“Where are the forests?” he asked.

“森林在哪里？”他问。

　 Brother Luke laughed. “Patience, Jude.”

卢克修士大笑：“裘德，耐心点。”

　 They would need to stay in a motel for a few days, Brother Luke explained, both to make sure the other brothers weren’t following them and so he could begin scouting for the perfect place to build their cabin. The motel was called The Golden Hand, and their room had two beds—real beds—and Brother Luke let him choose which one he wanted. He took the one near the bathroom, and Brother Luke took the one near the window, with a view of their car. “Why don’t you take a shower, and I’m going to go to the store and get us some supplies,” said the brother, and he was suddenly frightened. “What’s wrong, Jude?”

卢克修士解释，他们得在一家汽车旅馆先待几天，一方面要确定其他修士不会追上来，另一方面他们也可以开始寻找完美的地点来建造小木屋。那家汽车旅馆叫“金手”，他们的房间有两张床——真正的床——卢克修士让他先挑。他挑了靠浴室那张，卢克修士则睡靠窗的那张，隔着窗子就可以看到他们的车。“你先去冲个澡，我去店里买些东西。”修士说。他忽然害怕起来。“裘德，怎么了？”

　 “Are you going to come back?” he asked, hating how scared he sounded.

“你会回来吗？”他问，很恨自己的声音听起来这么害怕。

　 “Of course I’ll come back, Jude,” said the brother, hugging him. “Of course I will.”

“我当然会回来，裘德，”修士说，走过来给他一个拥抱，“我当然会回来啊。”

　 When he did, he had a loaf of sliced bread, and a jar of peanut butter, and a hand of bananas, and a quart of milk, and a bag of almonds, and some onions and peppers and chicken breasts. That evening, Brother Luke set up the small hibachi he’d brought in the parking lot and they grilled the onions and peppers and chicken, and Brother Luke gave him a glass of milk.

他回来时，带了一条切开的面包、一瓶花生酱、一串香蕉，还有一大瓶牛奶、一包杏仁，外加一些洋葱、青椒和鸡胸肉。那天晚上，卢克修士把他在停车场买来的小烤炉架起来，他们烤了洋葱、青椒和鸡肉，卢克修士给了他一杯牛奶。

　 Brother Luke established their routine. They woke early, before the sun was up, and Brother Luke made himself a pot of coffee with the coffeemaker he’d brought, and then they drove into town, to the high school’s track, where Luke let him run around for an hour as he sat in the bleachers, drinking his coffee and watching him. Then they returned to the motel room, where the brother gave him lessons. Brother Luke had been a math professor before he came to the monastery, but he had wanted to work with children, and so he had later taught sixth grade. But he knew about other subjects as well: history and books and music and languages. He knew so much more than the other brothers, and he wondered why Luke had never taught him when they lived at the monastery. They ate lunch—peanut butter sandwiches again—and then had more classes until three p.m., when he was allowed outside again to run around the parking lot, or to take a walk with the brother down the highway. The motel faced the interstate, and the whoosh of the passing cars provided a constant soundtrack. “It’s like living by the sea,” Brother Luke always said.

卢克修士建立了他们的日常生活。他们一早就起床，卢克修士会用他买的咖啡壶给自己冲一壶咖啡。然后他们开车到镇上，去当地高中的田径场，让他跑一小时，卢克则坐在露天看台上喝咖啡看他跑。之后，他们回到旅馆房间，修士会给他上课。卢克修士去修道院之前是数学教授，他一直想做与孩子有关的工作，后来就去小学教六年级。但他也懂其他科目，包括历史、阅读、音乐和语文。卢克修士懂的比其他修士多好多，他不懂以前住在修道院时，为什么卢克修士从没教过他。接着他们吃午餐（又是花生酱三明治），然后下午上课到3点，他就可以到停车场上绕着圈子跑步，或是跟修士沿着高速公路散步。那家汽车旅馆面对着州际高速公路，经过车子的呼啸声是永远的背景音乐。“就像住在海边一样。”卢克修士总是这么说。

　 After this, Brother Luke made a third pot of coffee and then drove off to look for locations where they’d build their cabin, and he stayed behind in their motel room. The brother always locked him into the room for his safety. “Don’t open the door for anyone, do you hear me?” asked the brother. “Not for anyone. I have a key and I’ll let myself in. And don’t open the curtains; I don’t want anyone to see you’re in here alone. There are dangerous people out there in the world; I don’t want you to get hurt.” It was for this same reason that he wasn’t to use Brother Luke’s computer, which he took with him anyway whenever he left the room. “You don’t know who’s out there,” Brother Luke would say. “I want you to be safe, Jude. Promise me.” He promised.

