[00:04.20]- I got him! - Take him down! - 超过他了! - 打败他!

[00:03.76]- He's got you, sheldon. - Look at this move! - 他超过你了 Sheldon - 瞧这下!

[00:05.00]He's completely schooling you. 他完全超过你了

[00:08.88]Hey, guys, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something. 嘿 伙计们 伙计们 别的女服务生要我问你们点事

[00:10.76]It's called tressling. 这叫Tressling

[00:12.76]It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of tetris 是一项将掰手腕的体力和 玩俄罗斯方块的

[00:15.68]into the ultimate sport. 思维能力集为一体的运动

[00:18.28]Yeah, that's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out. 嗯 听起来很厉害 但是她们叫你们快别玩了

[00:22.40]Great. Come here, guys. Come on. 很好 来吧 伙计们 来吧

[00:24.96]Happy birthday to you 祝你生日快乐

[00:27.96]we might as well stop. It's a stalemate. 我们最好停下吧 陷入平局了

[00:30.44]You're beating me in tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a keebler elf. 俄罗斯方块上你赢了我 但你的上肢力量就像Keebler饼干玩偶

[00:30.44]美国著名饼干品牌 主要形象是小玩偶

[00:35.28]Keebler elf? I've got your keebler elf right here. Keebler玩偶? 让你瞧瞧Keebler玩偶的厉害

[00:41.44]okay, it's a stalemate. 好吧 平局

[00:46.56]So, leonard, will we be seeing you on saturday for your free birthday cheesecake? 那么 Leonard 周六带免费芝士蛋糕去见你?

[00:50.16]He can't eat cheesecake. He's lactose intolerant. 他不能吃芝士蛋糕 他不吃乳糖的

[00:51.60]Okay, he can have carrot cake. 好吧 他可以吃胡萝卜蛋糕

[00:53.64]What about the cream cheese frosting? 那层奶油干酪怎么办?

[00:55.88]He can scrape it off. 可以刮掉嘛

[00:58.96]Forget about the cake. How do you know that my birthday's saturday? 别管蛋糕了 你怎么知道周六是我生日?

[01:02.00]I did your horoscope, remember? 我帮你算过星座 记得不?

[01:01.28]I was going to do everybody's, until sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants. 我本来要帮所有人算的 但Sheldon开始了他的疯言疯语

[01:07.92]For the record, "that psychotic rant" 请注意 你所谓的"疯言疯语"

[01:10.04]was a concise summation of the research of bertram forer, 是巴纳姆效应的简明总结

[01:13.40]who, in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments 他在1948年经过精密的设计性实验得出

[01:15.00]that astrology is nothing but pseudo-scientific hokum. 占星学只不过是一堆伪科学的废话

[01:19.96]Blah, blah, blah. Typical taurus. 废话好多 典型的金牛座

[01:21.08]So, seriously, are we going to see you saturday? 说真的 我们周六能见到你吗?

[01:24.76]Uh, I don't think so. 呃 我不这么认为

[01:26.28]Why not? 为什么不?

[01:26.28]I don't celebrate my birthday. 我不庆祝生日的

[01:28.60]Shut up. Yeah, you do. 少来 咋会不庆祝呢

[01:28.68]It's no big deal; it's just the way I was raised. 就是普通日子嘛 我就这么长大的

[01:32.32]My parents focused on celebrating achievements, 我父母注重于庆祝巨大成就

[01:32.72]and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them. 我从产道里蹦出来对他们来说 并不是什么成就

[01:39.00]that's so silly. 这太愚蠢了

[01:38.08]Sheldon: It's actually based on very sound theories. 实际上这基于非常有力的理论

[01:40.44]His mother published a paper on it. 他母亲还就此发表了论文

[01:44.92]Well, what was it called? 哦? 叫什么题目?

[01:45.84]"I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"? "我讨厌我儿子 所以他不能吃蛋糕"?

