机会置身事外，客观地观察，看看人们是否能够自愿为你服务，给你爱，接纳，和欣赏。这意味着，我们不再执着于控制他人，想让他人满足我们的需求。这就是自由。
Eckhart Tolle said, "the moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly no longer the ego but just an old-conditioned mind pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist." There is no denying that the ego serves its purpose. But when the ego becomes the dominant process of your mind, you fall out of alignment with your true self. With practice, you can learn how to manage your ego better, and create a life that feels more peaceful, loving and authentic.
Eckhart Tolle说，你认清自我的那一瞬间，自我就不再是自我，而是一种陈旧的思维模式，因为自我的存在意味着我们还没有觉醒，觉醒和自我是不能同时存在的。毫无疑问，自我有它的目的和理由，但是当它控制了你的思想的时候，你就不是真实的你了。慢慢练习，你就能学会如何更好地管理自我，创造更加平静，更充满爱意，更真实的生活。
As Gandhi said, "when the ego dies, the soul awakens." Let your ego die, a little more each day, so your own soul can awaken and grow. So, your freedom and joy can grow. So, your peace can come forward. Bless your life, by letting go of your ego.
正如甘地所言，自我死去，灵魂方可觉醒。让你的自我慢慢死去，这样，你的灵魂才能觉醒，才能成长。那样，你会拥有更多自由，快乐，和内心的平静。放下自我，让你的生活更美好。
