英文
Chapter 16
Their quarrel, destroying in some strange way the barrier between them, brought them closer together. Tom offered less resistance than she had expected when she mooted once more the question of the flat. It looked as though, after their reconciliation, having taken back her presents and consented to forget the loan,he had put aside his moral scruples. They had a lot of fun furnishing it. The chauffeur's wife kept it clean for him and cooked his breakfast. Julia had a key and would sometimes let herself in and sit by herself in the little sitting-room till he came back from his office. They supped together two or three times a week and danced, then drove back to the flat in a taxi. Julia enjoyed a happy autumn. The play they put on was a success. She felt alert and young. Roger was coming home at Christmas, but only for a fortnight, and was then going to Vienna. Julia expected him to monopolize Tom and she was determined not to mind. Youth naturally appealed to youth and she told herself that there was no reason for her to feel anxious if for a few days the two of them were so wrapped up in one another that Tom had no thought for her. She held him now. He was proud to be her lover, it gave him confidence in himself, and he was pleased to be on familiar terms with a large number of more or less distinguished persons whom after all he only knew through her. He was anxious now to join a good club and Julia was preparing the ground. Charles had never refused her anything, and with tact she was certain that she could wheedle him into proposing Tom for one of those to which he belonged. It was a new and delicious sensation for Tom to have money to spend; she encouraged him to be extravagant; she had a notion that he would get used to living in a certain way and then would realize that he could not do without her.
“Of course it can't last,” she told herself, “but when it comes to an end it will have been a wonderful experience for him. It'll really have made a man of him.”
But though she told herself that it could not last she did not see really why it shouldn't. As the years went by and he grew older there wouldn't be any particular difference between them. He would no longer be so very young in ten or fifteen years and she would be just the same age as she was now. They were very comfortable together. Men were creatures of habit; that gave women such a hold on them. She did not feel a day older than he, and she was convinced that the disparity in their ages had never even occurred to him. It was true that on this point she had once had a moment's disquietude. She was lying on his bed. He was standing at the dressing-table, in his shirt sleeves, brushing his hair. She was stark naked and she lay in the position of a Venus by Titian that she remembered to have seen in a country house at which she had stayed. She felt that she made really a lovely picture, and in complete awareness of the charming sight she offered, held the pose. She was happy and satisfied.
“This is romance,” she thought, and a light, quick smile hovered over her lips.
He caught sight of her in the mirror, turned round and without a word, twitched the sheet over her. Though she smiled at him affectionately, it gave her quitea turn. Was he afraid that she would catch cold, or was it that his English modesty was shocked at her nakedness? Or could it be that, his boyish lust satisfied, he was a trifle disgusted at the sight of her ageing body? When she got home she again took all her clothes off and examined herself in the looking-glass. She determined not to spare herself. She looked at her neck, there was no sign of age there, especially when she held her chin up; and her breasts were small and firm; they might have been a girl's. Her belly was flat, her hips were small, there was a very small roll of fat there, like a long sausage, but everyone had that, and anyhow Miss Phillips could have a go at it. No one could say that her legs weren't good, they were long and slim and comely; she passed her hands over her body, her skin was as soft as velvet and there wasn't a blemish on it. Of course there were a few wrinkles under her eyes, but you had to peer to see them; they said there was an operation now by which you could get rid of them, it might be worth while to inquire into that; it was lucky that her hair had retained its colour; however well hair was dyed, to dye hardened the face; hers remained a rich, deep brown. Her teeth were all right too.
“Prudishness, that's all it was.”
She had a moment's recollection of the Spaniard with the beard in the wagon-lit and she smiled roguishly at herself in the glass.
“No damned modesty about him.”
But all the same from that day on she took care to act up to Tom's standards of decency.
Julia's reputation was so good that she felt she need not hesitate to show herself with Tom in public places. It was a new experience for her to go to night-clubs, she enjoyed it, and though no one could have been better aware than she that she could go nowhere without being stared at, it never entered her head that such a change in her habits must excite comment. With twenty years of fidelity behind her, for of course she did not count the Spaniard, an accident that might happen to any woman, Julia was confident that no one would imagine for a moment that she was having an affair with a boy young enough to be her son. It never occurred to her that perhaps Tom was not always so discreet as he might have been. It never occurred to her that the look in her eyes when they danced together betrayed her. She looked upon her position as so privileged that it never occurred to her that people at last were beginning to gossip.