[01:48.72]Sheldon: It was obviously effective. 这样做显然很有效果

[01:48.24]Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. Leonard长大成为一个实验物理学家

[01:51.76]Perhaps if she'd also denied him christmas, he'd be a little better at it. 也许 如果她也不让他过圣诞节 他就会比现在更优秀

[01:55.56]Thank you. 谢谢你

[01:59.76]Well, I love birthdays. 我喜欢过生日

[01:59.84]Waking up to mom's special french toast breakfast, 早上起来吃妈妈特制的法国吐司

[02:02.04]wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends... 头戴生日王冠 和所有的朋友一起玩激光搏击...

[02:05.28]yeah, see? That's what kids should have. 是啊 瞧见没? 孩子就应该这么过

[02:07.68]Actually, that was last year. 实际上 说的是我去年的生日

[02:14.68]So you really never had a birthday party? 你真的 从来没有 办过生日派对?

[02:16.60]No, but it was okay. 没有 不过没关系

[02:20.64]I mean, when I was little, 我是指 在我还小的时候

[02:21.56]I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party. 我曾想也许我父母会改变主意 然后给我一个惊喜派对

[02:24.68]Like this one birthday I came home from my cello lesson 比如有次生日 我刚学完大提琴回家

[02:27.12]and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front. 我看到很多陌生车停在门外

[02:27.80]When I got to the door, I could hear people whispering 走到门口 还听见人们在小声说话

[02:29.28]and I could smell german chocolate cake, which is my favorite. 而且还闻到了德国巧克力蛋糕的味道 那是我最喜欢的蛋糕

[02:35.52]And? 然后呢?

[02:37.56]It turns out my grandfather had died. 结果是我爷爷去世了

[02:38.64]Oh, my god. That's terrible. 噢 我的天哪 这太恐怖了

[02:41.72]Well, it was kind of like a birthday party. 但我觉得也算个生日派对了

[02:45.48]I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so... 我见到了所有的表兄弟 也有蛋糕 所以...

[02:50.28]that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 这是我听过最可怜的事了

[02:50.20]You think? 你这么觉得?

[02:53.92]Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom. 来吧 告诉她你的毕业舞会

[03:15.24]The Big Bang Theory Season01 Episode16天才理论传 第一季 第16集

[03:22.60]********Remember-- no peanuts. 一定要记得--不要放花生

[03:24.92]Howard, every thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts. Howard 城里每个泰国餐厅 都知道你不能吃花生

[03:28.48]When they see me coming, they go, "ah, no-peanut boy!" 他们一看到我去 就会说"啊 不要花生的男孩!"

[03:43.96]Hello, penny. Leonard just left. 你好 Penny Leonard刚刚出门

[03:45.88]I know. I want to talk to you. 我知道 我想要跟你谈谈

[03:47.36]What would we talk about? 我们谈些什么?

[03:49.72]We have no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of. 我想 我们还没发现兴趣的交集

[03:52.00]As you know, I don't care for chitchat. 你知道的 我不喜欢闲谈

[03:52.100]Can you just let me in? 能让我进去吗?

[03:54.04]Well, all right, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor. 好吧 但我不觉得这招管用

[03:60.56]Okay, here's the deal. 好吧 事情是这样的

[04:01.40]We are going to throw leonard a kick-ass surprise party for his birthday on saturday. 我们周六给Leonard办个 超惊喜的生日派对

[04:02.12]I hardly think so. 我很难同意

[04:04.28]Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party. Leonard说的很清楚 他不要派对

[04:06.92]Did someone say... "party"? 刚才有人说..."派对"?

[04:10.64]He just doesn't know he wants one 'cause he's never had one. 他并不知道自己想要 因为他从没有过生日派对

[04:14.56]I suppose that's possible, but for the record, 就算是的 但请注意

[04:15.72]I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one. 我从没玩过3P 但我知道我想要

[04:20.40]Howard, here's the difference-- Howard 这两者的区别是--

[04:22.04]the possibility exists that leonard could have a birthday party before hell freezes over. 在地狱结冰之前 Leonard过生日派对存在可能性

[04:28.08]Fine. If I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it. 好吧 如果我真的玩3P 你不能参加

[04:34.12]I'm just kidding. Yes, you can. 我开玩笑的 你当然能参加了

[04:37.44]Can you bring a friend? 能再带个朋友吗?

