小心嫉妒者。
what is envy?
envy is best defined as an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.
嫉妒最好的解释是当一个人缺少别人的某些可观的优秀品质、成就或者拥有物时,产生的一种想要得到或者希望别人也得不到的情绪。
envy can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. if the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.
嫉妒也可能来源于因为对比上层社会而觉得自身形象受损产生的自卑心理,(嫉妒者)认为上层社会的人拥有一些他们觉得很重要的东西。如果拥有者看上去和那些嫉妒者相似,那么激起嫉妒心的人就会尤其紧张,因为他们觉得自己也(有资格)能拥有这些自己想要的东西。
bertrand russell said “envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness. it is a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but also wishes to inflict misfortune on others.”
勃兰特·拉塞尔说过:“嫉妒是不开心最主要的原因之一。它是人性中很普遍也是最不幸的一面因为它不仅使得嫉妒者不开心而且它还使嫉妒者希望不将不幸加于别人身上。”
what is jealousy?
jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. it is not to be confused with envy.
妒忌是当产生消极想法和不安全、害怕、渴望得到自己珍视的亲情、友情和爱情时的一种典型的情绪。妒忌通常包含这几种情绪:生气、伤心和厌恶。它不同于嫉妒。
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writer and speaker, jennifer james explains it this way, “jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.”
as you can see, the meanings of jealousy and envy overlap. both emotions have been associated with the color green: the common expression, green with envy and shakespeare’s words in othello, “o! beware my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-ey’d monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”
the bottom line is that both are negative feelings that can lead to unproductive and damaging behavior. if you want to live a happy, successful and satisfying life, you must be aware of and guard yourself against these destructive emotions.
becoming the best you can be
wanting a fancy car just like your neighbor’s, feeling like you should have received the company promotion rather than your co-worker, thinking that everyone around you is more financially secure, or believing that you can’t attract good friends or a marital partner are just a few examples of how jealousy and envy can play a role in our personal and professional lives.
being envious or jealous focuses on the other person’s “things” or circumstances that seem more attractive to you than yours. instead of looking at what you are lacking, look at what you have that everyone else is lacking and accept yourself for who you are.
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if you are going to live life to it’s fullest potential while enjoying the journey, you’ll need to make it a priority to develop your sense of self-worth. not only do we all look different, we are different. we all have different strengths, skills, talents, gifts and abilities that are unique to us. it is simply not reasonable to think you can have them all, nor is it necessary. each one of us has strengths and weaknesses.
my experience has taught me that the only way you will be happy is if you are happy with who you are. if you lead a life focused on comparing yourself to others, you will likely end up unhappy, unfulfilled, unloved and unsuccessful.
on the other hand, when you focus on developing your unique strengths, talents and abilities, your self-image will grow, your insecurities will fade away and you will find great fulfillment, satisfaction and enjoyment in life.
oprah winfrey said, “i was once afraid of people saying, “who does she think she is?” now i have the courage to stand and say, “this is who i am.”
my challenge
look to others for what you can learn from them, both good and bad, but never wish you were those individuals. you can compare your results to the results of another, but never compare who you are as a person to another person.
start focusing on what makes you special. look at your distinguishing traits and develop them. become the best at what you offer the world.