On Alternate Earth, all the news was about Hiram Humboldt, the world's premier engineer. He had been caught cheating on his wife—again! Hiram said, "My marriage is already toast. I love my wife, but these young, beautiful women won't leave me alone. It comes with the territory, of course. You can't be a writer, a scientist, a mathematician, an intellectual, or even a part-time community college teacher without hordes of women throwing themselves at you. It's the media's fault. They hang outside our homes. They follow us everywhere. We're always under a spotlight. It's crazy. There's nothing exciting about us. The media should focus on others—say, athletes. Maybe even actors and singers. That would take the heat off us. I'm sure they can find something interesting about athletes, actors, and singers if they dig deep enough. Maybe the women will start chasing them, and leave us intellectuals alone!"