之后，卢克修士会煮第三壶咖啡，然后开车出去寻找盖小屋的地点，他则留在旅馆房间。为了他的安全，修士离开时总是把房门上锁。“任何人敲门都不要开，听到没？”修士要求他，“任何人都不行。我有钥匙，我回来会自己开门。另外别拉开窗帘，我不希望任何人看到你一个人在里面。外头有很多危险的人，我不希望你受到伤害。”出于同样的原因，他也不能用卢克修士的笔记本电脑，反正修士一离开房间就会带走。“你不知道外头有什么坏人，”卢克修士说，“裘德，我希望你安全。跟我保证。”他保证了。

　 He would lie on his bed and read. The television was forbidden to him: Luke would feel it when he came back to the room, to see if it was warm, and he didn’t want to displease him, he didn’t want to get in trouble. Brother Luke had brought a piano keyboard in his car, and he practiced on it; the brother was never mean to him, but he did take lessons seriously. As the sky grew dark, though, he would find himself sitting on the edge of Brother Luke’s bed, pinching back the curtain and scanning the parking lot for Brother Luke’s car; some part of him was always worried that Brother Luke wouldn’t return for him after all, that he was growing tired of him, that he would be left alone. There was so much he didn’t know about the world, and the world was a scary place. He tried to remind himself that there were things he could do, that he knew how to work, that maybe he could get a job cleaning the motel, but he was always anxious until he saw the station wagon pulling toward him, and then he would be relieved, and would promise himself that he would do better the next day, that he would never give Brother Luke a reason to not return to him.

他会躺在自己的床上阅读。卢克修士也不准他看电视，回来时还会摸电视机，看看是不是温的；他不想惹修士不高兴，不想惹麻烦。卢克修士的车上也有一台电子琴，他会用那个练习；修士从来没骂过他，但是很把他的课业当回事。天空转暗时，他会不自觉地坐在卢克修士那张床的角落，偷偷拉开窗帘一角看外头的停车场，寻找卢克修士的车子；他心里某部分总是担心卢克修士再也不会回来了，担心修士厌倦他，担心自己会被单独留下。这个世界好可怕，有那么多他不知道的事物。他设法提醒自己有些事情他可以做，他会干活，或许他可以在汽车旅馆找到清洁的差事，但他总是很焦虑，只有看到那辆旅行车开过来才能放松，然后向自己保证他明天会更乖，绝对不会给卢克修士任何不回来的理由。

　 One evening the brother came back to the room looking tired. A few days ago, he had returned excited: he had found the perfect piece of land, he said. He described a clearing surrounded by cedars and pines, a little stream nearby busy with fish, the air so cool and quiet that you could hear every pinecone as it fell to the soft ground. He had even shown him a picture, all dark greens and shadows, and had explained where their cabin would go, and how he could help build it, and where they would make a sleeping loft, a secret fort, just for him.

某天傍晚修士回到房间，一脸疲倦。几天前，他回来时很兴奋，说他找到完美的土地了。他描述了一片有雪松和松树环绕的林间空地，附近有一条鱼类繁多的小溪，那里的空气很凉、很安静，可以听到每个松球落到柔软土地上的声音。他甚至拿了张照片给他看，一片墨绿色和阴影，然后解释他们的小木屋要盖在哪里，他要怎么帮忙建造，哪里会是阁楼卧室（那会是他专属的秘密堡垒）。

　 “What’s wrong, Brother Luke?” he asked him, after the brother had been silent so long that he could no longer stand it.

