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Iwaited a day before calling

Dr. Sam to inform him of

my decision. I had to be sure!

“Miriam, I think I know

why you want to go through

with this pregnancy, but

are you aware of the risks?”

“I know my baby will be

different. I know she may be

mentally and physically retarded.

She may have developmental difficulties

and problems with social acceptance.

I do recognize that I am

going to have to amend

almost every facet of my life.

I am prepared to do that.

This is my final gift

from Paul and I am determined

to go through with this!”

“I thought you would feel

that way. You have my utmost

admiration and support. I will

follow your pregnancy carefully

but I want you to see

a specialist in birth defects.

I will refer you to Dr. Brown

and would like you to make

an appointment with her

as soon as possible,” he said.

I knew then that I had

made the right choice.

My pregnancy was not without

its hardships, from morning sickness

to swollen ankles, but I had

no doubts about the decision

I had made. My parents, when

I told them what was going

on with me, expressed their concerns

but also their confidence

in my decision and assured me

they would be there when

I delivered my baby.

Paula was born on a bright,

cloudless, warm Tuesday morning

in May. I was prepared to

see a red, wrinkled, squalling infant.

Instead, I saw very little.

Because of the risks involved,

Paula was delivered by Caesarian section.

The doctors and nurses rushed her

into an incubatorto assess her

before I caught a glimpse of her.

I could see my parents

on the other side of

the operating room window, questions

in their eyes. What was going on?

The nurses kept me comfortable

and tried to alleviate my fears

but half an hour passed before

our questions were answered.

My daughter had a severe heart defect.

It could be corrected through surgery

but not until she gained

a little weight and strength.

I understood in that moment that

my life had changed forever.

I demanded to see her immediately,

and as soon as I did,

I fell in love. This most

precious of all gifts was

going to survive the obstacles

ahead of her with my help.

I knew in an instant that

all my strength,love, and

monetary resources were at

her command. Nothing she wanted,

needed, or even dreamed

of, would ever be denied.

The heart surgery to correct

a flawed valve was a resounding success.

Fortunately, the common defects

occurring in a majority

of Down's syndrome children

were absent in Paula. She has

no intestinal malformations, hearing impairment,

or severe visual problems.

We are truly blessed.

My parents adore this exceptional grandchild.

Their expertise in teaching, nurturing,

and parenting has been so welcome.

I always knew they were there

for me; now they are there for us.

I am aware of the sympathetic

looks from strangers who don't know

or understand the disorder

afflicting my child. Their pity,

for what they ascertain as

my plight, is misplaced but understandable.

I am sure that I, too,

felt sorry for parents of what

I thought of as imperfect children.

Paula is a delightful child.

Her physical defects are apparent;

there is no doubt she is

different from other children.

However, she goes to school

with other children her age;

she takes longer to learn things

and has to work harder,

but she is achieving all

the milestones of growing children.

Raising her is a challenge,

as is the raising of any child.

It isn't easy and it won't get easier.

As she grows and develops,

there will be questions to answer,

hurdles to cross, and goals

to reach. Paula is different.

She is aware that she is.

It doesn't dismay her. She greets

each day with a smile on her

lips and a sparkle in her eye.

Do I ever have doubts about

my decision? No! My only regret

is that Paul isn't here to

share my joy in our wonderful daughter.