Please be as weird as me

Please be as weird as me

Please be as weird as me

-me every time i meet someone

每次当我遇见某个人的时候，我都会祈祷，千万要和我一样特立独行呀!

I'm worried that i may have already met the man of my dreams,but probabaly told him to fuck off.

我很担心我都已经遇见过我的Mr. Right了， 可是我或许已经叫他滚开了....

Guy i find attractive:

-Famous

-taken

-Twice my age

-Don't know i exist.

-Not Real.

吸引我的类型：有名气，会被我俘虏，岁数比我大两倍，不知道我的存在，虚幻的...

It's like boys are the oscar,and I'm the Leonardo Dicaprio.

好像男孩子都是奥斯卡奖，我就是莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥。

What if i got a boyfriend?I wouldn't know what to do ...What do they eat? How often do they have to be walked?

万一我有了男朋友怎么办?其他情侣他们都吃什么?多久出去散一次步好呢?

just because I don't have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean I'm alone.I have food and the Internet.

我不会因为没有男朋友而感到孤独，因为我有好吃的，我还可以上网。

Everything I like is either expensive, fattening or won't text me.

所有我喜欢的要么太贵，要么让我长肥，要么就是不给我发消息。

I'm single by choice.Not my choice, but still a choice.

我单身是个选择，不是我的选择，但却仍然是个选择。

Relationship status:eating.

感情状态：吃ING......

Everyone's getting a boyfriend and you know what I'm getting? Fatter.

每个人都拥有了男朋友，而我呢?只是日渐肥胖的我。

I really reallty really love My Boyfriend Cat.

我真的真的真的很爱我的男朋友(猫)。

My boyfriend is like square root of -1. Imaginary.

我的男朋友就是，-1的平方根——根本不存在。

How to get a boyfriend:

交男朋友攻略：

1.I have aboslutely no idea.

2. cry

1、我也不知道。

2、哭。

Who am i shaving for?

女为知己者容，我呢?

Dear future husband, i hope you're a good cook.

我亲爱的未来老公啊，但愿你会是个优秀的厨师~

轻松学

Better late than never.

迟到总比不到好。

A: You're twenty minutes late for everything, it seems.

似乎每件事你都会慢二十分钟。

B: Calm down. Better late than never.

冷静点。迟到总比不到好。

(每天学一条，赞一下)