我知道
I know.
我以前从没见过他那个样子
I've never seen him like that before.
偏偏是昨天晚上
And last night of all nights,
只剩下我们自己
when there were only ourselves here -
你看 查尔斯
you see, Charles,
我完全把你当作自家人
I think of you very much as one of ourselves.
塞巴斯蒂安爱你
Sebastian loves you -
在你面前
when there was no need
他不需要努力装作快乐
for him to make an effort to be happy,
而他并不快乐
and he wasn't happy.
我昨晚几乎没睡着
I slept very little last night,
我一直回想一件事
and all the time, I kept coming back
他有多么不快乐
to that one thing: How unhappy he was.
这太可怕了
It was horrible.
请不要觉得他惯常这样
But please don't think that's his usual way.
桑格拉斯先生告诉我
Mr. Samgrass tells me
整个上学期 他都喝得很多
he was drinking too much all last term.
是的 但不像那样 从未有过
Yes, but not like that. Never before.
那为什么现在会这样 在这里
Then why now? Here?
和我们在一起
With us?
一整夜 我都在思考 祈祷
All night, I have been thinking and praying
想着要对他说什么
and wondering what to say to him,
而现在 今天早上 他甚至不在这里
and now, this morning, he isn't here at all.
他好残忍 一句话都没说就走了
That was cruel of him, leaving without a word.
我不想让他觉得羞愧
I don't want him to be ashamed.
是羞愧让他做这么多错事
It's being ashamed that makes it so wrong of him.
他是为不快乐而羞愧
But he's ashamed of being unhappy.
桑格拉斯先生告诉我 他很吵 兴致很高
Mr. Samgrass tells me he is noisy and high-spirited.
我相信 你和他狠狠捉弄了桑格拉斯先生
I believe you and he tease Mr. Samgrass rather.
你们真淘气
It's very naughty of you.
我很喜欢桑格拉斯先生
I'm very fond of Mr. Samgrass.
你们也应该喜欢
And you should be too,
毕竟他为你们做了那么多
after all he's done for you.
尽管如此 我想 如果我是个男人 在你们的年纪
All the same, I think if I were your age and a man,
我可能也会有点想
I might be just a little inclined
捉弄桑格拉斯先生
to tease Mr. Samgrass myself.
不 我不介意那个
No, I don't mind that.
但昨晚和今早 又是完全不同的事
But last night and this morning were something quite different.
你看 这一切都曾发生过
You see, it's all happened before.
呃 我只能说我以前看到过他喝醉
Well, I can only say that I've seen him drunk often,
我经常跟他一起喝醉
and I've been drunk with him often,
昨晚(的情况)我第一次见到
and last night was quite new to me.
我不是说塞巴斯蒂安
I don't mean with Sebastian.
我是说很多年前
I mean years ago.
我曾经跟另一个我爱的人 经历过这一切
I've been through it all before with someone else whom I loved.
嗯 你一定知道我说的是谁 他父亲
Well, you must know who I mean, with his father.
他过去常常像那样喝醉
He used to get drunk in just that way.
有人告诉我 他现在不是这样了
Someone told me he's not like that anymore.
我向上帝祈祷这是真的
I pray God it is true,
如果是真的 我全心全意感谢上帝
and I thank God for it with all my heart if it is.
但溜走
But the running away...
他也是溜走的 你知道吗
He ran away too, you know?
就是你刚才说的那样
It was as you said just now.
他是为不快乐而羞愧
He was ashamed of being unhappy.
他们两个都不快乐 羞愧 然后溜走了
Both of them unhappy, ashamed, and running away.
这太可悲了
It's too pitiful.
和我一起长大的兄弟们就不是这样
The men I grew up with were not like that.
我就是不能理解
I simply don't understand it.
你能吗 查尔斯
Do you, Charles?
一点点
Only very little.
塞巴斯蒂安喜欢你
And yet Sebastian is fonder of you
胜过我们任何人 你知道吗
than any of us, you know?
你得帮帮他 我帮不了
You've got to help him. I can't.
呃 如果我要赶上火车
Well, if I'm going to catch my train...