When this gossip reached the ears of Dolly de Vries she laughed. At Julia's request she had invited Tom to parties and once or twice had him down for a weekend in the country, but she had never paid any attention to him. He seemed a nice little thing, a useful escort for Julia when Michael was busy, but perfectly insignificant. He was one of those persons who everywhere pass unnoticed, and even after you had met him you could not remember what he was like. He was the extra man you invited to dinner to make an odd number even. Julia talked of him gaily as “me boy friend” or as “my young man”; she could hardly have been so cool about it, so open, if there were anything in it. Besides, Dolly knew very well that the only two men there had ever been in Julia's life were Michael and Charles Tamerley. But it was funny of Julia, after taking so much care of herself for years, suddenly to start going to night-clubs three or four times a week. Dolly had seen little of her of late and indeed had been somewhat piqued by her neglect. She had many friends in theatrical circles and she began to make enquiries. She did not at all like what she heard. She did not know what to think. One thing was evident, Julia couldn't know what was being said about her, and someone must tell her. Not she; she hadn't the courage. Even after all these years she was a little frightened of Julia. Julia was a very good-tempered woman, and though her language was often brusque it was hard to ruffle her; but there was something about her that prevented you from taking liberties with her; you had a feeling that if once you went too far you would regret it. But something must be done. Dolly turned the matter over in her mind for a fortnight, anxiously; she tried to put her own wounded feelings aside and look at it only from the point of view of Julia's career, and at last she came to the conclusion that Michael must speak to her. She had never liked Michael, but after all he was Julia's husband and it was her duty to tell him at least enough to make him put a stop to whatever was going on.
She rang Michael up and made an appointment with him at the theatre. Michael liked Dolly as little as she liked him, though for other reasons, and when he heard that she wanted to see him he swore. He was annoyed that he had never been able to induce her to sell out her shares in the management, and he resented whatever suggestions she made as an unwarrantable interference. But when she was shown in to his office he greeted her with cordiality. He kissed her on both cheeks.
“Sit down and make yourself comfy. Come to see that the old firm's still raking in dividends for you?”
Dolly de Vries was now a woman of sixty. She was very fat, and her face, with its large nose and heavy red lips, seemed larger than life. There was a slightly masculine touch in her black satin dress, but she wore a double string of pearls round her neck, a diamond brooch at her waist and another in her hat. Her short hair was dyed a rich copper. Her lips and her fingernails were bright red. Her voice was loud and deep, but when she got excited the words were apt to tumble over one another and a slight cockney accent revealed itself.
“Michael, I'm upset about Julia.”
Michael, always the perfect gentleman, slightly raised his eyebrows and compressed his thin lips. He was not prepared to discuss his wife even with Dolly.
“I think she's doing a great deal too much. I don't know what's come over her. All these parties she's going to now. These nightclubs and things. After all,she's not a young woman any more; she'll just wear herself out.”
“Oh, nonsense. She's as strong as a horse and she's in the best of health. She's looking younger than she has for years. You're not going to grudge her a bit of fun when her day's work is over. The part she's playing just now doesn't take it out of her; I'm very glad that she should want to go out and amuse herself. It only shows how much vitality she has.”
“She never cared for that sort of thing before. It seems so strange that she should suddenly take to dancing till two in the morning in the horrible atmosphere of those places.”
“It's the only exercise she gets. I can't expect her to put on shorts and come for a run with me in the park.”
“I think you ought to know that people are beginning to talk. It's doing her reputation a lot of harm.”
“What the devil d'you mean by that?”
“Well, it's absurd that at her age she should make herself so conspicuous with a young boy.”
He looked at her for a moment without understanding, and when he caught what she meant he laughed loud.
“Tom? Don't be such a fool, Dolly.”
“I'm not a fool. I know what I'm talking about. When anyone's as well known as Julia and she's always about with the same man naturally people talk.”
