1. Bribery

A man, who had a case for damages impending1 at the Law Courts, inquired of his solicitor2 the name of the judge who would preside3.

I expect it will be So and So, replied the solicitor. "Why do you ask?" "Well, I was thinking that I'd send him a box of good cigars or something like that."

My dear sir, the thing's unheard of. You would lay yourself open to a very serious indictment4, and would certainly lose your case.

Later, after the case had been brought to a successful conclusion, the client remarked, "Well, it looks as though that little donation5 to the judge feller6 did a bit of good, eh?"

You don't mean to say that you carried out that foolish idea in spite of my advice?

Yes, I did. Only I don't think you got my idea quite right. You see, I sent them in the other feller's name!

Notes:

1. impending 即将，迫在眉睫的

2. solicitor 律师

3. preside 主持

4. indictment 起诉书

5. donation 捐赠

6. feller （fellow的口语）家伙

贿　赂

一位男士有一桩赔偿损失案就要在法庭上开审了，他向他的律师打听法庭庭长的姓名。

“我想大概是某某人”，律师回答说。“你问这个干什么？”

“噢，我想给他送去一盒上等雪茄或类似东西。”

“亲爱的先生，这种事可没听说过。你是明摆着要受到严厉的指控，你肯定要败诉的。”

后来，在官司打赢之后，这位委托人说：

“嗨，看来给那个法官的小小赠礼还起了一点儿作用呢，嗯？”

“你不会说你不听我的劝告干了那件傻事吧？”

“是的，我干了。只是你没有完全理解我的意思。你看，我是以对方的名义送去的。”

Useful link:

英国的律师有两种：一种是出庭律师（Barrister），专门出庭控辩；一种是事务律师（Solicitor），专门负责接待当事人，处理非诉讼业务，很少出庭，要出庭也大多只是在初级法院。客户首先找到事务律师，他／她接到案件后，将之交给一个出庭律师。