7. NEWLAND IN BOSTON

The next day Newland told May he was going to see about buying a new horse for her carriage, and drove north to Portsmouth. He found the Blenkers' house, but Ellen was not there. The Blenkers told him she had received a telegram the day before, and gone to Boston, where she would be staying at the Parker House Hotel.

When he returned to Newport, he told May he had urgent business in Boston. He was ashamed of the way he was able to lie so easily, but it had to be done. He travelled all night, by boat and train, and arrived in a hot and dirty midsummer Boston.

After having breakfast at a hotel, he sent a messenger to the Parker House Hotel with a note for Countess Olenska. The man returned after ten minutes. 'The lady was out, sir,' he said.

It must be a mistake!' thought Newland. 'How could she be out so early? How stupid of me not to send a note earlier!'

He went out, and as he started to walk across the park towards Ellen's hotel, he saw her, sitting on a bench under a tree. Her head was bent low, and she looked quite miserable. He came a step nearer, and she turned and saw him.

Oh!' she said, her face breaking into a slow smile of wonder and happiness, and she made room for him on the bench.

I'm here on business – just got here,' Newland explained. 'But what on earth are you doing here?' He had really no idea what he was saying; he seemed to be shouting to her across endless distances; he thought she might disappear again before he could reach her.

I'm here on business too,' she answered.

You do your hair differently now,' he said, his heart beating wildly as he looked at her.

Differently? No, it's the best I can do without my servant.'

You didn't bring her? You're staying alone at the hotel?'

She looked at him, with a little challenging smile in her eyes. 'Does that seem so dangerous to you?'

No, not dangerous, but—'

But unusual? I see, I suppose it is. I hadn't thought of it, because I've just done something so much more unusual.' Her eyes still watched him with a little challenge. 'I've just refused to take back some money – which belonged to me.'

Newland jumped up and moved a step or two away. Then he came back and stood in front of her.

Someone – has come here to meet you – with this offer?'

Yes.'

And you refused, because of the conditions?'

I refused,' she said after a moment.

He sat down by her again. 'What were the conditions?'

Oh, they were not demanding. Just to sit at the head of his dinner table now and then.'

There was another silence. Newland was searching for the right words. 'He wants you back – at any price.'

A considerable price. At least, it's considerable for me.'

You came to Boston in order to meet him?'

She stared, and then laughed. 'Meet him – my husband? Here? He spends his summers in more fashionable places.'

He sent someone to you, with a letter?'

Not a letter, just a message. He hardly ever writes to me.'

Newland blushed, thinking of the accusation in the only letter he knew the Count had written to her. 'Why is that?'

Why should he write? What are secretaries for?'

The young man's blush deepened, and he was about to ask, 'Did he send his secretary, the one you ran away with?' But he stopped, in order to spare Ellen the embarrassment of replying.

The messenger has insisted on waiting until this evening,' added Madame Olenska, smiling, 'in case I change my mind.'

And you came out here to think things over?'

I came out for a breath of air. The hotel's too hot. I'm taking the afternoon train back to Portsmouth.'

They sat silent, not looking at each other. Finally she turned her eyes again to his face and said, 'You've not changed.'

He felt like saying, 'I had, until I saw you again,' but instead he stood up suddenly and looked round at the untidy park.

This is horrible. Why don't we go out in a boat? It will be cooler on the water. We could take the boat to Point Arley and back.' She looked up at him hesitatingly and he went on, 'There won't be many people on the boat. My train for New York doesn't leave until the evening. Why shouldn't we?' Suddenly he broke out, 'Haven't we done all we can?'

Oh!' she whispered. 'You mustn't say things like that to me.'

I'll say anything you like; or nothing. What harm can it do to anybody? All I want is to listen to you.'

She took a little gold watch from her pocket.

Oh, don't think about time!' he cried. 'Give me the day! Come now, at once! It's a hundred years since we last met – it may be another hundred before we meet again.'

Her anxious eyes were on his face. 'Why didn't you come down to the beach to fetch me, the day I was at Grandmother's?'

Because you didn't look round. I wanted you to look round.' He laughed at the childishness of his behaviour.

But I deliberately didn't look round. I knew it was you. I recognized your carriage when you drove up to the house. So I went down to the beach.'

To get away from me as far as you could?'