“But Tom's just as much my friend as hers. You know very well that I can't take Julia out dancing. I have to get up every morning at eight to get my exercise in before my day's work. Hang it all, I do know something about human nature after thirty years on the stage. Tom's a very good type of clean, honest English boy and he's by way of being a gentleman. I daresay he admires Julia, boys of that age often think they're in love with women older than themselves, well, it won't do him any harm, it'll do him good; but to think Julia could possibly give him a thought—my poor Dolly, you make me laugh.”
“He's boring, he's dull, he's common and he's a snob.”
“Well, if you think he's all that doesn't it strike you as rather strange that Julia should be so wrapped up in him as you seem to think?”
“Only a woman knows what a woman can do.”
“That's not a bad line, Dolly. We shall have you writing a play next. Now let's get this straight. Can you look me in the face and tell me that you really think Julia is having an affair with Tom?”
She looked him in the face. Her eyes were anguished. For though at first she had only laughed at what was being said about Julia she had not been able altogether to suppress the doubts that soon assailed her; she remembered a dozen little incidents that at the time had escaped her notice, but when considered in cold blood looked terribly suspicious. She had suffered such torture as she had never thought it possible to endure. Proof? She had no proof; she only had an intuition that she could not mistrust; she wanted to say yes, the impulse to do so was almost uncontrollable; she controlled it. She could not give Julia away. The fool might go and tell her and Julia would never speak to her again. He might have Julia watched and catch her out. No one could tell what might happen if she told the truth.
“No, I don't.”
Her eyes filled with tears and began to roll down her massive cheeks. Michael saw her misery. He thought her ridiculous, but he realized that she was suffering and in the kindness of his heart sought to console her.
“I was sure you didn't really. You know how fond Julia is of you, you mustn't be jealous, you know, if she has other friends.”
“God knows I don't grudge her anything,” she sobbed. “She's been so different to me lately. She's been so cold. I've been such a loyal friend to her, Michael.”
“Yes, dear, I know you have.”
“Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my King…”
“Oh, come now, it's not so bad as that. You know, I'm not the sort of chap to talk about his wife to other people. I always think that's such frightfully bad form. But you know, honestly you don't know the first thing about Julia. Sex doesn't mean a thing to her. When we were first married it was different, and I don't mind telling you after all these years that she made life a bit difficult for me. I don't say she was a nymphomaniac or anything like that, but she was inclined to be rather tiresome sometimes. Bed's all very well in its way, but there are other things in life. But after Roger was born she changed completely. Having a baby settled her. All those instincts went into her acting. You've read Freud, Dolly; what does he call it when that happens?”
“Oh, Michael, what do I care about Freud?”
“Sublimation. That's it. I often think that's what's made her such a great actress. Acting's a whole-time job, and if you want to be really good you've got to give your whole self to it. I'm so impatient with the public who think actors and actresses lead a devil of a life. We haven't got the time for that sort of nonsense.”
What Michael was saying made her so angry that she recovered her self-control.
“But Michael, it may be that you and I know that there's nothing wrong in Julia's going about all the time with that miserable little pip-squeak. It's so bad for her reputation. After all, one of your great assets has been your exemplary married life. Everyone has looked up to you. The public has loved to think of you as such a devoted and united couple.”
“And so we are, damn it.”
Dolly was growing impatient.
“But I tell you people are talking. You can't be so stupid as not to see that they're bound to. I mean, if Julia had had one flagrant affair after another, nobody would take any notice, but after the life she's led for so many years suddenly to break out like this— naturally everybody starts chattering. It's so bad for business.”
Michael gave her a swift glance. He smiled a little.
“I see what you mean, Dolly. I daresay there's something in what you say and in the circumstances I feel that you have a perfect right to say it. You were awfully good to us when we started and I should hate to see you let down now. I'll tell you what, I'll buy you out.”
“Buy me out?”
Dolly straightened herself and her face, a moment ago rumpled and discomposed, hardened. She was seized with indignation. He went on suavely.
“I see your point. If Julia's gadding about all night it must tell on her performances. That's obvious. She's got a funny sort of public, a lot of old ladies come to our matinées because they think she's such a sweet good woman. I don't mind admitting that if she gets herself unpleasantly talked about it might have some effect on the takings. I know Julia well enough to know that she wouldn't put up with any interference with her liberty of action. I'm her husband and I've got to put up with it. But you're in a different position altogether. I shouldn't blame you if you wanted to get out while the going was good.”
