嗨！喂！有事没？ Hey! Hey! What up?
　　你一定是我室友 You must be my roommates.
　　你叫什么名字？ What’s your name?
　　- 塞巴斯蒂安•海斯丁斯 - 杜克•奥斯诺 - Sebastian Hastings. - Duke Orsino.
　　好了 OK.
　　好了，好了，好了 OK, OK, OK.
　　这十安德鲁和托比 他们住隔壁 This is Andrew and Toby. They live next door.
　　但一年级的宿舍在另一边 小神童 Yeah. Freshman dorm’s that-a-way, twiglet.
　　认真说，你多大了？ Seriously, how old are you?
　　我跳了几级 I skipped a couple grades.
　　我是天才 I’m brilliant.
　　话说回来 知道足球队试队是什么时候？ Anyway, do you know when soccer tryouts start?
　　中午。你踢球？ Noon. You play?
　　当然。中锋 你知道的，兄弟 Absolutely. Center forward. You know it, bro.
　　你也很会玩…兄弟？ So you play the beautiful game... bro?
　　伙伴？同志？ Brothers? Brethren?
　　对，我是前锋 安德鲁和托比是中卫 Yeah, I’m a striker. Andrew and Toby are halfbacks.
　　行啊 Schveet.
　　慢着，为什么你靴子里有卫生棉条？ OK, why do you have tampons in your boot?
　　我经常流鼻血 I get really bad nose bleeds.
　　那你把那个塞鼻子里？ So, you stick them up your nose?

　　干嘛？你们没试过？ What? You’ve never done that?
　　是啊 Yeah.
　　哦，天…贝克汉姆经常这么做 Oh, my... Beckham does it all the time.
　　- 真的？ - 是的 - Seriously? - Yes.
　　看，我来示范一下 Look. I’ll just show you how to do it.
　　打开这… Take that off and...
　　...不管是什么 ...whatever that is.
　　然后直接插进去 And you stick it right in.
　　帮你吸得一干二净 It absorbs right up.
　　- 你逗我吧？ - 恶心死了 - Are you kidding me? - That’s disgusting.
　　哦，上帝，你室友是个怪胎 Oh, my God, your roommate’s a freak.
　　太恶心了 That’s so disgusting.
　　那就和往常一样开始训练 Let’s start the season how we finished the last.
　　机灵点！ Sharp!
　　你算什么，家里的矮冬瓜？ What are you, the runt of the family?
　　好了，脱衣训练 OK, shirts and skins.
　　对不起，教练 我得穿着上衣 Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt.
　　- 什么？ - 我对阳光敏感 - What? - I’m allergic to the sun.
　　你对阳光敏感？ You’re allergic to the sun?
　　非常非常非常敏感 致命的敏感 Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic.
　　我天天为你打把阳伞 好吗，大少爷？ So I’ll follow you around with a parasol. All right, Nancy boy?
　　我们很乐意和伊利里亚通融一下 We like to accommodate here at Illyria.
　　那就穿着吧 You’re a shirt.
　　好了，队员们，开始了 OK, guys, let’s go.

　　一，二，三！ One, two, three!
　　一，二，三！ 一，二，三！ One, two, three! One, two, three!
　　我今天已看到不少激情和承诺 I’ve seen a lot of energy and commitment out there today.
　　值得让一名教练自豪 And that makes a coach proud.
　　现在，我要把你们分成 先锋队和候补队 Now, I want to split us up into first string and second string.
　　你们候补队员 别太丧气 You second-stringers, don’t take it too hard.
　　你们和先锋队一样重要 You’re just as much part of this team as the first-stringers.
　　当然只是在场外 Apart from, of course, playing the game part.
　　舒乐 Schuler.
　　海姆斯 Haims.
　　珀坦斯基 Potensky.
　　多纳 Donner.
　　海斯丁斯 Hastings.
　　你们是候补 Second string.
　　其余的，恭喜你们加入先锋队 The rest of you, congratulations. First-stringers.
　　好了，去洗澡 Now, hit the showers.
　　洗澡喽 Shower time.
　　洗澡？ Shower time?
　　- 海斯丁斯，不许洗澡！ - 好 - Hastings! No shower for you. - OK.
　　惨了，我完了。他们发现了 I’m over. It’s done. They know.