看到修士沉默了好久，他再也忍不住了。“怎么回事，卢克修士？”他问。

　 “Oh, Jude,” said the brother, “I’ve failed.” He told him how he had tried and tried to buy the land, but he just didn’t have the money. “I’m sorry, Jude, I’m sorry,” he said, and then, to his amazement, the brother began to cry.

“啊，裘德，”修士说，“我失败了。”他说他自己如何试了又试要买那块地，但他就是没有足够的钱。“对不起，裘德，对不起。”他说。令他惊讶的是，修士哭了起来。

　 He had never before seen an adult cry. “Maybe you could teach again, Brother Luke,” he said, trying to comfort him. “I like you. If I were a kid, I’d like to be taught by you,” and the brother smiled a bit at him and stroked his hair and said it didn’t work like that, that he’d have to get licensed by the state, and it was a long and complicated process.

他从来没看过大人哭。“卢克修士，或许你可以再去教书，”他说，试着安慰他，“我喜欢你。如果我是小孩，我会很想让你教的。”但修士苦笑着抚摸他的头发，说那不行，他要教书就得拿到这个州的教师执照，而那个过程漫长又复杂。

　 He thought and thought. And then he remembered: “Brother Luke,” he said, “I could help—I could get a job. I could help earn money.”

他想了又想，然后他想到了。“卢克修士，”他说，“我可以帮忙——我可以找个工作。我可以帮忙赚钱。”

　 “No, Jude,” said the brother. “I can’t let you do that.”

“不，裘德，”修士说，“我不能让你这么做。”

　 “But I want to,” he said. He remembered Brother Michael telling him how much he cost for the monastery to maintain, and felt guilty and frightened, both. Brother Luke had done so much for him, and he had done nothing in return. He not only wanted to help earn money; he had to.

“可是我想帮忙。”他说。他还记得迈克修士跟他说养他花了修道院多少钱，觉得内疚又害怕。卢克修士为他做了这么多，他却完全没回报。他不光是想要帮忙赚钱而已；他非帮不可。

　 At last he was able to convince the brother, who hugged him. “You really are one in a million, you know that?” Luke asked him. “You really are special.” And he smiled into the brother’s sweater.

最后他终于说服修士，修士抱抱他。“你真是一百万人中才有的一个，你知道吗？”卢克跟他说，“你真的好特别。”然后他偎着修士的毛衣微笑。

　 The next day they had classes as usual, and then the brother left again, this time, he said, to find him a good job: something he could do that would help them earn money so they could buy the land and build the cabin. And this time Luke returned smiling, excited even, and seeing this, he was excited as well.

次日他们如常上课，然后修士又离开了，这回说要去帮他找份好工作，找份他可以帮忙赚钱的差事，这样就可以买下地盖小木屋了。这回卢克回来时满脸微笑，甚至很兴奋，他看了也跟着兴奋。

　 “Jude,” said the brother, “I met someone who wants to give you some work; he’s waiting right outside and you can start now.”

“裘德，”修士说，“我碰到一个人愿意给你一些工作；他就在外头等，你现在就可以开始了。”

　 He smiled back at the brother. “What am I going to do?” he asked. At the monastery, he had been taught to sweep, and dust, and mop. He could wax a floor so well that even Brother Matthew had been impressed. He knew how to polish silver, and brass, and wood. He knew how to clean between tiles and how to scrub a toilet. He knew how to clean leaves out of gutters and clean and reset a mousetrap. He knew how to wash windows and do laundry by hand. He knew how to iron, he knew how to sew on buttons, he knew how to make stitches so even and fine that they looked as if they had been done by machine.

他也对着修士微笑。“我要做什么？”他问。在修道院里，他学过扫地、擦灰尘、抹地。他可以把地板打蜡打得亮晶晶的，连马修修士都很佩服。他知道如何擦亮银器、铜器和木头。他知道如何清洁瓷砖间的缝隙，以及刷马桶。他知道如何扫出水沟里的落叶，清理并重新放置捕鼠器。他知道如何洗窗子、手洗衣服。他会熨衣服、缝纽扣，还有本事把针脚缝得又细又均匀，看起来就像是裁缝机缝出来的。