“Don’t tell anyone”. We hear these words when someone tells a secret to us. But it can be hard to keep a secret. We’re often tempted to“spill the beans”, even if we regret it later.

“别告诉别人噢”。当别人告诉我们一个秘密之前，我们总会听到这句话。但保守秘密并非易事。就算事后会后悔，我们还是常常会忍不住说漏嘴。

According to Asim Shah, professor in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine, US, keeping a secret may well “become a burden”. This is because people often have an “obsessive and anxious urge to share it with someone”.

美国贝勒医学院梅宁格精神病学与行为科学系教授阿西姆·沙哈认为，保守秘密很可能“成为一大负担”。因为人们时常有“急于与他人分享的过分冲动”。

An earlier study, led by Anita E. Kelly, a scientist at the University of Notre Dame, US, suggested that keeping a secret could cause stress. People entrusted with secrets can suffer from depression, anxiety, and body aches, reported the Daily Mail.

此前，美国圣母大学科学家安妮塔·E·凯莉主导的一项研究认为，保守秘密会带来压力。据《每日邮报》报道，被要求保密的人会感到抑郁、焦虑以及身体疼痛。

But with secrets so often getting out, why do people share them at all? Shah explained that people often feel that it will help them keep a person as a friend. Another reason people share secrets is guilt over keeping it from someone close to them. A sense of distrust can develop when people who are close do not share it with each other. “Keeping or sharing secrets often puts people in a position of either gaining or losing the trust of someone,” according to Shah.

既然秘密这么容易被说出去，那么人们为什么还会分享秘密呢?沙哈解释称，人们常常会觉得分享秘密能够帮助他们维系友谊。人们分享秘密的另一原因是对亲近之人保密所产生的愧疚感。亲朋密友之间存在秘密会产生一种不信任感。“保守或者分享秘密常常将人们置于获得或者失去他人信任的处境，”沙哈表示。

He added that talkative people could let secrets slip out. But this doesn’t mean that it is a good idea only to share secrets with quiet people. A quiet person may be someone who keeps everything inside. To tell such a person a secret may cause them stress, and make them talk about the secret.

他补充道，健谈的人会泄露秘密。但这不意味着只和安静的人分享秘密就是个好主意。一个安静内向的人或许会将一切都藏在心里。和这样的人分享秘密或许会让他们感到压力，从而令他们说出秘密。

Shah said that to judge whether to tell someone a secret, you’d better put yourself in their position. Think about how you would feel to be told that you mustn’t give the information away. Shah also recommended that if you accidentally give up someone’s secret you should come clean about it. Let the person know that their secret isn’t so secret anymore.

沙哈表示，判断是否应该与一个人分享秘密，需要换位思考。想想你被告知要保守秘密会是什么样的感觉。沙哈还建议，如果你不小心将别人的秘密说漏嘴了，你应该坦白承认。让那个人知道，自己的秘密已经不再那么隐秘了。