Dolly was alert now. She was far from a fool and when it came to business was a match for Michael. She was angry, but her anger gave her self-control.
“I should have thought after all these years, Michael, that you knew me better than that. I thought it my duty to warn you, but I'm prepared to take the rough with the smooth. I'm not the woman to desert a sinking ship. I daresay I can afford to lose my money better than you can.”
It gave her a great deal of satisfaction to see the disappointment that was clearly expressed on Michael's face. She knew how much money meant to him and she had a hope that what she had said would rankle. He pulled himself together quickly.
“Well, think it over, Dolly.”
She gathered up her bag and they parted with mutual expressions of affection and good will.
“Silly old bitch,” he said when the door was closed behind her.
“Pompous old ass,” she hissed as she went down in the lift.
But when she got into her magnificent and very expensive car and drove back to Montagu Square she could not hold back the heavy, painful tears that filled her eyes. She felt old, lonely, unhappy, and desperately jealous.
中文
第十六章
他们的这次争吵，以某种奇妙的方式消除了他们之间的隔阂，让两人关系更加密切。当她再次提出公寓的问题时，汤姆并没有像她预想中的那样抵触。在他和朱莉娅重新复合，拿回她的礼物并同意忘记那借款后，汤姆看起来似乎已经将自己道德上的顾虑都置于一边了。他们一起开心地装修公寓。司机的老婆替他打扫屋子并为他做早餐。朱莉娅有一把公寓钥匙，有时会自己进去，独自坐在那小小的客厅里，等他从办公室回来。他们一周在外共进两到三次晚餐并且跳舞，然后坐出租车回到公寓。朱莉娅过了一个愉快的秋天。他们上演的戏剧很成功。她感到灵动而年轻。罗杰圣诞节的时候回到家中，但只待了两周，然后就去了维也纳。朱莉娅预计他会霸占汤姆，她决定不去计较。年轻人自然会和年轻人相互吸引，她告诉自己，如果有那么几天他们两个形影不离，以至于汤姆忽略了她的存在，这也没什么值得她焦虑的。她现在拥有他。能成为她的情人，他感到很骄傲，这给了他不少自信，而且他很高兴和一大群知名人士有不错的交情，虽然他都是通过朱莉娅认识的这些人。他现在非常渴望加入一个上层俱乐部，朱莉娅目前正在帮他找门路。查尔斯从未拒绝过朱莉娅，她很肯定，用点伎俩她一定能够哄骗他提议让汤姆加入他所属的那个俱乐部。对于汤姆来说，有钱花是一件新奇又愉快的体验；她鼓励他奢侈一点；她明白，他会习惯这种生活方式，然后意识到他无法离开她了。
