给你10个理由，让你不要在乎别人对你的看法。想让别人欣赏和接纳自己，这是人的本性。我们安于现状，因为身边的人也这样。为了让别人喜欢我们，我们活得小心翼翼。最终，他人对我们的看法，塑造了我们的行为，我们的外貌，我们的生活。然而，其实，他人对我们的看法，往往会对我们的决定和我们做的事情产生负面影响。既想迎合他人，又想追求独立幸福的生活，这两者本来就是互相矛盾的。
Number 1 - Your life is your business. How many times have you pondered over questions like: How are these clothes going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I speak out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me? Look, People are entitled to think whatever they want. Just as you are entitled to think whatever you want! What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to. This is your life to live. At the end of the day, you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices. Well, unless of course if you're married. That's a whole other topic!
第一，你的生活你做主。你是不是经常在想，我穿这个衣服看起来怎样？如果我说出自己的看法，同事们会怎么看我？那些人是不是在背后说我的坏话？如果我选择了这份工作，朋友和家人会怎么看我？别人怎么想，是别人的自由。同理，你怎么想，是你的自由。只要你的立场坚定，那么，别人对你的看法就无法改变你，无法改变你的价值。这是你的生活，毕竟，真正需要认可你的选择的人，只有你自己。但要是你结了婚，那就是另外一回事了。
Number 2 - They don't know what's best for you. It's important to recognize that another person's opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, may not be the best for you. Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. So only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions and taking full responsibility for them. This way, if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.
第二，别人不知道什么才是对你最好的。很重要的一点是，你要明白，他人的想法，来源于他们的经验，这本身就是个问题，因为对别人而言最好的东西，对你而言不一定就是最好的。你为你的人生付出了最多的努力，所以你才知道什么是对你最好的，这就意味着你要从自己的选择中吸取经验。你成长的唯一途径，就是自己做决定，并为这些决定负责。这样，就算你失败了，起码你能真正从失败中学到经验，而不是去怪罪别人。
Number 3 - People's thoughts change. We all have an internal story that influences how we treat other people and what we think at any given moment. But, our thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis! This means, even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people's thoughts don't mean shit! And that's a pretty darn good reason to stop caring about what other people think!
第三，人们的想法会改变。我们如何对待他人，我们有什么想法，这与我们过往的经历有关。但是，我们的想法经常会改变。这意味着，如果某个人不太喜欢你，很有可能他以后会改变主意。所以，别人的想法根本不重要，你根本不需要在乎别人怎么想。
Number 4 - You will be much happier. You'll find that when you start focusing on your own needs, you'll be spending more time doing things that make you happy. This self-awareness will make you a more rounded individual. It will allow you to better manage your time and give you space to have fun. As a result, you will actually improve the way that people perceive you – and this of course will make you even happier.
第四，你会更加快乐。当你开始专注于自己的需求时，你会发现，你会做更多可以让自己开心的事情，这种自我意识让你变得更成熟，让你合理安排自己的实践，让你能够适当放松娱乐。因此，别人对你的看法也会变得更积极，这会让你更加快乐。
Number 5 - Your relationships will improve. Try putting yourself first, in more situations. This way, in relationships, you will have a much stronger base to explain what you will and won't do. The ability to set boundaries effectively will give you the ability to say no - and mean it. Instead of taking on every request, you'll only do the things that make you happy and this will give you more energy and a better reputation for being reliable. These things will make your relationships with other people much healthier in the long run.
第五，你的人际关系会改善。多尝试把自己放在第一位，这样，在人际关系中，你会有更多主动权，你想做或不想做什么事，都是合理的。划清边界的能力会让你能够拒绝他人，而且说到做到。与其答应别人所有的请求，还不如只做那些能让你开心的事，这样你会得到更多的能量，也会得到别人的称赞，因为他们觉得你很靠谱。从长远来看，这些事情会让你的人际关系变得更健康。
Number 6 - It's good for your career. Think about this for a second. Who are the people who climb the management and leadership ladders at work? It's usually those who are more self-serving. When someone puts their own needs first, they are more likely to set goals and to strive to meet those goals. They're also less likely to be apologetic about their drive, and as a result, they are much more likely to seek a promotion and ask for a raise. While leaders and managers have to take care of the people around them, they also have to take care of themselves. And if you can't take care of yourself, it's unlikely you'll be very good at taking care of others.