[04:40.08]I think a birthday party's a terrible idea. 我觉得生日派对是个糟糕的想法

[04:44.04]I envy leonard for growing up without that anguish. 我很羡慕Leonard 成长过程中没有这种痛苦

[04:46.60]Anguish? 痛苦?

[04:46.72]Year after year, I had to endure wearing comical hats 年复一年 我必须强忍戴上滑稽的帽子

[04:49.36]while being forced into the crowded, sweaty hell of bouncy castles. 被迫挤在人群中 弄得满身大汗

[04:54.68]Not to mention being blindfolded and being spun toward a grotesque tailless donkey 更别提要被蒙上眼睛 转着走向那头硕大的无尾驴

[04:54.68]游戏: 给无尾驴安上尾巴

[04:58.48]as the other children mocked my disorientation. 走错了方向 更要被其他孩子嘲笑

[05:03.04]Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no nonprofessional can heal, 好吧 亲爱的 我知道你心里的伤 一般人治不了

[05:06.56]but, nevertheless, we're going to throw leonard a birthday party. 但我们仍旧要给Leonard办个生日派对

[05:09.96]Have I pointed out that I'm extremely uncomfortable with dancing, 我说过吗? 我极度地不喜欢跳舞

[05:11.68]loud music and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity? 还包括吵闹的音乐 以及大多数人在酒后的轻佻行为

[05:16.24]Nevertheless, we're... 虽然如此 我们...

[05:16.52]- in addition, I really don't think that leonard wants... - okay, here's the deal: - 而且 我觉得Leonard才不会希望... - 好吧 这样如何:

[05:18.36]You either you help me throw leonard a birthday party or, so help me god, 你要么帮我给Leonard 办一个生日派对 否则

[05:22.28]I will go in youour droom and unbag all of your most valuable, mint-condition comic books. 我会到你的卧室里把你最珍贵的 完好无损的漫画书统统倒出

[05:25.20]And on one of them-- t u won'yoknow which-- I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink. 在其中任选你不知道的一页-- 用墨水在上面画个迷你笑脸

[05:32.88]You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint. 你不能那么干 你在完好无损的书上 做记号 那就不再是完好无损了

[05:37.56]Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail? Sheldon 你脑里有勒索这个概念吗?

[05:37.100]Well, of course, I... oh. 当然 我...噢

[05:42.80]Yeah, I have an idea. 对 我有办法了

[05:43.60]Let's throw leonard a kick-ass birthday party. 我们给Leonard办个 超赞的生日派对

[06:05.88]that's not the secret knock. 暗号不对

[06:09.48]This is the secret knock. 看我的正确演示

[06:14.28]what difference does it make? 有什么不同的效果呢?

[06:16.92]The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a non-verbal signal 暗号的精髓就在于 建立一种非言语的暗号

[06:20.84]to verify the identity of one's co-conspirators. 用于查证同谋们的身份

[06:21.76]Penny: Is that raj and howard? 是Raj和Howard?

[06:22.84]Possibly, but unverified. 有可能 查证中

[06:27.00]Will you just let us in. 还打算让我们进去吗

[06:27.12]Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear reactor. 你们很幸运 我们不是在搞核反应堆

[06:31.76]So what'd you get the birthday boy? 你们给寿星准备了什么呢?