“当然这一切不会长久，”她告诉她自己，“但到头来，对他来讲这是一次很棒的经历。这会让他成为真正的男子汉。”
然而，虽然她自己认为这关系不会长久，但她并不真正明白其中的理由。随着时间消逝，他渐渐变老，他们之间不会有特别的不同。再过十年或十五年，他不再如此年轻，而她还会像现在这般年纪。他们在一起相处得很舒服。男人是习惯性的动物；这让女人能牢牢地控制他们。她从未感到比他年纪大，同时她也确信他从未想过他们年龄之间的差异。对此有那么一阵子她的确感到不安。她正躺在他的床上。他站在梳妆台旁，穿着衬衫，梳他的头发。她全身赤裸，以提香笔下的维纳斯那样的姿势躺在那里，她记得到一所乡间别墅做客时看到过这幅画。她觉得自己摆出了一副可爱的画面，完全意识到自己所展现的美丽动人的形象，便保持着这个姿势。她开心而满足。
“这就是浪漫。”她想，嘴角挂着一抹浅浅的微笑。
他在镜子里看到了她，转过身，没说一句话，抽起被单遮住了她的身体。虽然她充满爱意地朝他微笑，但还是让她心里一惊。他是害怕她着凉吗？还是他那英国人的腼腆个性被她的裸体吓到？又或者，在他男孩子的欲望得到满足后，看到她衰老的身体让他有点恶心？当朱莉娅回家后，她再次脱掉所有的衣服，在穿衣镜前审视了自己。朱莉娅决定对自己不留情面。她观察她的脖子，那里没有一点岁月的痕迹，尤其是当她把脸抬起来的时候；她的乳房小而坚实，说是女孩子的乳房都不为过。她的小腹扁平，臀部小巧，那儿有一些肥肉，像一根长香肠，但所有人都有，不过菲利普斯小姐可以在那儿用用力气了。没人会说她的双腿不漂亮，她的腿纤长而美丽；她用双手抚摸着自己的全身，她的皮肤如同天鹅绒一般柔软，白皙且没有一颗黑痣。当然，她眼睛下面有一些细纹，但你得仔细盯着看才能发现；据说有种手术可以让人摆脱这些细纹，或许可以去打听一下；幸运的是，她的头发没有褪色，因为不管染得怎样好，都会让脸看起来僵硬；她的头发依旧是鲜明的深棕色。她的牙齿保养得也非常好。
“假正经，就是这样。”
一瞬间她回忆起火车上那个蓄胡子的西班牙人，顽皮地对着镜子里的自己笑笑。
“他可一点都不害臊。”
不过尽管如此，从那天起，她开始小心自己的行为举止，以按照汤姆的体面标准行事。
朱莉娅的名声非常好，她觉得自己没有必要犹豫是否应该和汤姆一起出现在公众场合。对她来说去夜总会是一种新体验，她很喜欢，虽然她比任何人都清楚不论她去哪里都会被注视，但她却从未想过她这些习惯上的变化会引起公众的议论。在对婚姻忠贞二十年后，当然她没有把西班牙人的事情算作数，任何意外都可能发生在一个女人身上。朱莉娅很自信，认为没有人会怀疑她跟一个小到可以当她儿子的年轻人有私情。她从未想过，汤姆可能并没有她想象中的那么小心谨慎，也从未想过他们一起跳舞时她的眼神会背叛她。她自视享有特权，所以从没想到人们最终开始沸沸扬扬地说起闲话。
当流言传到多莉·德·弗里斯的耳朵中时，她笑了。应朱莉娅的要求，她邀请汤姆参加各种聚会，还有一两次邀请他来乡下的别墅度周末，但她从未把汤姆放在心上。他看起来是个不错的小家伙，当迈克尔忙碌时还可以做朱莉娅的陪同，但微不足道。他是那种不论在哪里经过都引不起注意的人，甚至在跟他见过面后依然想不起他长什么样子。他就是为了让参加聚会的人数变成双数才会去邀请的那种人。朱莉娅会开心地称他为“我的男孩朋友”或者“我的年轻男人”；如果他们之间真有什么私情，她不可能对此表现得如此镇静坦诚。而且，多莉非常清楚，朱莉娅的生活中只有两个男人，迈克尔和查尔斯·泰默利。但同时又觉得朱莉娅可笑，在这么多年的洁身自好后，突然开始一周去三四次夜总会。最近多莉没怎么见到她，她的无视有点伤到多莉的自尊。多莉在戏剧界有很多朋友，于是开始打探。对于她听到的一切，她一点也开心不起来。她不知道对此该做何感想。