告诉我 你有没有看过我弟弟的纪念册
Tell me, have you read my brother's book?
刚刚印出来
It's just come out.
看过了 我在塞巴斯蒂安房间里翻过一遍
Yes, I glanced through it in Sebastian's room.
我想让你也有一本
I should like you to have a copy.
我能给你一本吗
May I give you one?
他们三个都是非常好的人
They were three splendid men.
奈德是最厉害的
Ned was the best of them.
他是最后一个牺牲的
He was the last to be killed,
电报传来的时候 我早有预感
and when the telegram came, as I knew it would come,
我对自己说 “现在轮到我儿子
I said to myself, "Now it's my son's turn
去完成奈德的未竟之业了”
to do what Ned can never do now."
那时我很孤独 他正要去上伊顿公学
I was alone then. He was just going to Eton.
如果你看了奈德的纪念册 你会理解的
If you read Ned's book, you'll understand.
她的书桌上就有一本纪念册
She had a copy lying ready on her bureau.
当时我想
I thought at the time,
“她在我进来之前 就计划好了这些”
"She planned this parting before ever I came in."
她有没有彩排过所有的对话
Had she rehearsed all the interview?
如果事情进展不同
If things had gone differently,
她会把纪念册放回抽屉里吗
would she have put the book back in the drawer?
谢谢你
Thank you.
昨晚 我也为你祈祷了
I prayed for you too, in the night.
去吧 你要错过火车了
Go on. You'll miss your train.
我不是傻瓜
I was no fool.
我足够年长
I was old enough to know
知道她努力想收买我
that an attempt had been made to suborn me
又足够年轻 觉得这是可以接受的
and young enough to have found the experience agreeable.
你会见到塞巴斯蒂安吗
Will you be seeing Sebastian?
是的 当然
Yes, of course.
拜托 你能带给他 我特别的爱吗
Please, will you give him my special love?
你能记住吗 我特别的爱
Will you remember? My special love.
我不会忘记的
I won't forget.
—再见 查尔斯 —再见
-Bye, Charles. -Bye.
黑特 我父亲在吗
Hayter, is my father in?
不在 他一早就出门了
No, he went out early.
塞巴斯蒂安爵爷到了
Lord Sebastian has arrived.
很好 他在哪里
Good. Where is he?
查尔斯 你好
Charles! How are you?
我等你好几个小时了
I've been waiting for you for hours.
你怎么耽搁了
What kept you?
我很高兴你在这里
I'm so glad you're here.
—有人照顾你吗 —嗯哼
-Are you being looked after? -Mmhmm.
一切都好吗
Is everything all right?
非常快乐 黑特
Blissful. Hayter?
对了 在我忘记之前
By the way, before I forget,
科迪莉娅让我带给你她特别的爱
Cordelia sends her special love.
你跟妈咪进行小聊天了吗
Did you have your little talk with Mummy?
是的
Yes.
你站到她那一边去了吗
Have you gone over to her side?
没有 我和你站在一边
No, I'm with you.
“塞巴斯蒂安 对抗全世界” [拉丁语]
"Sebastian contra mundum."
很好 给我找点喝的吧
Good. Then you'll find me a drink.
啊
Ah.
哼 我不知道能不能找到
Well, I don't know whether I am going to be able to.
但阴影笼罩在塞巴斯蒂安周围
But the shadows were closing round Sebastian.
我们回到牛津
We returned to Oxford,
又一次 紫罗兰开花了
and once again, the gillyflowers bloomed
在我学院的窗户下面
under my college windows,
栗子树点缀着街道
and the chestnut lit the streets,
温暖的石头碎片
and the warm stones
散落在鹅卵石路面上
strewed their flakes upon the cobble.
但这又和从前不同
But it was not as it had been.
塞巴斯蒂安的心中已是隆冬
There was midwinter in Sebastian's heart.
随着一周周过去
The weeks went by,
我们寻找着下学期的住处
and we looked for lodgings for the coming term
在莫顿大街找到了一间
and found them in Merton Street,
靠近网球场的小房子
a secluded, expensive little house