[00:06.11]Dear Sir or Madam:
[00:09.51]I am writing in regard to your notice about the delay in shipment of my order
[00:14.64]for 14 dozen Olympic quality, ultra accurate, gold tip arrows.
[00:20.44]Perhaps you do not understand the urgency of the situation.
[00:24.49]I realize that you have no control over the suppliers of your stock; however,
[00:30.17]surely you have an existing supply in your warehouse.
[00:34.33]As a valid customer for so many years,
[00:37.72]I appeal to you to consider filling my order ahead of any others.
[00:42.87]Since Valentine's Day will fall on the 14th day of February, as traditional,
[00:48.88]it is imperative that my order be received no later than the 13th.
[00:54.57]I must be ready for my flight early the next morning
[00:58.18]in order to assure that couples the world over are not disappointed.
[01:03.10]Without equipment, I am powerless and love cannot be delivered to those
[01:08.46]in need of a bit of extra incentive at this time of the year.
[01:12.50]Poets the world over have written poems and sonnets of love.
[01:17.10]Famous couples throughout the ages have depended on me
[01:21.31]to add that extra spark to their relationship
[01:24.32]that makes it more than just mere friendship.
[01:27.60]Surely you can understand that Cupid must have arrows!
[01:31.75]Each and every year, I alone am responsible for targeting the hearts of individuals
[01:38.97]and filling them with passion for a beloved.
[01:42.47]What sort of Valentine's Day will it be if Cupid cannot complete this task?
[01:48.06]I ask you, what sort of world would it be without love?
[01:52.65]If you do not have the specific superfine carbon arrow,
[01:57.35]perhaps you can substitute a graphite of equal quality.
[02:01.94]While I do have a strong preference
[02:04.79]from my many years of expertise in these matters of heart,
[02:08.28]this is an emergency and not a time to stand on principle.
[02:12.66]We are talking about love here.
[02:15.07]Providing the incentive to fall in love is serious business.
[02:19.44]While I do prefer carbon, ultra accuracy is not entirely essential,
[02:25.02]as my shot is so powerful that it is likely
[02:29.06]the unwary lover will be evoked into action even by a near center shot.
[02:35.08]Reusing old arrows is not a practical option in my particular situation.
[02:41.09]Regardless of the durability of the arrow shaft,
[02:44.59]those struck by the arrow of Cupid usually become so amorous
[02:49.40]that is almost impossible to recover the arrows.
[02:52.91]For days, weeks, or even years after,
[02:56.95]they will continue to pursue the beloved to the highest mountains,
[03:01.22]to the deepest seas, to the ends of the earth,
[03:04.17]if necessary well, you know the clichés.
[03:07.22]This phenomenon is widely documented in song and poetry.
[03:12.70]You may have felt the sting of my arrow at one time yourself.
[03:16.96]Sooner or later practically everyone in the world is struck.
[03:21.53]You see, therefore, just how essential it is that my order be filled in a timely manner.
[03:28.10]Please ship the 14 dozen arrows or an appropriate substitute at your earliest convenience.
[03:34.65]Otherwise I may be forced to refer the millions of irate lovers
[03:40.01]who will be asking why there was no Valentine's Day this year to your complaint department.
[03:45.92]Thank you for your kind attention,
[03:48.65]and I shall be waiting for your express package with my bow and quiver ready.
[03:54.12]The future of procreation is depending on you.
[03:57.74]I'm sure I can count on your cooperation.
[04:00.90]With Love,
[04:02.22]Cupid