She repeated softly, 'To get away from you as far as I could.'

He laughed again. 'Well, you see it's no use. I may as well tell you that I came here to find you. And I have found you. But look here, we must start or we'll miss our boat.'

They went back to the hotel, so that Madame Olenska could leave a note for the messenger. While Newland waited for her, he watched the stream of people passing in and out of the hotel. 'They all look so like each other,' he thought. And then suddenly came a face which was different from the rest – the face of a young man, pale with heat, or worry, or both. 'Probably a foreign businessman,' thought Newland, and then forgot about him.

When she came out, they took a taxi to the harbour, and were soon on a boat moving smoothly out into the open sea. As they left the city behind them, it seemed to Newland they were leaving their old familiar world behind as well. Were they starting on some voyage from which they might never return? He was afraid to ask Madame Olenska if she felt the same – she trusted him to remain calm and not speak of his feelings. There had been days and nights when the memory of their kiss had burned on his lips, and the thought of her had run through him like fire. But now that she was beside him, they seemed to have reached the kind of deeper nearness that a touch or a word might destroy.

When they arrived at Point Arley, the hotel dining room was full of a noisy party of school-teachers on holiday, so Newland asked for a private room, with a view over the sea. There he and Madame Olenska sat down to their lunch, like two old friends who had so much to say to each other...

They talked of all that had happened in the year and a half since they had met. They talked of ideas and social changes, the narrow minds of New Yorkers, and the reasons why she had decided to move to Washington.

There are more varieties of people and of opinion there,' she said. 'Our New York friends seem to follow blindly the old ideas from England. But it seems stupid to have discovered America only to make it into a copy of another country.'

Ah, it's what I've always told you,' said Newland sadly. 'You don't like us. We're dull. We've no character, no colour. I wonder,' he broke out, 'why you don't go back to him?'

Her eyes darkened, and he expected an angry reply. But she sat in silent thought, and he grew frightened that she might answer that she wondered too.

At last she said, 'I believe it's because of you.'

I believe it's because of you,' said Ellen Olenska.

Newland reddened, but dared not move or speak.

At least,' she continued, 'it was you who made me understand that under the dullness there are things so fine and sensitive that even those I most cared for in my other life look cheap by comparison. For a long time I've hoped this chance would come – so that I could tell you how you've helped me, what you've made of me...'

Newland broke in with a laugh. 'And what do you think you've made of me? I'm the man who married one woman because another woman told him to.'

I thought – you promised – not to say such things!'

Ah – how like a woman! None of you will accept a bad situation, or do anything about it!'

Is it a bad situation – for May?' she asked in a low voice. 'Because that's what we've always got to think of, isn't it? That's what you've shown me.'

I've shown you?' he echoed, looking blindly out at the sea.

If it's not worthwhile,' she said painfully, 'to have given up our wishes, to save other people from misery, then everything I came home for, everything you've taught me, everything that makes my other life look so poor because no one there bothers about it – all these things are a pretence or a dream...'

And if it's not worthwhile,' he finished for her, 'there's no reason on earth why you shouldn't go back?'

Her eyes stared desperately into his. 'Oh, is there no reason?'

Not if you were hoping for the success of my marriage,' he said fiercely. 'My marriage is certainly not worth staying for. Well, what do you expect? You let me see a real life, just for a moment, and at the same time asked me to go on with a false one. It's more than any human being can bear – that's all.'

Oh, don't say that – when I'm bearing it!' she burst out, her eyes filling with tears.

Newland sat dumbly, staring at her. 'You too – oh, all this time, you too?' She did not answer, but let the tears run down her face. He was thinking, with a strange sort of happiness, 'Now I shall never again feel completely alone.'

But after a moment he was in despair again. There they were, close together, yet so tied to their separate lives that they might as well be half a world apart.

What's the use – when you will go back?' he cried out.

She sat without moving. 'Oh, I won't go yet!'

Not yet? Some time, then? Some time in the future?'

At that she gave him her clearest look. 'I promise you, not as long as you can bear it. Not as long as we can look straight at each other like this.'

He turned to look out at the sea again. What her answer really said was, 'If you lift a finger, you'll drive me back to all the horrors you know of, and all the temptations you half guess.' The thought kept him to his side of the table, safely away from her.

What a life for you!' he cried.

