Hi, how can I help you? And by that, I mean, what's the least I can do to help you?

有何能为您效劳的？我是指，在最不费力的范围内？

I'll have the burger with the fries.

我要来一份汉堡加薯条。

She'll have it with the salad.

把她的薯条换沙拉。

But I want the fries.

可是我想吃薯条。

Well, you want them, but you don't need them.

你想吃是一回事，但吃了会胖不健康。

Fine, the salad. I have to pee.

好吧，那就换成沙拉。我要去洗手间。

Hi, what's your name? David.

你好，你叫什么名字？大卫。

David, you should go.

大卫，你该滚了。

I'm sorry?

你什么意思？

You want her to have salad, she wants you to have hair. Neither one's gonna happen tonight.

你想她吃沙拉，她想你有头发。今晚这两件事都不会发生。

Yeah, it's not gonna work out between you and french fries. Oh, maybe it will for a week or a year.

你跟薯条妹不会有好结果的。或许能好个一周或一年。

Depends if she was molested as a kid.

如果儿时受虐过，就能忍比较久。

But one of these days, she's coming after you. Probably in the dark, probably with a knife.

但只要某天爆发了，她肯定跟你玩命。月黑风高夜，手里提着刀。

And she's gonna cut off one or both of your balls.

手起刀落，砍掉你一两颗蛋蛋。

And you won't think a side of fries matters when you have zero balls.

到时你就不会介意她点薯条了，因为你已是没蛋人。

She'll have the fries.

给她上薯条吧。

Yes, she will.

那是必须的。

Look at us. We saved another woman's dignity and another man's balls.

你看咱俩。守住了一个女人的尊严以及一个男人的蛋蛋。

Yeah, we're like Dr. Phil but more qualified.

我们就像是更合格版的菲尔医生。