双语·面纱 第五十章
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    Since the nuns were busy from morning till night with a hundred duties Kitty saw little of them but at the services in the bare, humble chapel. On her first day the Mother Superior, catching sight of her seated at the back behind the girls on the benches according to their ages, stopped and spoke to her.

    “You must not think it necessary for you to come to the chapel when we do,” she said. “You are a Protestant and you have your own convictions.”

    “But I like to come, Mother. I find that it rests me.”

    The Mother Superior gave her a moment's glance and slightly inclined her grave head.

    “Of course you will do exactly as you choose. I merely wanted you to understand that you are under no obligation.”

    But with Sister St. Joseph Kitty soon became on terms not of intimacy perhaps but of familiarity. The economy of the convent was in her charge and to look after the material well-being of that big family kept the Sister on her feet all day. She said that the only time she had to rest was that which she devoted to prayer. But it pleased her towards evening when Kitty was with the girls at their work to come in and, vowing that she was tired out and had not a moment to spare, sit down for a few minutes and gossip. When she was not in the presence of the Mother Superior she was a talkative, merry creature, fond of a joke, and she did not dislike a bit of scandal. Kitty stood in no fear of her, her habit did not prevent Sister St. Joseph from being a good-natured, homely woman, and she chattered with her gaily. She did not mind with her showing how badly she talked French and they laughed with one another over Kitty's mistakes. The Sister taught her every day a few useful words of Chinese. She was a farmer's daughter and at heart she was still a peasant.

    “I used to keep the cows when I was little,” she said, “like St. Joan of Arc. But I was too wicked to have visions. It was fortunate, I think, for my father would certainly have whipped me if I had. He used often to whip me, the good old man, for I was a very naughty little girl. I am ashamed sometimes when I think now of the pranks I used to play.”

    Kitty laughed at the thought that this corpulent, middle-aged nun could ever have been a wayward child. And yet there was something childlike in her still so that your heart went out to her: she seemed to have about her an aroma of the countryside in autumn when the apple trees are laden with fruit and the crops are in and safely housed. She had not the tragic and austere saintliness of the Mother Superior, but a gaiety that was simple and happy.

    “Do you never wish to go home again, ma soeur?” asked Kitty.

    “Oh, no. It would be too hard to come back. I love to be here and I am never so happy as when I am among the orphans. They're so good, they're so grateful. But it is all very well to be a nun(on a beau être religieuse), still one has a mother and one cannot forget that one drank the milk of her breasts. She is old, my mother, and it is hard never to see her again; but then she is fond of her daughter-in-law, and my brother is good to her. His son is growing up now, I should think they will be glad of an extra pair of strong arms on the farm; he was only a child when I left France, but he promised to have a fist that you could fell an ox with.”

    It was almost impossible in that quiet room, listening to the nun, to realize that on the other side of these four walls cholera was raging. Sister St. Joseph had an unconcern which conveyed itself to Kitty.

    She had a naïve curiosity about the world and its inhabitants. She asked Kitty all kinds of questions about London and England, a country, she thought, where so thick was the fog that you could not see your hand at mid-day, and she wanted to know if Kitty went to balls and whether she lived in a grand house and how many brothers and sisters she had. She spoke often of Walter. The Mother Superior said he was wonderful and every day they prayed for him. How lucky Kitty was to have a husband who was so good and so brave and so clever.