Oh, it's bearable – as long as it's a part of yours.'

And as long as mine's a part of yours?'

Yes.'

And that's to be all – for either of us?'

Well, it is all, isn't it?'

At that he jumped up, forgetting everything but the sweetness of her face. She stood up too, and their hands met. They stood in that way for a long time, looking deep into each other's eyes, reading each other's hearts.

Don't – don't be unhappy,' she said, with a break in her voice, as she drew her hands away.

And he answered, 'You won't go back – you won't go back?'

I won't go back,' she said.

In silence they took the boat back to Boston harbour, and Newland left Madame Olenska at the Parker House Hotel.

The next morning he arrived back in New York, to start work again, as he had told May he would do. Although he had not even managed to kiss Madame Olenska's hand or persuade her to meet him again, he felt surprisingly calm. He realized he must not tempt her to come closer to him, or she would simply return to her husband. He was determined to wait, and trust her to decide when they could meet again.

On the way to his office he recognized the young man that he had seen coming out of the Parker House Hotel. The man recognized him at the same moment, and came over to shake his hand.

Surely, Monsieur, we met at the Carfrys'?' said the foreigner.

Ah, yes! Monsieur Rivière!' said Newland. 'What are you doing in New York? Come and have lunch with me.'

The young Frenchman thanked him, but asked if he could instead call on Newland at his office that afternoon. They agreed a time, and Newland gave him directions.

When Monsieur Rivière arrived, he looked pale and serious. He explained that he had been sent to Boston with a message from his employer for the Countess Olenska.

The blood rushed to Newland's face. 'In other words, you are Count Olenski's messenger?'

That is true, but this is my own message I am bringing you. You may not know, Monsieur, that Madame Olenska's family are trying to persuade her to return to her husband.'

Good God!' cried Newland. He sat in silent shock, realizing he had been cut out of the family's discussions. Somehow, they must know he was no longer on their side. He remembered May saying recently that Ellen might be happier with her husband, and his angry reply. May had not spoken Ellen's name since then.

He stared at the Frenchman. 'I didn't know,' he said.

Exactly, Monsieur. And I beg you... I beg you – Don't let her go back!' The Frenchman spoke with desperate sincerity.

May I ask if you advised the Countess not to go back?'

The Frenchman reddened. 'No, Monsieur, I gave her the Count's message as I had been ordered to do. But after talking to her, I realized that she has changed. Monsieur, her life with him now would be unbearable. I worked for the Count for many years, and returned to his employment only recently – but I promise you, I shall never work for him again!'

Thank you,' said Newland simply. Both men were very moved. They shook hands, and Monsieur Rivière left the office.

midsummer n. the middle of a summer 仲夏

messenger n. someone whose job is to deliver messages or documents, or someone who takes a message to someone else 信使，使者

on business in the process of doing things as a part of your job 因事，因公

considerable adj. fairly large, especially large enough to have an effect or be important 相当大的

embarrassment n. the feeling you have when you are embarrassed 尴尬

in case as a way of being safe from something that might happen or might be true 以防万一

trust v. to have confidence in someone 信任

echo v. to repeat what someone else has just said 重复（他人的话）

painfully adv. with pain or causing pain 痛苦地

bear v. to suffer pain or unhappiness 忍受

might as well used to say that the effect of an action or situation is the same as if it was another one 倒不如

bearable adj. something that is bearable is difficult or unpleasant, but you can deal with it 可以忍受的

surprisingly adv. unusually or unexpectedly 使人惊奇地

direction n. instructions about how to get from one place to another （行路）指引

somehow adv. in some way, or by some means, although you do not know how 不知怎么

sincerity n. the quality showed when someone is sincere and really means what they are saying 真诚

employment n. the act of paying someone to work for you 雇用

7. 纽兰在波士顿

第二天，纽兰告诉梅，他要去为她的马车物色一匹新马，然后驱车北上前往普茨茅斯。他找到布伦克斯家，不过埃伦不在那儿。布伦克斯家的人告诉他，前一天埃伦收到一封电报，然后去了波士顿，她会住在帕克旅馆。

他回到纽波特之后，对梅说他在波士顿有紧急公务要处理。他为自己能够如此轻而易举地撒谎感到羞愧，可又不得不那么做。他整夜在赶路，又是乘船又是坐火车，终于来到仲夏时节炎热而肮脏的波士顿。

