I always tried to keep him within my field of vision. I never let him drift away from me except when he wasn’t with me. And when he wasn’t with me, I didn’t much care what he did so long as he remained the exact same person with others as he was with me. Don’t let him be someone else when he’s away. Don’t let him be someone I’ve never seen before. Don’t let him have a life other than the life I know he has with us, with me.
我总是尽力把他留在我的视线范围内。除非他不跟我在一起，我从来不让他漫无目的离开。他不跟我在一起的时候，我倒是不太在意他做什么，只要他还是跟我在一起时的那个人就好。他离开时，别让他变成另一个人。别让他变成我从来没见过的人。除了他跟我们、跟我在一起时，我所知道的那个人生之外，别让他再有另外的人生。
Don’t let me lose him.
别让我失去他。
I knew I had no hold on him, nothing to offer, nothing to lure him by.
I was nothing.
Just a kid.
我知道我抓不住他，没什么能奉献的，没什么吸引他的。
我什么都不是。
只是个孩子。
He simply doled out his attention when the occasion suited him. When he came to my assistance to help me understand a fragment by Heraclitus, because I was determined to read “his” author, the words that sprang to me were not “gentleness” or “generosity” but “patience” and “forbearance,” which ranked higher. Moments later, when he asked if I liked a book I was reading, his question was prompted less by curiosity than by an opportunity for casual chitchat. Everything was casual.
他只在自己方便的时候施舍一点注意力给我。有一天我决定读读“他的作者”赫拉克利特写些什么，他帮我理解其中一段文字时的态度令我想到的不是“和善”、“宽厚”这类字眼，而是更高等级的“耐心”与“容忍”。过了一会儿，他问我喜不喜欢我正在读的书。这问题与其说出于好奇，不如说是为了找机会随意闲聊。一切都是漫不经心。
He was okay with casual.
How come you’re not at the beach with the others?
Go back to your plunking.
Later!
Yours!
Just making conversation.
Casual chitchat.
Nothing.
他觉得漫不经心无所谓。
——你怎么没跟其他人去海边？
——回去弹你的吉他吧。
——回头再说！
——给你的！
只是找话说而已。
只是随便聊聊。
没什么。
我总是尽力把他留在我的视线范围内。除非他不跟我在一起，我从来不让他漫无目的离开。他不跟我在一起的时候，我倒是不太在意他做什么，只要他还是跟我在一起时的那个人就好。他离开时，别让他变成另一个人。别让他变成我从来没见过的人。除了他跟我们、跟我在一起时，我所知道的那个人生之外，别让他再有另外的人生。
Don’t let me lose him.
别让我失去他。
I knew I had no hold on him, nothing to offer, nothing to lure him by.
I was nothing.
Just a kid.
我知道我抓不住他，没什么能奉献的，没什么吸引他的。
我什么都不是。
只是个孩子。
He simply doled out his attention when the occasion suited him. When he came to my assistance to help me understand a fragment by Heraclitus, because I was determined to read “his” author, the words that sprang to me were not “gentleness” or “generosity” but “patience” and “forbearance,” which ranked higher. Moments later, when he asked if I liked a book I was reading, his question was prompted less by curiosity than by an opportunity for casual chitchat. Everything was casual.
他只在自己方便的时候施舍一点注意力给我。有一天我决定读读“他的作者”赫拉克利特写些什么，他帮我理解其中一段文字时的态度令我想到的不是“和善”、“宽厚”这类字眼，而是更高等级的“耐心”与“容忍”。过了一会儿，他问我喜不喜欢我正在读的书。这问题与其说出于好奇，不如说是为了找机会随意闲聊。一切都是漫不经心。
He was okay with casual.
How come you’re not at the beach with the others?
Go back to your plunking.
Later!
Yours!
Just making conversation.
Casual chitchat.
Nothing.
他觉得漫不经心无所谓。
——你怎么没跟其他人去海边？
——回去弹你的吉他吧。
——回头再说！
——给你的！
只是找话说而已。
只是随便聊聊。
没什么。
