Requirement 1: Can we agree to have a constructive conversation?

Process Model

Commit to the relationship – signal that you are ready to work on the problem and it is worth doing.

Optimize safety – you will do your best to not make the other feel defensive, and you will try to appreciate the other’s point of view.

Requirement 2: Can our conversation be productive enough to make a difference?

Process Model

Narrow the discussion to one issue – identify one issue at time in a nonthreatening way.

Neutralize defensiveness – minimize using words, terms, or descriptions that make the other defensive.

Requirement 3: Can we understand and appreciate each other’s perspective?

Process Model

Explain and echo each perspective-tell the other what you observe, how it makes you feel, and the long-term consequences.

Requirement 4: Can we all commit to making improvements?

Process Model

Change one behavior each – agree that each of you is going to change one behavior.

Track it! – determine ways to monitor progress.