在旅馆吃过早餐后，他吩咐信使去帕克旅馆给奥兰斯卡伯爵夫人送一封便函。十分钟后，信使回来跟他说，“那位女士出去了，先生。”

“一定是弄错了！”纽兰想，“这么早她怎么会出去呢？我真傻，怎么没有早点给她送信！”

他出了门，刚要穿过公园去埃伦住的旅馆时，看见她正坐在树下的长凳上。她低垂着头，看上去十分痛苦。他又向前迈了一步，她转过头看到了他。

“哦！”她说，脸上慢慢绽放出惊喜的笑容。她挪了挪身子，在长凳上给他空出了位置。

“我来这儿办公事——刚刚到的。”纽兰解释说，“可你究竟在这里做什么呢？”他实际上不知道自己在说些什么；他仿佛是在很遥远的地方朝她叫喊；他觉得只要靠近她，她便会再次消失。

“我也是来办公事。”她回答。

“你的发型变了。”他说，看着她的时候心里怦怦乱跳。

“发型不同吗？没有，这是我自己梳的。用人不在身边，我只能尽力而为。”

“你没有把她带上吗？你一个人住在旅馆？”

她看着他，眼里露出一丝挑衅的笑意。“在你看来，就那么危险吗？”

“不，不是危险，只不过——”

“不过是不合常规？我明白了，我想也是吧。我没有想过这一点，因为我刚刚做了一件更加不合常规的事。”她的眼神依旧略带挑衅，“我刚刚拒绝拿回一笔钱——一笔属于我的钱。”

纽兰跳起来，后退了一两步，接着又回来站在她跟前。

“有人——来这儿见你了——带着这个提议？”

“是的。”

“而你拒绝了，因为对方所提的条件？”

“我拒绝了。”片刻之后她说。

他又坐到她身旁。“条件是什么？”

“哦，要求并不高，只是偶尔在他的餐桌首位坐坐。”

又是一阵沉默，纽兰在思考恰当的措词。“他想让你回去——不惜任何代价。”

“很高的代价。至少对我来说是巨额。”

“你来波士顿是为了见他？”

她瞪大眼睛，接着笑起来。“见他——我丈夫？在这里？夏季他会到更受欢迎的地方度过。”

“他派了一个人来，带来一封信？”

“不是一封信，只是一个口讯。他几乎从来不给我写信。”

纽兰知道伯爵曾给她写过一封信，想起信中的那些指责，他不禁面色通红。“那是为什么？”

“他干吗要写？要秘书是做什么的？”

年轻人的脸更红了，他差一点就要问：“他是派秘书来的吗？就是和你逃走的那个秘书？”不过他忍住了，以免埃伦为了要回答问题而觉得尴尬。

“那位信使坚持要等到傍晚，”奥兰斯卡夫人笑着补充说，“以防万一我改变了主意。”

“那么你出来就是为了仔细考虑这件事情？”

“我出来是为了透透气。旅馆里太闷热了。我准备乘下午的火车回普茨茅斯。”

他们默默无语地坐着，谁都没看对方。最后，她把目光转回到他的脸上，说：“你没有变。”

他很想说：“我变了，是因为再次见到你，才让我变回从前的自己。”但最终却猛地站起来，打量着公园周围脏乱的环境。

“这里太糟糕了。我们为何不坐船出去逛逛？在水面上会凉快一些。我们可以乘船去趟阿利角，然后再回来。”她抬起头望着他，有些迟疑。他接着说：“船上不会有多少人的。我回纽约的火车傍晚才开。我们干吗不去呢？”突然他又冒出一句：“难道我们不是已经做了我们能做的一切了吗？”

“哦！”她小声叫起来，“你千万别对我说那些事了。”

“你喜欢什么我就说什么，或者干脆什么都不说。这又能伤害谁呢？我只想听你说话。”

她从口袋里取出一只小金表。

“啊，不要考虑时间！”他叫道，“把今天给我吧！现在就来，立刻就来！我们上次见面，已经是一百年前的事了——也许要再过一百年我们才能重逢。”

她看着他的脸，目光焦虑。“我在奶奶家那天，你为什么不来海滩接我？”

