■ 蝶吻 Butterfly Kisses
◎ Ronit Baras
My newlywed husband said the same thing every morning, “You’re beautiful today.”
我的新婚丈夫每天早晨都会对我说同样的话：“你今天真美！”
One glance in the mirror revealed[97] that it was far from the truth.
我只要往镜子里一瞥，就知道他说的根本不是事实。
A skinny girl with mashed hair on one side of her head and no makeup smiled back at me. I could feel my sticky morning breath.
镜子里有一个瘦瘦的、没化妆的女孩，她那乱乱的头发倒向一边，正微笑地望着我。我还能感觉到早晨起来时嘴里那股难闻的气味。
“Liar,” I shot back with a grin.
“撒谎。”我咧嘴笑着答道。
It was my usual response. My mother’s first husband was not a kind man and his verbal[98] and physical abuse forced her and her two children to find a safe place. He showed up on her doorstep one day with roses. She let him in and he beat her with those roses and took advantage of her. Nine months later she gave birth to a 9 lb. 13 oz. baby girl—me.
我总是这样回敬我的丈夫。我母亲的第一个丈夫不是一个善良的男人，他粗暴的言语攻击和身体虐待迫使我母亲带着两个孩子去寻找一个安全的地方。有一天，他出现在我母亲的门前，手捧着一束玫瑰花。她让他进了门，他却用那些玫瑰花打了她，还强行占了她的便宜。于是，9个月后，她生下了一个9磅13盎司重的女孩——就是我。
The harsh words we heard growing up took root. I had trouble seeing myself as someone of value. I had been married two years when I surprised myself. My husband wrapped his arms around me and told me I was beautiful.
成长过程中，我所听到的那些刺耳的话语深深地埋藏在我心中。我无法将自己看成一个有价值的人。可结婚两年后，我简直惊呆了，因为我的丈夫双手拥着我，告诉我我是美丽的。
“Thank you,” I said.
“谢谢。”我说。
The same thin girl with the mousy brown hair still stared back at me in the mirror, but somehow the words had finally blossomed in my heart.
镜子里，同样瘦弱、一头灰褐色头发的女人正盯着我，可那温柔的话语终于让我心花怒放。
A lot of years have passed. My husband has grey in his hair. I’m no longer skinny. Last week I woke up and my husband’s face was inches from mine.
许多年过去了。我的丈夫已经长出了灰白色的头发，我也不再骨瘦如柴。上周的一天早晨，我醒来时，发现丈夫的脸离我只有几英寸的距离。
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“你在干什么？”我问。
I covered my mouth, trying to hide my morning breath. He reached down and kissed my face.
我掩住了自己的嘴，免得让他闻到嘴里的味道。他俯身过来，亲吻了我的脸。
“What I do every morning,” he said.
“做我每天早晨做的事啊！”他说。
He leaves in the early hours of the morning while I sleep. I miss our morning conversations, but I had not realized that he continued to tell me that he loved me even while I slept. When he left, I rolled over and hugged my pillow. I envisioned the picture of me lightly snoring with my mouth open and giggled.
他总是在清晨时就得出门，那时我还在睡觉。我很想念我们之间久违的晨间对话，可我还未意识到他一直在告诉我他爱我，即使在我熟睡的时候。他离开后，我便会转个身，抱着一个枕头。我想象着自己睡觉时打鼾、嘴巴微张的样子，不禁笑出了声。
What a man! My husband understands my past. He’s been beside me as I’ve grown from an unsure young girl to a confident woman, mother, speaker and author.
他就是这样一个男人！我的丈夫知道我的过去。在我从一个不自信的年轻女子变成一个成熟自信的女人、母亲、演讲者和作家的过程中，他一直在我身边。
But I’m not sure that he understands the part he played in that transition[99] . The words I heard growing up pierced my soul, yet his words pierced even deeper.
可我不确定他是否明白在这个转变过程中他所扮演的角色。伴我长大的话语曾那样刺痛我的灵魂，然而，他的话语更是深深地感动了我的灵魂。
This Anniversary Day I plan to wake early. I want to tell Richard how much I love him. He may look in the mirror and see an extra pound or two, or wish for the day when his hair was dark and curly, but all I’ll see is the man who saw something in me when I couldn’t see it myself, and who leaves butterfly kisses, even after twenty-three years of marriage.
今天是结婚周年纪念日，我决定早点起来。我想告诉理查德我有多爱他。照镜子时，他也许会发现自己又发福了，或者期盼着有一天他的头发又变得乌黑鬈曲。可是，在我眼中他是这样一个男人：是他发现了我身上的那些东西，而我未能发现；即便是在结婚23年后，他还是天天给我留下蝶吻。
