Two golfers were chewing the fat. Abbott said, "You know why Tiger wins so much? It's not because of his distance, or his shot-making, or his putting, or his course management, or his patience. That's not why he wins so much. You want to know the real reason he wins so much?" Costello said, "Spit it out already!" Abbot said, "Because his name is Tiger! His name instills fear into his competitors. His name empowers him. He scoffs at his competitors—Timothy, Benjamin, Arthur, Phil. What kind of names are those? You know what kind of names they are?" Costello said, "Spit it out already!" Abbot said, "Sissy names, that's what. And they all know their names are sissy names. If I were going to be a golfer, I'd give myself a fierce name, like Samson Attila Geronimo. Let Tiger chew on that! He'd be Tiger Schmiger in my book!"