[06:32.20]Well, raj got him an awesome, limited edition dark knight sculpture Raj给他准备的是限定版的 黑暗骑士人偶 非常之棒

[06:35.64]based on alex ross's definitive batman. 按照AlexRoss's诠释的 终极蝙蝠侠

[06:37.64]And I got him this amazing autographed copy of the feynman lectures on physics. 我给他准备的是费曼物理学讲义 题署本 绝对让人惊喜

[06:42.84]Nice. I got him a sweater. 不错嘛 我准备的是一件毛衣

[06:46.28]Okay, well, he might like that. I've seen him get chilly. 他可能会喜欢的 我见他有些怕冷

[06:49.96]Sheldon, I didn't see your present. Sheldon我还没有看到你的礼物呢

[06:53.40]That's because I didn't bring one. 因为我根本没准备

[06:54.08]- Why not? - Don't ask. - 为什么? - 别问他

[06:56.48]The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense. 整个俗世的礼尚往来完全没有意义

[06:57.24]Too late. 又晚了一步

[06:59.40]Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you. 如果说我出门然后为了花上50美元

[07:02.20]It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need, 这活动很费劲 因为我得想着 你需要什么呢

[07:06.76]whereas you know what you need. 实际上你自己最清楚你需要什么

[07:06.52]Now, I could simplify things-- just give you the $50 directly, 那么 我何不将事情简单化-- 直接给你50美元不就行了

[07:10.64]and then you could give me $50 on my birthday, 今后我的生日 你也可以送我50美元嘛

[07:11.76]and so on, until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer. 如此礼尚往来 直到有个人离开人世 丢下另外一个多50美元钱的老人

[07:20.04]And I ask you, is it worth it? 请问 这样做有意义吗?

[07:23.68]Told you not to ask. 说了不要问的嘛

[07:25.96]Well, sheldon, you're his friend. Sheldon 你可是他的朋友呀

[07:27.40]Friends give each other presents. 朋友们就该是互赠礼物的呀

[07:29.84]I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion. 我同意你的提论 但不认同你的结论

[07:31.100]Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention. 试试让他明白这是 不依个人意志的社交惯例吧

[07:35.96]- What? - Just do it. - 什么? - 照做就是了

[07:40.68]it's a non-optional... social convention. 这是不依个人意志的... 社交惯例

[07:46.84]Fair enough. 说的有道理

[07:50.20]He came with a manual. 他嘛 有随机附送的使用手册

[07:53.32]Question-- how am I going to get leonard a present before the party? 提问--我怎样才能在派对前 给Leonard准备礼物呢?

[07:55.100]I don't drive and the only things available within walking distaenc 我开不来车 那么步行范围内 唯一可行的

[07:58.16]are a thai restaurant and a gas station. 就是泰国菜餐馆和加油站

[08:00.52]I suppose I could wrap up an order of mee krob and a coup e of ttery scratchers. 也许我可以带一份米制面条 外加一张即刮彩券

[08:06.36]Okay let's do this-- I will drive sheldon to get a present. 我们这么安排-- 我载 Sheldon去买礼物

[08:09.76]And howard, you need to get rid of leonard for about two hours. Howard 你得拖住Leonard 大概两个钟头时间

[08:12.04]No problem. 没问题

[08:11.32]And then, raj, you bring the stuff across the hall and start setting up. 然后 Raj 你把这些东西 拿到走廊去 把它们装饰好

[08:17.52]What if guests show up? 要是客人们来了呢?

[08:19.08]Entertain them. 好好招待

[08:20.60]What if they're women? 如果是女客人呢?

[08:23.44]Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable. 死盯她们 弄得她们不自在

[08:40.72]- How's it goin'? - Fine. - 玩得如何? - 很好

[08:42.88]So listen, the nuart is showing the revised, definitive cut of blade runner. 我听说 Nuart剧院正在上映 银翼杀手最终剪辑版

[08:47.36]Seen it. 看过的

[08:47.60]No, you've seen the 25th anniversary final cut. 不 你看的那是25周年 纪念的最终剪辑版本

[08:53.84]This one has eight seconds of previously unseen footage. 这一次有长达八秒的未公映片段

[08:54.16]They say it completely changes the tone of the film. 他们说 这八秒完全改变了电影的基调

[08:59.52]pass. 算了吧

[08:59.44]Come on. Afterwards, there's a q & a with harrison ford's body double. 不是吧 片尾还有 哈里森·福特替身的访谈问答

[09:06.72]Look, I'm in the halo bale of my life here. 你看 我正在到了光晕游戏的 要紧关头

[09:08.32]There's this kid in copenhagen-- he has no immune system, 这个哥本哈根的孩子-- 没有免疫功能

[09:09.12]so all he does is sit in his bubble and play halo 24-seven. 所以他只好整天坐在防菌隔膜里 玩光晕游戏

[09:13.08]Can't you play him some other time? 你就不能改天和他玩吗?