“因为你没回头，我想要你自己回头。”他为自己这种孩子气的行为笑了起来。

“可我是故意不回头的，我知道是你。你们驾车来家里的时候，我认出了你的马车，所以我去了海边。”

“为了尽可能地远离我？”

她柔声重复道：“为了尽可能地远离你。”

他又笑了起来。“哦，你知道，那是没用的。我还可以告诉你，我来这儿就是为了找你，而且我找到你了。不过你瞧，我们得动身了，要不然会误了船的。”

他们回到旅馆，这样奥兰斯卡夫人可以给信使留个便条。纽兰一边等她，一边注视着络绎不绝的人在旅馆进进出出。“他们全都长得如此相似。”他想。这时，突然出现了一张与众不同的面孔——一张年轻男人的脸。那张脸显得苍白，可能是因为炎热或焦虑，或者两者皆有。“也许是一个外国商人。”纽兰心想，接着就把他忘掉了。

她从旅馆出来后，他们乘坐出租马车前往码头，很快就登上了一艘船，平稳地驶向一望无际的大海。船只逐渐驶离城市，纽兰觉得过去熟悉的世界也跟他们渐离渐远。他们是否踏上了一去不返的航程？他不敢去问奥兰斯卡夫人是否与他有同样的感觉——她相信他会保持镇定，不说出他的感受。他们亲吻的记忆曾日日夜夜地灼烧着他的双唇，对她的思念像火般灼遍他全身。然而此刻她在他身旁，他们的亲近仿佛到了另一种境界，只消一言一动就会破坏这种气氛。

他们来到阿利角后，发现旅馆的餐厅吵吵嚷嚷，挤满了一群前来度假的教师，于是纽兰要了一个可以观海景的包间。他和奥兰斯卡夫人在那里坐下来吃午餐，就像两个有太多话要互相倾诉的老朋友……

他们谈论自他们相遇之后一年半时间里发生的一切，谈论各种见解和社交界的变化，纽约人的狭隘观念，还谈了她决定搬往华盛顿的原因。

“那里有更多类型的人，以及更多类型的观点。”她说，“我们纽约的朋友们好像都盲从英格兰的陈旧观念。可是，如果发现美洲大陆只是为了把它变成另外一个国家的翻版，那似乎是很愚蠢的。”

“啊，这就是我一直对你所说的。”纽兰难过地说。“你不喜欢我们。我们单调乏味，没有个性，没有特色。可我很疑惑，”他脱口而出，“你为什么不回到他身边去呢？”

她的眼神黯淡下来，而他等待着她愤怒的回应。然而，她坐着一声不吭，陷入了思考。他开始害怕了，唯恐她说她也感到疑惑。

终于，她开口说：“我想是因为你的缘故。”

纽兰的脸涨得通红，可他不敢动，也不敢开口说话。

“至少，”她接着说，“是你让我明白，在刻板沉闷的背后还有那么美好而体贴的人和事，这让我在另一种生活中最喜爱的事物也相形见绌。长久以来，我都希望有这样一次机会——好让我告诉你，你给了我怎样的帮助，你令我有了怎样的改变……”

纽兰笑了一声，打断了她的话：“可你知道你怎样改变了我吗？我娶了一个女人，是因为另一个女人要我这么做。”

“我想——你答应过——不讲这些事情！”

“啊——真是十足的女人啊！你们这些女人既不愿接受糟糕的局面，也不愿为此做点儿什么！”

“那真是糟糕的局面吗——对梅来说？”她低声问，“因为这正是我们一直得考虑的事情，不是吗？你自己的表现也是如此。”

“我自己的表现？”他重复道，眼睛茫然地望着大海。

她痛苦地说：“如果我们不值得为了让他人免受痛苦而放弃自己的希望，那么我回家来所为的一切，你教给我的一切，让我的另一种生活因为无人关心而显得如此可悲的一切——这所有的一切都是虚伪或者梦幻……”

“如果是不值得，”他替她接着说，“那你就完全没有理由不回去了吗？”

她神色绝望地盯着他说：“噢，真的是没有理由吗？”

“没有，如果你希望我的婚姻幸福美满，”他激动地说，“你肯定不值得为了我的婚姻而留下。那么，你期待发生什么呢？你才让我见识了真正的生活不久，却同时又要求我继续过虚伪的生活。这是任何人都无法忍受的——我说完了。”

