Hi,everybody,hi.I'm so happy,this is our first week of shows.
你们好吗 我太开心了 这是节目的第一周
And I'm happy to be back,doing what I love doing with the people I love doing it to
很高兴能够回来 对我喜欢的人做我喜欢做的事
So,thank you for letting me do what I do to you
谢谢你们让我继续做我对你们做的事
In case you missed our premiere show,I didn't fly my audience to Australia
可能你错过了我们的首映秀 我没有把我的观众都送去澳大利亚
But,thanks to Ashton Kutcher,we all got to see the land down under
但是 得谢谢Ashton Kutcher 我们都见识到了下面的世界
People have been asking if Ashton was actually naked,he was wearing a nude color sock
有人怀疑Ashton是不是真的全裸了 好吧 其实他穿着一只肤色的袜子
Unfortunately it was on his foot.that's where the sock was
但不幸的是 他穿在了脚上 是的 袜子在脚上
And that was not the only scary thing that happened to me on saturday
但这并不是上周六发生的唯一一件吓人的事
Listen to this,I'm not kidding around,I got struck by lightning
听我说 我可没开玩笑 我被雷击中了
Well I didn't,but my house did.But still scary
确切的说不是我 是我的房子 但是仍然很吓人吧
I don't know if you live here in Los Angeles,any of you,but there's a warning,I was watching TV
我不知道你们当中有没有人住在洛杉矶 当时有警报 我正在看电视
and I heard the beeps.At first I thought wow Judge Judith swears a lot because
然后就听到了哔哔声 刚开始我还在想 朱迪法官可真爱飚脏话
And then it turns out the beeps were those emergency alerts
后来才发现哔哔声原来是紧急警报
and warning that thunderstorms were in Los Angeles and I've only seen the emergency alert in Los Angeles only once before
暴风雨要来了 在洛杉矶我只见过一次紧急警报
And it was a serious emergency,It was Jamba Juice who was out of wheatgrass
那可是非常严重的紧急情况 是他们在用小麦草做然巴果汁时发出的声音