第六，这对你的事业有好处。想一下，做管理的，当领导的，都是哪些人？通常就是那些懂得为自己服务的人。只要人们把自己的需求放在第一位，他们就更有可能定下目标，并朝着目标努力。他们有雄心壮志，而且不会因此感到不好意思。因此，他们更有可能升职，或者要求加薪。领导和管理者需要关注他们身边的人，同时他们也需要照顾自己的需求。如果你不懂照顾自己的需求，那么你也无法关注到身边的人。
Number 7 - Others don't care as much as you think. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is, those people are thinking the exact same thing. In fact, people generally don't think outside themselves a great deal of time. The average person filters their world through their ego. We simply think about most things in terms of me or mine. This means that, unless who you are or what you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all.
第七，你以为别人很在乎你，其实不然。每一天，我们都在想，别人觉得我怎么样？然而，其实，他们和你一样在纠结这个问题。事实上，多数情况下，人们心中想的只有他们自己。普通人的世界，是以自我为中心的。无论遇到什么事情，我们都是从自己的角度出发去考虑。这就意味着，除非你或者你做的事情对他人有影响，否则别人根本不会想起你。
Number 8 - You'll never please everyone. You cannot please all of the people, all of the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone's expectations, so there's really no point in burning yourself out trying to do so. It's better to be loved by a few people that you care about, than to be liked by everyone. These people include, family, friends and your spouse, basically the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people, because they're the people that matter the most.
第八，你不可能让所有人都满意。你不可能总是让所有人都满意，不可能总是满足所有人的期待，所以你没有必要竭尽全力去迎合别人。你在乎的人爱你，这比让所有人都喜欢你更重要。你在乎的人，包括你的家人，朋友，爱人，那些爱你的人，那些在你人生失意时还能伴你左右的人。把你的注意力放在这些人身上，因为他们才是最重要的。
Number 9 - You reap what you sow. Worrying too much about what other people think can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the way we think starts to become the way we behave. And the behavior we use in an attempt to please others, can actually cause the opposing effect! This means that if you're a push-over, then you're going to be attracting others in your life who are also push-overs. And vice versa. Being a people-pleaser is not going to stop you from being judged. Most people don't like push-overs, but, at the same time, they don't like arrogant assholes either. In the end, it is you who faces the consequences of the things you do. Both good and bad.
第九，种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆。总是太在乎别人对你的看法，会让你真的为了迎合他人而努力，因为，我们怎么想，决定了我们怎么做。那些为了取悦他人而做的事情，其实可能会适得其反。这就意味着，如果你是个软柿子，那么你也会吸引软柿子，反之亦然。讨好别人是没用的，别人该怎么想还是怎么想。大多数人不喜欢软柿子，但是，同时，他们也不喜欢狂妄自大的人。毕竟，无论结果是好事坏，你都要面对。
Number 10 - Life is simply too short. You only have one life to live, so why would you spend it worrying about other people's opinions? Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. Live your life without worrying about other people's thoughts and opinions, and you will live your life to the fullest. Remember, you are allowed to make decisions that are in the interest of your life, even when others don't approve. You really can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn. And once you give up catering to other people's opinion and thoughts, you will find out who you truly are. The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don't give a crap are the ones that change the world.
第十，生命很短。你只活这么一次，为什么你要在乎别人的看法？做你想做的事，成为你想成为的人。好好经营自己的生活，不要在意别人的看法，你才能尽情地享受自己的生活。记住，从自己的利益出发，做自己的决定，这是你的自由，别人反对你也没用。努力让自己做到不在乎别人的看法，这是你能做到的。一旦你停止迎合别人的想法，你就会找到真实的自己。这个世界上，有很多安于现状的人。然而，只有那些心无旁骛的人，才能改变世界。
Now it's up to you to choose which way you want to go!
想走哪条路？你自己决定吧！