“啊，别那么说——我也在忍受着啊！”她叫道，眼里噙满了泪水。

纽兰呆呆地坐在那儿，凝望着她。“你也——噢，这些日子，你也在忍受吗？”她没有回答，而是任由眼泪顺着脸颊流淌下来。他思索着，内心有一种奇特的愉悦感。“我再也不会感到完完全全的孤独了。”

但过了一会儿，他再次陷入绝望。他们虽然人在这儿，靠得很近，然而却被各自的生活束缚着，跟隔着半个世界没有分别。

“这有什么用处呢——既然你要回去？”他大声说。

她坐着没有动。“哦，我现在还不会走呢！”

“还不会？那么，到某个时间就走？将来的某个时间？”

听到这里，她用最清澈的眼神望着他，说道：“我答应你，只要你能坚持住，只要我们能像现在这样正视对方，我就不走。”

他再一次转过头望着大海。她的回答实际上是说：“只要你抬一根手指头，就会把我赶回旧时的生活去，你知道那种日子有多让人厌恶，而那些诱惑你不过只猜到部分。”这个念头让他坐在桌子这一边，与她保持着安全距离。

“这对你来说会是怎样的一种生活啊！”他叫道。

“哦，这种生活我可以忍受——只要它属于你生活的一部分。”

“只要我的生活也属于你生活的一部分？”

“是的。”

“而这就是全部——对我们两人来说？”

“对，这就是全部，不是吗？”

听到这里，他跳起来，除了她甜美的脸庞，他什么都不记得了。她也站起身来，两人的手握在一起。他们就那样站了很久，深情地凝望着对方，品味着彼此的心意。

“不要——不要不高兴了。”她说着，话音中有些停顿，同时把手抽了回去。

他回答说：“你不会回去——你不会回去？”

“我不会回去。”她说。

他们默默地乘船返回了波士顿码头，之后纽兰把奥兰斯卡夫人送回帕克旅馆才离去。

次日早晨，他回到纽约，重新开始了工作，就像他之前跟梅说的那样。尽管他连奥兰斯卡夫人的手也没吻过，更没有劝说她和自己再次会面，但他却觉得出奇地平静。他明白他绝不能诱惑她更靠近自己些，要不然她就会回到她丈夫身边去。他决心等待，让她来决定他们何时可以再见面。

在去事务所的路上，他认出了一个年轻人，他在帕克旅馆见过他。与此同时，那个年轻人也认出了他，于是走过来和他握手。

“先生，我们一定在卡弗莱家见过面吧？”那个外国人说。

“啊，没错！里维埃先生！”纽兰说，“你到纽约来有何贵干？过来和我吃午饭吧。”

年轻的法国人向他表示感谢，不过，他问纽兰是否可以在当天下午去事务所拜访他。他们约定了时间，然后纽兰告诉他怎么走。

里维埃先生登门的时候脸色苍白，神情严肃。他解释道，他的雇主派他前往波士顿，捎口讯给奥兰斯卡伯爵夫人。

纽兰涨红了脸。“那也就是说，你就是奥兰斯基伯爵的信使？”

“没错，不过我来找你不是伯爵的意思。你也许不知道吧，先生，奥兰斯卡夫人的家人正在努力劝说她回到丈夫身边。”

“我的天哪！”纽兰叫道。他震惊地坐在那里，默默无言。他意识到自己已不获邀参与家庭讨论。他们一定是不知怎么看出他已经不站在他们一边了。他回想起梅最近说的一句话——埃伦也许跟她丈夫在一起更幸福——以及当时他愤怒的回答。从那以后，梅就没有提过埃伦的名字。

他盯着法国人，说：“我不知道。”

“一点没错，先生。所以我请求你……请求你——别让她回去！”法国人极其真诚地说。

“我可否问一下，你是否建议伯爵夫人不要回去？”

法国人脸红了。“不，先生，我按照伯爵的吩咐，转述了他的话。但和夫人谈过之后，我发现她变了。先生，现在回到他身边生活会让她无法忍受的。我曾经为伯爵工作多年，只是最近才又受雇于他——不过我向你保证，我再也不会为他工作了！”

“谢谢你。”纽兰只是说了一句。两个人内心都很激动。他们握了握手，里维埃随即离开了事务所。