[09:17.24]Not if you believe his doctors. 除非你不相信他的医生的话

[09:23.28]Oh, my god, do you smell gas? 天啦 你闻到煤气味了吗?

[09:24.76]- No. - Yeah, no. - 没 - 的确 没有

[09:33.80]You know, they have dvds over there. DVD是在那边的

[09:34.12]Yes, but they have rndvd buers over here. 对 但DVD刻录机在这边的

[09:38.20]Leonard needs a dvd burner. Leonard需要DVD刻录机的

[09:41.28]Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs, it should be something fun. Sheldon 礼物不是满足别人 的需要的 而是充满快乐的东西

[09:44.64]You know, something they wouldn't buy for themself. 是那些 他们不会买给自己的东西

[09:47.48]You mean like a sweater? 比如说 毛衣?

[09:51.04]It's a fun sweater. 是件充满乐趣的毛衣

[09:52.52]It's got a bold geometric print. 上面印有狂野的几何图形

[09:56.64]- Is it the geometry that makes it fun? - Okay... - 几何图形让它具有了乐趣? - 好吧...

[09:58.48]the point is one of the ways we show we care about people 最重要的是能让人们 体会到我们的关心

[10:02.72]is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them. 通过礼物传达我们 对他们的美好想法

[10:05.72]Okay, I see. So, not a dvd burner. 好吧 我明白了 那就不买刻录机

[10:08.28]Exactly. 很正确

[10:11.96]Something he wouldn't buy for himself. Something fun. 他不会给自己买的 能给他带来快乐的东西

[10:14.24]Something like... an 802-11n wireless router! 比如... 802-11的无线路由器!

[10:21.24]Here you go, copenhagen boy. 该你了 哥本哈根小鬼

[10:22.80]How about a taste of hans christian hand grenade? 试试看德国产的手榴弹滋味如何?

[10:26.100]Oh, that could not feel good. 那感觉一定很糟

[10:33.16]Come on, come... oh, you clever... 来呀 来呀...你这个机灵...

[10:39.12]come on. Come on. Take that! 来 来吧 看我的!

[10:52.28]- What's the matter? - This granola bar, it has peanuts in it! - 怎么了? - 这燕麦卷棒 上面有花生粒!

[10:52.28]Oh, my god. Why did you eat it? 天啦 为什么你还要吃?

[10:56.88]I don't know. It was just there! 我哪知道 它刚好就在那儿!

[10:56.88]If I had a gun there, would you have shot yourself? 如果那儿是把枪 你会崩了自己吗?

[10:60.84]Don't yell at me! I've got to go to the emergency room! 别骂我! 我得去急诊科!

[11:03.44]Now? 现在去?

[11:03.08]No, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket! 等我的舌头肿成鸡胸脯那样再去!?

[11:07.16]All right, uh, just let me get my keys. 好吧 我去拿钥匙

[11:12.16]Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god! 天呀 天呀 天呀...

[11:14.04]The laundry is out of the hamper. 衣服已经腾出盥洗篮

[11:21.92]Okay, sheldon, what was it supposed to be? 拜托 Sheldon 你说还能是什么意思?

[11:24.12]Fine. It's out of the washer! 好吧 是洗衣机还不行嘛!

[11:26.60]I'll call you when it's in the dryer. 等进入烘干机我再给你打电话

[11:29.64]All right, let's go. 好了 咱们走

[11:44.28]what do you think? 你觉得呢?

[11:43.96]Um, that one. 唔 买那个

[11:44.88]- Because of the two additional ethernet ports? - Sure. - 因为有两个附加的以太网端口? - 没错

[11:49.40]He doesn't need them. He's already got a six-port ethernet switch. 他不需要 他已经有个6端口转换器了

[11:52.28]- Oh, okay, then this one. - Why? - 好 那就买这个吧 - 为什么?

