2003年下半年我曾收到一位备考者的写作样品，希望给予点评。由于当时事务繁忙，无暇做详细的评判，现在正好可以弥补这一缺憾。通过点评此文，笔者希望中国学生能从它所暴露出来的某些通病中汲取教训。
10-1：原文如下
Topic:
People have been so encouraged by society to focus on apparent differences that they fail to see meaningful similarities among ideas, individuals, and groups.
Differences and personality seem to have been playing a crucial role in our society in many aspects, whether ideas, individuals, or groups, for the incentive to stand out in the increasingly larger amount of output by society of both new high-tech products and elites of persons and groups. And therein exists another belief that by taking differing from others too far causes people’s failure to see the meaningful similarities among related things. As far as I am concerned, however, that pursuing differences or personality and seeking similarities between counterparts are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and that a coalition of them both can be possibly and necessarily realized if handled properly, which will benefit our society a lot with the appropriate proportion of them each to blance each other out.
Admittedly, apparent differences is now playing an important part in distinguising someting or someone out, especially in the tense competition field concerning business. A free market ecomony is where this rule takes effect and works most well. Take American automobile industry for an example. Equipped with modern technology, many other countries are now able to manufact automobiles almost as the same to American’s time-honored superior cars, in almost every way: the fashion style, the comfortable seats, energy-effective process, high-quality materials, and the like. In this situation, American manufactures established and estinguished their automobiles by creating an attractive emotion image of their cars: masculine, owning money and time to drive cars, enjoy life and so on. One of the most clever use of emotion to differ itself is seen in the old Volvo slogan, "Volvo, the car for people who think." The suggested reason for buying the car is obvious: it is the intelligent choice, and this is where the unique idea appeals to people----they want to be included in the group of intelligent, thoughful people. So we can conclude that when you’ve got something special, you stand out and go ahead of your competitors.
However, overemphasizing apparent differences may mask the meaningful similarities between things, which would do harm to the meaningful and constructive communication not only between individuals but also even between different cultures. First of all, too much focus on apparent differences may narrow ones eyesight and blind him from the basic and foundamental similarity in common with others, which is the very element that understanding, helpful discussion, and potential cooperation necessaries to develop. In addition, without the acknowledge of the common share between different cultures in human nature, such as desire, love, hate, jealousy, etc., and in its function to cultivate its peopel and to serve the power of its nation, one may find it really hard to understand another culture’s customs and values deviating from his own, and that is where his bias and prejudice toward that culture starts and forms. And this illustrates how culture gap develops, in a much simpler process, of course. From the two reasons above, we can see the importance of encouraging people to study and seeking the meaningful similarities to cultural communications as well as individuals’.
