He was out of money and out of work. He needed money for food and rent. Where could he turn? No bank would lend him money. No relatives could lend him money. There was only one person who could help him. He called an ex-girlfriend. "Hi, this is Earl," he said. She asked, "Earl who?" He said, "Earl, your ex-boyfriend Earl." She said, "I knew that. Why are you calling me after all these years? You'd better not be calling me to borrow money." He said, "Honey, I'm totally broke. I'm desperate. You're the only person who can help me." She said, "Don't call me honey. I'm not your honey. And I'm not here to help you, moneywise or otherwise. A few years ago, I was. But you dumped me. You didn't need me then. I don't need you, or your problems, now. Good luck helping yourself." She hung up.