[11:54.28]I don't know. The man on the box looks so happy. 我不知道 包装上这男的笑得很开心

[11:56.40]Penny, if I'm going to buy leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. Penny 如果我要给Leonard买礼物 我就要买好它

[12:01.48]I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did. 我不想让他遭受我童年的精神创伤

[12:04.16]I know I'm gonna regret this, but: What trauma? 我知道我会后悔问的 是什么精神创伤?

[12:09.48]On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge so, 我12岁生日时 非常想得到一个钛金属离心机

[12:11.56]you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes. 我就能分离放射性同位素了

[12:16.32]Of course. 当然

[12:17.76]Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me... 我父母没有给我买钛金属离心机 而是...

[12:19.44]wow, this is hard. 唉 难以启齿

[12:23.16]They got me a motorized dirt bike. 他们给我买了辆机动山地车

[12:27.68]No! 不是吧

[12:31.12]What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike? 哪个12岁男孩想要机动山地车?

[12:33.44]All of them? 每一个

[12:36.84]- Really? - Yeah. - 真的吗? - 对呀

[12:41.80]Okay, so we're getting this one? 好啦 我们就买这个了?

[12:43.72]- Yeah, I suppose. - All right, let's go. - 嗯 我想是的 - 很好 咱们走

[12:45.92]Exexse me. 打扰一下

[12:47.76]Do you know anything about this stuff? 你对这个东西有了解吗?

[12:48.96]I know everything about this stuff. 我对这个东西了如指掌

[12:51.72]Woman: Okay, I have my own wholesale flower business 好的 我开了一家鲜花批发店

[12:53.84]and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance with the one in my refrigerated warehouse. 我想把前台和冷冻仓库的电脑 连接在一起

[12:58.12]Here, buy this one: Look, it's the one we're getting. See? Happy guy. 买这个 我们买的就是这个 看他笑得多开心

[12:60.48]No, no, no, she doesn't want that. 不不不 她不能买那个

[13:02.80]She needs a point-to-point peer network with a range extender. 她需要的是有区域扩展功能的点对点网络

[13:06.44]Thank you. 谢谢

[13:06.68]Which hard drive do I want-- firewire or usb? 我要买哪个硬件 苹果火线还是USB?

[13:10.16]It depends on what buss you have available. 这取决于你用的什么总线(公交车)了

[13:15.76]I drive a chevy cavalier. 我开的是雪弗莱跑车

[13:19.72]Oh, dear lord. 上帝啊

[13:22.76]- Sheldon, we have to go. - Not now, penny. This poor man needs me. - Sheldon 我们得走了 - 现在不行 Penny 这个可怜人需要我

[13:24.92]You, hold on. I'll be right with you. 你等等 我一会儿就帮你

[13:28.16]What computer do you have? 你的电脑是什么样的?

[13:29.12]And please don't say "a white one." 别跟我说"是白色的"

[13:36.48]Excuse me. 打扰一下

[13:37.96]Fill this out. Have a seat. 填表 坐着等

[13:40.04]No, listen. See, we're throwing my friend a surprise party 不 听着 我们要给朋友 开一个惊喜派对

[13:40.68]and I'm supposed to keep him out of his apartment for two hours. 我得把他骗出公寓两个小时

[13:43.24]Fill this out and have a seat. 填表 坐着等

[13:47.64]No, see, the only way I could gehit m to leave was to tell him I ate a peanut 不 你瞧 我骗他离开的唯一办法 就是告诉他我吃了花生

[13:50.44]because I'm allergic to peanuts. 因为我对花生过敏

[13:50.16]Well, in that case, fill this out and have a seat. 好 这样的话 填表 坐着等

[13:56.92]Look, all I need from you is to take me in the back and give me a band-aid 拜托 我需要你带我到后面去 给我贴个创可贴

[13:57.68]so I can pretend I had a shot of epinephrine, 我可以假装打了一针肾上腺素

[13:59.04]and then you tell my friend you need to keep me under observation for about an hour, hour and a half. 你可以告诉我朋友 我需要留下观察 一小时 或一个半小时

