银行

Banks will loan you money if you can prove you don't need it.

银行会贷款给你，如果你能证明你并不需要这笔钱。

Bank accounts give a person a good feeling until theyrealize that banks are insured by an agency of afederal government that's over $2 trillion in debt.

有银行账户会让人感觉良好，可等他们知道银行因为欠债1万亿而被联邦政府部门上了保险之后呢。

Banks have a very interesting philosophy. You give them your money to keep--and if you try toborrow it back, they want to know if you're good for it!

银行有一套有趣的哲学。你把你的钱放在他们那里保管，当你想借回时，他们却要你证明自己的资信!

I just went partners with my bank. They own half my car.

我刚和我的银行合股，他们拥有我的车的一半产权。

Even my bank doesn't have confidence in me. I have three things printed on my checks: myname, address and insufficient funds.

我的银行都不信任我。我的支票上印了三样东西：我的姓名、我的地址和短缺资金。

Banks are very much concerned with the best interest of your own. And they get it!

银行非常在乎本城最好的利率，他们确实拿到了!

A bank is a dignified institution that was established for people to have a place to keep thegovernment's money until tax time.

银行是个庄严的机构，它的设立是为了让人们能有地方在交税日前保存政府的钱。

The first drive-in bank was established so that people could show their cars who really ownedthem.

第一家汽车(驶入)银行建立了，这样人们就能把他们的车展示给真正拥有它们的人了。

Why are there bank robbers? Bank ads make it seem like it's easier to just walk in and get aloan.

为什么会有人抢劫银行?银行的广告使他们觉得这样走进去就得到一笔贷款更容易些。

I must have a dishonest face. The bank asks me for ID when I deposit money.

我一定长着一张不诚实的脸，不然为什么我去银行存钱时，他们还管我要身份证。

If bankers can count, how come they always have ten windows and two tellers?

如果开银行的会数数，他们怎么能有10个窗口却总是只坐着两个出纳。

A guy walked into a bank and said, "I want to open a joint account with somebody who hasmoney."

一个人走进银行说：“我想和一个有钱的人开一个联合账户。”

Last week I got a $5000 home improvement loan from my bank. I'm sending the kids tocollege.

上星期我得到了5000美元的房贷，我要用这钱送孩子们上大学。

One bank opened a branch near a cemetery. In the window the president put a sign that read, "You can't take it with you when you go, but here's a chance to be near it."

一家银行在公墓边开了个分行。他们的总裁在银行窗户上挂了一块广告牌，上面写着：“你不能带着它走，但放在我们这里会让你离它近些。”

I tried to open an account in the bank yesterday, but they turned me down.

昨天我想在银行开个账户，可他们拒绝了我。

Why?

为什么?

I wanted to open a charge account!

我想开个赊欠户。