有件事情是很确定的，朱莉娅并不知道人们在她背后都议论什么，必须得有人告诉她。不能是她，她没有这个勇气。即使是在这么多年的交情后，她还是有点害怕朱莉娅。朱莉娅是个脾气很好的女人，虽然她的语言经常显得唐突，但她很难被惹怒。可她有种气质不允许你跟她胡来，你会觉得如果跟她闹得太大你会为此感到后悔。但必须得做些什么。多莉在脑子里翻来覆去地将此事思虑了两个礼拜，忧心忡忡；她试图将自己受伤的情感暂且先搁置在一边，完全从朱莉娅的演艺事业出发，最后她得出结论，得让迈克尔跟她讲。她从来没喜欢过迈克尔，但他毕竟是朱莉娅的丈夫，她有义务告诉迈克尔，让他给正在发生的这一切画上句号。
于是，多莉打电话给迈克尔，并约他在剧院见面。迈克尔对多莉就像她对他一样，也没有任何好感，虽然是由于另外的原因，当他听到她想见他的时候，迈克尔不由得诅咒了一声。他很懊恼无法让多莉出售她的那部分股份，还憎恨她给出的一切建议，他认为那是横加干涉。但当多莉出现在他的办公室时，他还是友好地问候了她，亲吻了她的脸颊。
“请坐，别客气。来这儿是不是为了看看这个老剧院是否还在给你挣红利？”
多莉·德·弗里斯已经六十岁了。她很胖，大鼻子和厚厚的红嘴唇使她的脸看起来硕大无比。她的黑绸连衣裙有一丝男性风格，但她脖子上戴了一串双圈珍珠项链，腰部和帽子上分别戴了一个钻石胸针。她的短发染成鲜明的铜黄色，嘴唇和指甲涂得火红。她的声音洪亮低沉，但当她激动时，说出的字眼会叠加听不清，并暴露出一丝伦敦底层人的口音。
“迈克尔，我为朱莉娅的事情感到心烦意乱。”
迈克尔，这个完美的绅士，稍稍挑起眉毛，紧闭着他那薄薄的嘴唇。他可不打算跟多莉谈论自己的妻子。
“我觉得她最近做得实在有点过分。我不知道什么冲昏了她的脑子。她现在去的那些聚会、那些夜总会还有其他的事情。毕竟，她不再是个年轻女人了；她会把自己耗尽的。”
“哦，一派胡言。她强壮得跟头牛一样，她非常健康。她比前几年显得还要年轻。别看她做完一天的工作去找点乐子就嫉妒她。现在她演的角色并不费力，我很开心她能出去玩一玩。这仅仅说明她多么有活力。”
“她从来没有对那种事情感兴趣过。突然间，她就开始去那种氛围糟糕的地方跳舞到深夜两点，这太奇怪了。”
“那是她唯一的运动。她可不会穿上短裤跟我去公园里跑步。”
“我觉得你应该知道人们都在说些什么。这些言论对她的名声可不太好。”
“你到底是在说什么？”
“她这种年纪，跟一个那么年轻的男孩，如此引人瞩目地在公共场合出现，这简直太荒谬了。”
迈克尔看着多莉，并没有理解她在说什么，当他明白过来时，他大笑不已。
“汤姆？别犯傻了，多莉。”
“我不是犯傻。我知道我在说什么。像朱莉娅那么出名的人，总是跟一个男人在一起，人们自然会说闲话。”
“但汤姆是我们俩的朋友。你很明白，我没办法带她出去跳舞。我得第二天早上八点起床，在开始工作前去运动。活见鬼，在三十年舞台生涯后，我还是知道一点人性的。汤姆是一个纯朴诚实的英国男孩，他是个绅士。我敢说他爱慕朱莉娅，那个年纪的男孩经常会觉得他们爱上了比自己年纪大的女人，但这不会对他产生什么伤害，只会给他带来好处；但认为朱莉娅会对他有什么想法——我可怜的多莉，你真让我觉得好笑。”
“他无趣、迟钝、普通且还很势利。”
“好吧，如果他是你所说的那种人，而朱莉娅跟他形影不离，这难道不让你觉得奇怪吗？”
“只有女人会知道女人能做什么。”
“这句话不错，多莉。我们可能会请你写下一部戏剧。现在让我们把这个问题解决掉。你能直视我的脸，告诉我，你真的认为朱莉娅和汤姆有私情？”
她直勾勾地看着他的脸，眼睛里充满了痛苦。虽然刚开始当她听到关于朱莉娅的流言时她付之一笑，但她无法抑制住后来侵占了她脑子的疑虑；她记起了很多小事，当时觉得没什么，但现在看来非常可疑。她遭遇了在她看来无法忍受的痛苦。证据？她没有证据；她的直觉告诉她不能不信。她想回答是，这种冲动几乎无法控制；但她还是控制住了。她不能背叛朱莉娅。这个笨蛋可能会告诉朱莉娅，然后朱莉娅就再也不会跟自己说话了。他可能会暗中监视朱莉娅，并抓她的现行。没人能预测如果她说了实话会发生什么。