[14:02.88]- Is that all you need? - Yes. - 你就想要这个? - 是的

[14:04.84]Get out of my er. 离我远点儿

[14:06.24]No, you don't understand. 不 你不明白

[14:07.60]Oh, I understand, but unfortunately, this hospital is not equipped to treat stupid. 我明白 算你倒霉 这医院不给傻子治病

[14:14.24]Okay, I get it. I know how the world works. 好吧 我懂了 我知道这社会怎么回事儿

[14:15.84]How about if I were to introduce to you to the man who freed your people? 我给你一位解放了你们同胞的人怎么样? (林肯解放了黑奴 5美元钞票上有他的头像)

[14:25.08]Unless my people were freed by benjamin franklin and his five twin brothers, 除非我的同胞是富兰克林(100美元钞票上头像) 和他的五个孪生兄弟解放的

[14:30.96]you are wasting your time. 你在浪费时间

[14:34.08]Hey, sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot. How are you doing? 对不起 我一直没找到停车位 你怎么样了?

[14:36.24]Bad, very bad. 糟糕 非常糟糕

[14:37.08]Really? You don't look like you're swelling up at all. 真的吗? 你看上去一点都不肿啊

[14:40.20]Maybe we should just pick up some benadryl at the drugstore and go home. 或许我们应该去药店 买些抗组织胺药然后回家

[14:42.00]- We can't go home. - Why not? - 我们不能回家 - 为什么不能?

[14:46.08]Because... 因为...

[14:47.60]because... 因为...

[14:50.64]brisket! Brisket! 鸡胸脯! 鸡胸脯!

[14:53.16]Water! Need water! 水! 我要喝水!

[14:55.96]I'll be right back. 我马上回来

[14:59.48]penny, listen, I've got a problem. Penny 听着 我有麻烦了

[15:02.96]Yeah, well, so do I. Look, you gotta stall leonard a little longer. 唔 我也是 你得多拖住Leonard一会儿

[15:04.96]I don't think I can. 我想我做不到

[15:06.40]You have to. We all have to be there at the same time to yell surprise. 必须做到 我们要同时到给他个惊喜

[15:08.60]Okay, you have to understand something. 你要了解情况

[15:09.24]We're in a hospital right now. 我们现在在医院

[15:12.84]Why? Is leonard okay? 为什么? Leonard还好吗?

[15:14.88]Leonard's fine. I'm fine. Leonard很好 我很好

[15:16.32]Thanks for asking, by the way. 谢谢你关心 顺便说一声

[15:16.44]Okay, I don't need your attitude. 你别发脾气

[15:18.04]Listen, just hold him there a little longer. 听着 再多拖住他一会儿

[15:20.52]Look, I've done my best, but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him. 我已经尽力了 他想回家 我不知如何阻止他

[15:23.76]Okay, how about this? 这个建议怎样?

[15:26.16]You keep himhere a little longer, and when you get to the party, 你多拖住他一会儿 等你到了派对上

[15:28.16]I'll point out which of my friends are easy? 我会告诉你 我朋友里哪个比较随便

[15:40.16]Don't toy with me, woman. 别耍我啊 丫头

[15:43.36]I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, 我认识一个减肥成功 而且没有自尊的辣妹

[15:45.36]I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around 和一个为了惩罚她爸爸 而和别人乱搞的女孩

[15:47.16]and alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat. 还有一个酒鬼妹 在两杯龙舌兰下肚后任你摆布

[15:54.16]Thy will be done. 我会搞定的

[16:05.80]I'm doing this for you, little buddy. 我可是为了你才做的 小伙计

[16:15.60]Okay, we don't have that in stock... 我们现在没有存货...

[16:18.36]but I can special-order it for you. 不过可以为你专门预定

[16:21.52]Him. 就是他

[16:22.60]Excuse me, sir. You don't work here. 对不起先生 你不在这里工作

[16:27.52]Yes, well, apparently, neither does anyone else. 没错 显然没人在这里工作

[16:30.24]- Eldon, we have to go. - Why? - Sheldon 我们得走了 - 为什么?

