父母如何塑造孩子的心理健康

Most parents know that their behavior has an effect on their children's mental health, now and possibly forever.

大多数父母都知道，他们的行为会影响孩子的心理健康，现在甚至可能永远如此。

As such, we strive to model equanimity and empathy as much as we can, with the small hope that these moments will outweigh the unhinged ones.

因此，我们努力尽可能地树立冷静和同理心的榜样，希望这些时刻会超过精神错乱的时刻。

There are times when this is easier, and times when this is harder. Right now, just in case anyone out there remains unclear, it's much, much harder.

有时这很容易，有时这很困难。现在，万一有人还不清楚，那就困难得多了。

With the pandemic, school closures, the climate crisis and political uncertainty, this year has made it difficult for anyone to reasonably hold it together.

随着流行病、学校停课、气候危机和政治不确定性，今年让任何人都很难合理地团结起来。

The good news is that kids don't need us to be pillars of strength amid the wreckage. Nor does a parent's anxiety or depression mean the kid will inevitably experience anxiety or depression now, or in the future.

好消息是孩子们不需要我们充当废墟中的力量支柱。父母的焦虑或抑郁并不意味着孩子现在或将来必然会经历焦虑或抑郁。

What matters more than how unsettled we feel is how we deal with these unsettling feelings. This is the case whether it's we parents or our kids experiencing anxiety or depression.

比我们感到不安更重要的是我们如何处理这些不安的感觉。无论是作为父母的我们还是我们的孩子都经历着焦虑或抑郁。

The relationship between parent and children's mental health

父母与儿童心理健康的关系

There is a long-established relationship between parent and child mental health problems, explained Marcy Burstein, a clinical psychologist and employee of the National Institute of Mental Health, who has researched this topic.

美国国家心理健康研究所的临床心理学家和雇员玛西·伯斯廷研究过这个话题，她解释说，父母和孩子的心理健康问题之间的关系由来已久。

Children of parents with anxiety disorders are four to six times more likely to develop an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, and children of parents with depression are three to four times more likely to develop depression. Often, these disorders appear in childhood or adolescence.

父母患有焦虑症的孩子一生中患焦虑症的几率要高出4到6倍，而父母患有抑郁症的孩子一生中患抑郁症的几率要高出3到4倍。这些疾病通常出现在儿童或青少年时期。

The why, however, remains uncertain. It's likely a combination of genetics, biology and environment, Burstein said. Also, it's not always something that is passed from parent to child; a child's behavior can impact their parent.

然而，原因仍不确定。伯斯廷说，这可能是遗传、生物学和环境的综合作用。而且，它并不总是从父母传给孩子的;孩子的行为会影响他们的父母。

"This is a bit of a chicken-and-egg phenomenon," Burstein said. "The relationship between parent and child is bidirectional and complex. "

伯斯廷说:“这有点像先有鸡还是先有蛋的现象。父母和孩子之间的关系是双向的、复杂的。”

But no matter where and how mental illness starts, Burstein wants parents to know that nobody is to blame.

但是，无论心理疾病从哪里开始，以何种方式开始，伯斯廷希望父母们知道，没有人应该受到责备。

"Mental health issues should be considered like any other illness," she said. "We don't blame someone for having diabetes."

她说:“心理健康问题应该像对待其他疾病一样对待。”“我们不会责怪患有糖尿病的人。”

Eli Lebowitz, director of the Yale Child Study Center's Program for Anxiety Disorders, agreed.

耶鲁大学儿童研究中心焦虑症项目主任艾莉·莱伯维茨对此表示赞同。

When it comes to children experiencing anxiety and depression, he rarely thinks a parent's own struggles with mental health are the direct cause.

他很少认为父母自身与心理健康的斗争是导致孩子焦虑和抑郁的直接原因。

"There is still this idea that it is all the parent's fault, which mental health, as a discipline, has a long history of saying," said Lebowitz, author of the forthcoming "Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents," "They have blamed parents for so many problems."

“仍然有一种观点认为这都是父母的错，心理健康作为一门学科，由来已久，”即将出版的《摆脱儿童焦虑和强迫症：一项科学证明的家长计划》一书的作者莱伯维茨说，“他们把那么多问题归咎于父母。”

This isn't to say parents have no influence over their children's mental well-being.

这并不是说父母对孩子的心理健康没有影响。

Emotional suffering is inevitable. Life is painful and uncomfortable at some point for all of us. If you never experience these feelings, well, I have some bad news. You're likely neck-deep in denial or toxic positivity (or both), and it isn't benefiting anyone, least of all yourself.

情感上的痛苦是不可避免的。生活在某种程度上对我们所有人来说都是痛苦和不舒服的。如果你从未有过这种感觉，那么，我有个坏消息。你很可能深陷在否认或消极的积极情绪中(或两者皆有)，这对任何人都没有好处，对你自己更是如此。

Sometimes anxiety and sadness can be managed without professional help. And sometimes they're so strong that they qualify as a clinical disorder and demand professional help.

有时，焦虑和悲伤可以在没有专业帮助的情况下得到控制。有时它们太强大了，以至于它们被认为是一种临床疾病，需要专业的帮助。