There is much confusion and concern over what it means to be a single lady. This is because most young women swallow enough of the singlehood lies to permeate (渗透) themselves with single sickness. It is hard not to believe these myths. They’re fed to us everywhere, even from well-meaning people who try to be encouraging.

Myth 1. Singleness is lonely. This is simply not the case. The only singles who claim to be lonely are those who choose to be lonely. Perhaps if a young woman is living on her own, there is more room for this feeling to creep in. One of the reasons why singleness seems so daunting is because of the very term itself: Single. It conjures up the image of a lone person, going through life with no companions. Yet, being a single only applies to the lack of a marriage partner. To call yourself lonely when all you lack is one person in your life is foolish. There is a whole host of other people whose relationships can be just as meaningful as a marriage partner. The single life should only open up more opportunities for relationships to develop.

Myth 2. Singleness is a waiting period. This is partially true; but when made the main focus, it actually becomes devastating. We’ve all heard about waiting for our ship to come in. It means that one of these days we’re going to get a big break (marriage), and then life will be more meaningful after that (close companionship, children, etc.) I think this is more of an intellectual problem than anything else. The difference comes when we change our mode of thinking. Instead of thinking about waiting, why not think about doing? Your single years can be some of the best years of your life, so why not get busy today?

Myth 3. If you’re single, other people should feel badly for you. Why do people tend to be sympathetic toward singles? Because single people ask for it. There are few examples of truly contented singles. Even under a pretense (伪称) of satisfaction, there lies a note of discontent and perhaps anger. Single women need to cultivate a proper attitude and choose to be cheerful.

Myth 4. The older you are, the less of a chance there is of getting married. Being younger definitely doesn’t mean more qualified. In fact, the longer you wait, the more advantages you may have. The longer the wait until you are married, the greater chance to refute (驳倒) this myth!

Myth 5. Not ever having had a young man interested in you should be cause for concern.

This myth is the root of why many women struggle with singleness. If they could have just one opportunity to turn down a date, the single life could be more bearable. Women who have never had a guy so much as look their way envy others who seem to have an endless supply of courtship partners. Think of this: romantic interest can be very disordered. So often what people call true love is only a passing fancy (no matter how long it may linger!). There are many men who seemingly have a romantic interest in a woman, when it is all really just an attraction. There are men who give attention to a woman so they can have their own ego flattered. Not all men are like this, but it happens more often than we think. Don’t think all attention is meaningful.