[16:32.48]Well, for one thing, we're late for leonard's birthday party, 第一 Leonard的派对我们要迟到了

[16:33.00]and for another, I told him to call security. 第二 我让他去叫保安了

[16:39.48]Good luck. 祝你好运

[16:41.48]By the way, a six-year-old could hack your computer system. 顺便说一下 6岁孩子都能黑了你的电脑

[16:43.40]Keep walking. 快走

[16:44.72]"1234" is not a secure password. 1234做密码可不安全

[16:51.24]Excuse me-- my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts. 对不起 我朋友对花生过敏了

[16:53.84]- No, he's not. - Yes, he is. - 不 他没有 - 他真的过敏了

[16:56.36]Look, sir, we are very busy here, and I... 先生 我们很忙 我...

[16:58.04]holy crap! 我的妈呀!

[17:02.40]Please help me! 请救救我!

[17:04.12]Code four! I need a gurney! 急救! 这里需要担架!

[17:06.12]- Right away! Right away! - Thank you. - 在这里 在这里 - 谢谢你

[17:14.40]Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country, 虽然你对医疗体系充满期待

[17:17.64]but when they're afraid of lawsuits, ********* 可他们怕吃官司 还是会做系统的检查

[17:19.80]I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary. 结肠镜检查真没必要

[17:27.96]You know, before you got all swollen up, 要知道 在你肿起来之前

[17:27.88]I actually thought you were trying to keep me out of the apartment 我以为你要骗我出公寓

[17:31.80]so you could throw me a surprise party. 好为我开一个惊喜派对

[17:33.60]Oh, right, it's your birthday. 也是哦 今天是你生日

[17:35.28]I had no idea it was your birthday. I completely forgot. 我不知道是你生日 我完全忘记了

[17:38.04]Wow, what a lousy way to spend a birthday. Well, it's all over now. 这个生日过得太糟了 现在全都完了

[17:45.88]There is a party, isn't there? 确实有派对 是吗?

[17:47.40]Maybe. 可能吧

[17:48.48]Howard? Howard?

[17:52.20]Are you mad? 你生气了?

[17:51.20]How could I be mad? 我怎么会生气呢?

[17:53.92]You actually risked your life because you care about me. 你可是冒了生命危险 因为你关心我

[17:58.28]Yeah, that's why I did it. 对 所以我才这么做的

[18:03.24]All right. Here we go. 好的 咱们瞧瞧

[18:09.76]My first birthday party. 我第一个生日派对

[18:12.48]* I see your true colors * * 我看到了你的本色 *

[18:15.20]* and that's why I love you.* * 这就是为什么我爱你 *

[18:21.68]Dude, everybody left an hour ago. 兄弟 大家一小时前就走了

[18:27.96]Surprise! 惊喜!

[18:33.88]******* I am on your birthday party. 快看 Leonard 我在你的生日派对上

[18:38.04]I don't know where you are, dude, but it's really kick-ass! 我不知道你在哪儿 哥们儿 这个派对棒呆了!

[18:42.44]Everyone is very, very drunk and... 每个人都喝得很醉很醉 而且...

[18:47.68]oh, and look, there's a girl taking her shirt off! 快看 那个女孩把上衣脱了!

[18:50.96]That's my friend carol. 她是我朋友Carol

[18:52.64]Remind me-- I gotta introduce her to howard. 差点忘了 我要把她介绍给Howard

[18:57.48]Oh, sweet krishna, shake that rupee maker! 亲爱的克利须那神啊! 快摇起你那宝贝来!

[19:01.84]I'm so sorry you didn't get your party. 对不起 你没赶上自己的派对

[19:04.76]Oh, it's okay. 没关系

[19:06.88]Well, happy birthday, anyways. 不管怎样 还是祝你生日快乐

[19:18.28]Hey, penny, wh-wh-when's your birthday? Penny 你什么时候过生日?