"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you fromthe school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to makethe right decision. I left the others near home — I was too ashamed to tell them how weak Iwas, they only knew something was very wrong — and then I went straight to Carlisle, at thehospital, to tell him I was leaving."

“但我抵抗住了。我不知道自己是怎么做到的。我强迫自己不要停下来等你，不要跟着你离开学校。在外头，当我再也闻不到你的时候，我可以更容易地思考，更容易地作出正确的选择。快到家的时候，我让别的人下了车——我太羞愧了，不敢告诉他们我的意志是那么的薄弱。他们只知道出了非常严重的状况——然后我直奔医院找卡莱尔，告诉他我要离开。”

I stared in surprise.

我震惊地看着他 。

"I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to gohome, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried toconvince me that it wasn't necessary…

“我和他交换了车子——他的车子有满满一箱油，而我不想停下来。我不敢回家，不敢面对艾思梅。如果我去见她，她一定不会让我走的。她会竭力说服我这毫无必要……”

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a greatcowardice. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. I hatedknowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of themountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to runaway. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I wasstrong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl" — he grinned suddenly — "to chase me fromthe place I wanted to be? So I came back…" He stared off into space.

“第二天早上我到了阿拉斯加。”他听起来很羞愧，就好像在承认自己是多么的怯懦一样。“我在那里待了两天，和一些老相识在一起……但我很想家。我讨厌想到，我让艾思梅伤心了，还有余下的几个，我不是亲人胜似亲人的家人。在高山上纯净的空气里，很难想象你的味道是那么的不可抗拒。我说服自己，逃跑是一种示弱的行为。在此之前我能很好地抵抗诱或，虽然它们都没有这样强烈，甚至没有这样接近，但我很坚强。而你，一个不起眼的小女孩”——他忽然咧嘴一笑——“能把我从我想去的地方赶走?所以我回来了……”他看向空中。