their student.

 

It may be the best way for the developing country to reform their high education system, especially with those majors that closely connected with market or industry application.we must give our student  most upcoming technolegy or skill to meet the need of outdoor of our college,the information from students may be the best reference for the educator to determine what they should take to the classroom.

 

COMMENTARY

This essay displays little ability to develop and organize a coherent response to the topic.

 

The essay takes the position that China needs to reform its traditional approach to curriculum by becoming more student centered and technologically current.  However, the reader has to work hard to decipher the generally confusing line of reasoning, which does not obviously address the central issue presented in the topic.

 

There is an attempt to organize the argument into a three-paragraph essay, but the one-sentence introduction is simply a variation of the topic statement.  The brief body of the essay does not advance an opinion in a coherent manner, and the final paragraph shifts the focus to the need for technology in the curriculum.

 

The errors (comma splices, misspellings, verb problems, etc.) are so intrusive that coherence remains a problem.

 

This essay would need considerable rewriting in order to earn a higher score than 1.