“不，我不确信。”
她的双眼满是泪水，泪珠顺着她巨大的脸颊流下来。迈克尔看到了她的痛苦。他觉得她很可笑，但他意识到她非常难过，心地善良的他想要给她安慰。
“我确信你并不这么认为。你知道朱莉娅有多喜欢你，如果她有了新朋友，你不能嫉妒，你知道的。”
“上帝知道我并不嫉妒她什么，”她抽泣地说道，“最近她对我变得非常不同。她变得很冷漠。我对她如此忠诚，迈克尔。”
“是的，亲爱的，我知道。”
“如果我把为国王效劳的热诚，用一半来侍奉我的上帝……”
“哦，得了，还没有那么糟糕。你知道，我不是那种会跟别人谈论自己老婆的人。我总是觉得这事儿不成体统。但你知道，老实说，你一点也不了解朱莉娅。性对于她来说什么都不是。我们刚结婚那会儿，一切都不同，我不介意告诉你毕竟那几年她让我的日子也不怎么好过。我并不是说她是一个女色情狂或是类似的什么，但有时她会让人很疲惫。床上生活很好，但生活中还有其他事情。可自打罗杰出生，她完全变了。生孩子让她安定下来。她将所有这些本能都带入要演的戏中。多莉，你读过弗洛伊德；他把这个叫作什么来着？”
“哦，迈克尔，我才不关心什么弗洛伊德。”
“升华。就是这个。我经常会想是什么让她成为如此成功的女演员。演戏是一件需要花费全部时间的工作，如果你想演得好，你必须把自己全部都投入进去。对于那些认为演员们过着放荡不羁的生活的公众我很没有耐心。我们才没有时间做那种荒唐的事情。”
迈克尔说的这些话让多莉非常生气，她恢复了自制。
“不过迈克尔，你和我可能认为朱莉娅跟那个蹩脚小子混在一起没什么。但这对她的名声可不好。毕竟，你们的一大资产就是模范的婚姻生活。所有人都羡慕你们这一点。公众很喜欢把你们当作彼此深爱、亲密和谐的一对儿。”
“我们确实是这样，见鬼。”
多莉渐渐失去耐心。
“但我告诉你，人们在说闲话。你没有那么愚蠢，不会预想不到他们一定会这么说。我的意思是，如果朱莉娅一直就有接二连三的花边新闻，没人会注意，但在她过了这么多年规规矩矩的生活后，突然发生现在这样的事情——所有人自然都会开始说闲话。这对生意影响很坏。”
迈克尔快速地瞥了她一眼，微微地笑了。
“我明白你的意思了，多莉。我知道你说的有一定道理，而且在这种情况下，我觉得你完全有理由说这样的话。当我们刚刚开始经营剧院的时候你对我们非常好，我非常不愿意让你失望。我的解决方法是，我会把你的股份买过来。”
“买我的股份？”
多莉挺直了身子，刚才还愁容不展的脸立刻板了起来。她怒不可遏。迈克尔继续温柔地说道：
“我明白你的意思。如果朱莉娅整夜在外寻欢作乐，一定会反映在她的表演上。很明显。她有一批妙不可言的观众——一批老太太，她们来看我们的日场演出，就因为她们认为她是个那样可爱的好女人。我不介意承认，如果她的行为引起大家关于她不好的闲言碎语，这的确会影响收入。我很了解朱莉娅，她不会让任何人干涉她的行动自由。我是她的丈夫，我必须忍受这一点。可你的位置不一样。如果你乘着这个有利时机退出去的话，我不会责怪你。”
多莉现在警惕起来。她可不愚蠢，在商业方面她跟迈克尔棋逢对手。她生气极了，但愤怒让她自制。
“凭着这么多年的交情，我以为，迈克尔，你会更懂我一些。我觉得，出于义务，我必须让你警惕，但同时我也会跟你们共浮沉。我不是那种弃沉船而逃的女人。我敢说，比起你，我更输得起我的那部分钱。”
看到迈克尔脸上清晰显现出的失望让她心满意足。她晓得他对金钱看得很重，希望她刚才说的话使他心痛。迈克尔很快就镇定下来。
“好吧，多莉，那么你再想想。”
多莉拎起包，两人说着友善的客套话分了手。
“愚蠢的老婊子。”当门在多莉身后关上的那一刻，迈克尔说道。
“自负的老蠢驴。”多莉乘坐电梯下楼，嘘声说道。
但当多莉进入她那非常昂贵的豪华汽车，开回蒙塔古广场时，她再也无法抑制住满眶的沉重痛苦的眼泪。她感到自己老了，孤独寂寞，郁郁寡欢，妒火中烧。
