《四季随笔》节选 - 秋 14
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    《四季随笔》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中对隐士赖克罗夫特醉心于书籍、自然景色与回忆过去生活的描述,其实是吉辛的自述,作者以此来抒发自己的情感,因而本书是一部富有自传色彩的小品文集。

    吉辛穷困的一生,对文学名著的爱好与追求,以及对大自然恬静生活的向往,在书中均有充分的反映。本书分为春、夏、秋、冬四个部分,文笔优美,行文流畅,是英国文学中小品文的珍品之一。

    以下是由网友分享的《四季随笔》节选 - 秋 14的内容,让我们一起来感受吉辛的四季吧!

    I have had one of my savage headaches. For a day and a night I was in blind torment. Have at it, now, with the stoic remedy. Sickness of the body is no evil. With a little resolution and considering it as a natural issue of certain natural processes, pain may well be borne. One's solace is, to remember that it cannot affect the soul, which partakes of the eternal nature. This body is but as "the clothing, or the cottage, of the mind." Let flesh be racked; I, the very I, will stand apart, lord of myself.

    我那可怕的头疼又发作了一次,整整一天一夜,我被折磨得昏天黑地。现在,我拿斯多葛学派的哲学作药方来对付它。身体的病痛其实不是坏事,怀着一点决心,将之视为多种自然进程的一个自然事件,疼痛便容易忍受了。只要想到它并不影响具有永恒自然性质的灵魂,就可以得到一种安慰。这具躯体不过是“思想的衣服或住所”。尽管让肉体受折磨吧;我,真正的我,会作为自己的统治者冷眼旁观。

    Meanwhile, memory, reason, every faculty of my intellectual part, is being whelmed in muddy oblivion. Is the soul something other than the mind? If so, I have lost all consciousness of its existence. For me, mind and soul are one, and, as I am too feelingly reminded, that element of my being is HERE, where the brain throbs and anguishes. A little more of such suffering, and I were myself no longer; the body representing me would gesticulate and rave, but I should know nothing of its motives, its fantasies. The very I, it is too plain, consists but with a certain balance of my physical elements, which we call health. Even in the light beginnings of my headache, I was already not myself; my thoughts followed no normal course, and I was aware of the abnormality. A few hours later, I was but a walking disease; my mind— if one could use the word—had become a barrel-organ, grinding in endless repetition a bar or two of idle music.

    与此同时,我心智的每个功能,如记忆、理智等,湮没在无知无觉的混沌状态中。灵魂是思想之外的东西吗?如果是,那我完全意识不到它的存在。对我来说,思想和灵魂是一体的,我真真切切地感受着,自己的身体在这里,在我脑脉悸动而疼痛不止的地方。这种痛苦再剧烈一些,我就不再是自己了;我的身体还能乱动,会狂语,至于它的动机和幻想,我就不得而知了。很明显,真正的我依赖于身体各部分的某种平衡,我们称之为健康。即使在我头痛的初期,我就已经不是我自己了;我的思维走向不正常,我也意识到了它的不正常。几小时后,我不过是行走着的疾病罢了;我的思想——如果还能用这个词的话——已经变成了一架手摇风琴,无休止地重复着一两节单调的音乐。

    What trust shall I repose in the soul that serves me thus? Just as much, one would say, as in the senses, through which I know all that I can know of the world in which I live, and which, for all I can tell, may deceive me even more grossly in their common use than they do on certain occasions where I have power to test them; just as much, and no more—if I am right in concluding that mind and soul are merely subtle functions of body. If I chance to become deranged in certain parts of my physical mechanism, I shall straightway be deranged in my wits; and behold that Something in me which "partakes of the eternal" prompting me to pranks which savour little of the infinite wisdom. Even in its normal condition (if I can determine what that is) my mind is obviously the slave of trivial accidents; I eat something that disagrees with me, and of a sudden the whole aspect of life is changed; this impulse has lost its force, and another which before I should not for a moment have entertained, is all-powerful over me. In short, I know just as little about myself as I do about the Eternal Essence, and I have a haunting suspicion that I may be a mere automaton, my every thought and act due to some power which uses and deceives me.

    对于如此对待我的灵魂,我还能给予信任吗?有人会说,信任它,就像我信任所有的感官一样,我通过感官了解我生活的这个世界上的一切事物。而就我所知,感官在平常,可能比某些我有能力检验它们的时刻,要更严重地欺骗我;给灵魂的信任同样多就好,不要超过——假使我对头脑和灵魂都不过是身体微妙功能的结论是正确的话。如果我身体机制的某些部分偶然出现紊乱,我的头脑也会马上跟着混乱;而我身体内那个“有永恒性质”的某物会让我胡闹,这胡闹和无限智慧可没什么关系。即使在正常的情况下(如果我能判定它是怎样情况的话),我的头脑明显像是各种琐屑事故的奴隶。我吃了一些不合脾胃的东西,突然整个生活都发生了变化;一种冲动丧失了力量,另外一种我之前从没意识到的冲动则完全控制了我。简言之,我对自身的了解就像对“永恒本质”一样知之甚少,我总怀疑自己可能只是一个机器人,我的每个思想和行为都受到某种力量的利用和欺骗。

    Why am I meditating thus, instead of enjoying the life of the natural man, at peace with himself and the world, as I was a day or two ago? Merely, it is evident, because my health has suffered a temporary disorder. It has passed; I have thought enough about the unthinkable; I feel my quiet returning. Is it any merit of mine that I begin to be in health once more? Could I, by any effort of the will, have shunned this pitfall?

    我为什么要如此思考,为什么不和一两天前一样,享受正常人的生活,与自身以及世界都和平共处呢?很明显,只是因为我的身体经历了暂时的紊乱。它已经过去了,我也对不可思议的事情想得够多了,我感到自己在回归宁静。我对自己健康的恢复有什么功劳吗?难道说我凭借意志的力量就能避开疾病的圈套吗?

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