You, Dead, Are So Much Better Than Anyone Else Alive

 

 

D' Arline,

亲爱的阿琳，

I adore you, sweetheart.

我爱你，亲爱的。

I know how much you like to hear that

我知道你多喜欢听到这句话。

but I don't only write it because you like it

但我写这句话不是因为你喜欢，

I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

而是因为它让我全身暖暖的。

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you

距我上次给你写信已经过去了很久，

almost two years but I know you'll excuse me

快两年了，但我知道你会原谅我的。

because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

因为你了解我是多么的固执和现实，所以我觉得写信完全没有意义。

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do so what I have delayed in doing,

但现在我明白了，我一直迟迟不做的事情其实才是正确的事，

and that I have done so much in the past.

而且在过去我已经做了很多。

I want to tell you that I love you.

我想告诉你我爱你。

I want to love you. I always will love you.

我想爱你。我一直爱你。

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead

我很难理解在你死后爱你有何意义，

but I still want to comfort and take care of you

但我仍想安抚你，照顾你，

and I want you to love me and care for me.

我也想让你爱我，照顾我。

I want to have problems to discuss with you

我想和你讨论问题，

I want to do little projects with you.

我想和你一起做课题。

I never thought until just now that we can do that.

直到现在我才想到我们可以做这些，

What should we do.

我们本该一起做的。

We started to learn to make clothes together

我们开始一起学做衣服，

or learn Chinese—or getting a movie projector.

学汉语，或者去买个电影放映机。

Can't I do something now?

现在我自己不能做吗？

No. I am alone without you

不能，没有你我孤身一人。

and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

你是出点子的那个人，是我们所有疯狂冒险的发起者。

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed.

你生病时，你很担心你不能给我我想要的，因为你觉得我需要。

You needn't have worried.

你不必担心。

Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much.

正如我曾经告诉过你，我没有什么需要，因为我爱你的方式有很多种。

And now it is clearly even more true—you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else

现在看来这再正确不过了，现在你无法给予我什么，但我依然爱你，爱到我无法再爱别人。

but I want you to stand there.

我想让你站在这里。

You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

虽然你已死去，却强于任何活着的人。

 

 

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don't want to be in my way.

你肯定会认为我很愚蠢，你希望我获得幸福，不想妨碍我。

I'll bet you are surprised that I don't even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years.

我打赌你会很惊讶两年后我还没有女朋友（除了你，亲爱的）。

But you can't help it, darling, nor can I

但你控制不了，亲爱的，我也不能。

I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don't want to remain alone

我不懂，我遇到过很多女孩，非常好的女孩，我也不想单身。

but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes.

但两三次见面后，却发现她们都是虚有其表。

You only are left to me. You are real.

我只有你。你是真实的。

My darling wife, I do adore you.

我亲爱的妻子，我爱你。

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

我爱我的妻子，我的妻子去世了。

Rich.

理查

PS Please excuse my not mailing this—but I don't know your new address.

另外，请原谅这封信无法寄出，因为我不知道你的新地址。