    第五十章

    因为修女们从早到晚忙着数不清的工作,除了在那座空荡、寒酸的小教堂里做礼拜的时候,凯蒂很少能见到她们。她第一天去小教堂,院长嬷嬷看到她坐在女孩子们后面,这些孩子是按照年龄的大小被安排在小教堂的长条凳子上的。院长嬷嬷停下脚步,走过来跟凯蒂说道:

    “我们必须来这所教堂时,你千万别认为自己也必须来。”她接着说,“你是一名新教教徒,你有自己的信仰。”

    “但是我愿意来,嬷嬷。我发现来这儿能让我休息和放松。”

    院长嬷嬷看了她一眼,稍微俯身凑近了她。

    “当然,你完全可以按照自己的选择去做,我是想让你明白,你没有责任和义务一定要去做什么。”

    凯蒂很快又遇见了圣约瑟夫修女,两人虽然谈不上有多亲密,但可以说彼此很熟悉了。整个修道院的财政大权都掌握在圣约瑟夫修女手上,她经常因为要料理一大家子人的日常花销而忙得团团转。她自称在虔诚祷告时才能休息片刻。然而,能让她开心的是,到了傍晚,当凯蒂和那些刚收工的女孩子一起来到教堂,她可以走上前来。圣约瑟夫修女发誓说她累坏了,但没有时间休息,这样她可以有理由坐下来休息几分钟,和凯蒂聊会儿天。她在院长嬷嬷不在跟前的时候总是很健谈,充满快乐,喜欢开玩笑,还热衷于聊点儿小道消息。凯蒂喜欢她天不怕、地不怕的性格,可以说对她的喜欢超过了对她的敬畏。而圣约瑟夫修女的兴趣爱好也不会妨碍她成为一个本性善良而平凡的女人。凯蒂和她高兴地聊着天,不介意向修女承认自己的法语讲得有多差,两人经常对凯蒂语言上犯的错误哈哈大笑。圣约瑟夫修女每天教凯蒂一些有用的中文词汇。她是农民的女儿,所以在内心深处,她还是一个纯朴的农民。

    “我小时候常常去放牛,”她说道,“就像圣女贞德一样。但是我不够圣洁,还不能在幻觉中看到美景。我想这也是不幸之中的万幸,如果我真看到了幻景,我父亲肯定会用鞭子抽我的,他过去常常打我,这个老家伙。我是个非常淘气的小姑娘,有时候回想起当初的恶作剧,还觉得不好意思哩。”凯蒂一想到这个胖胖的、已到中年的修女曾经是一个任性的孩子,就忍俊不禁。哪怕到了现在,她性格中还有些孩子气,常常能够感染你。她身上似乎有着秋天乡下的香气,也就是当苹果树结满果实,庄稼被收割装满谷仓时所散发出的乡土气息。她没有院长嬷嬷性情中的那种圣徒般的悲悯与苦修,但有一种朴素和幸福的乐观。

    “你从未想到过返回故乡吗,我的姐妹?”凯蒂问道。

    “哦,没有。回家太难了。再说我热爱这儿,我从来没有像在孤儿们中间那么开心过。他们是那么的善良,每个人都有一颗感恩的心。成为一名修女(我们一直虔诚地信奉宗教),我觉得挺好的,就像一个人有养育她的母亲,她不能忘记是吸吮她的乳汁长大的一样。我母亲的年纪很大了,恐怕我们无法再见面了。我心里也很难过。但她和儿媳妇相处得很好,我的弟弟对她也很孝顺,我的侄子现在也长大了,我想他们很高兴农庄里又多了一个帮手,我离开法国时,他还是个孩子,可他答应我会快快长大,好有足够的力气干农活。”

    听着圣约瑟夫修女聊着家常,你几乎不可能意识到,在这个安静屋子的四面墙壁之外,有可怕的霍乱正在肆虐。在凯蒂看来,圣约瑟夫修女就对它毫不在意。

    圣约瑟夫修女对这个世界和它的居民有着天真的好奇心,她问凯蒂关于英国和伦敦的各种各样的问题,她认为英国整天大雾弥漫,甚至在大白天都伸手不见五指。她想知道凯蒂是否经常去舞会,是否住在一所大房子里,有多少个兄弟姐妹。她还经常谈到沃尔特。院长嬷嬷说他人太好了,每天她们都会为他祈祷。凯蒂能有这么一个善良、勇敢、充满智慧的丈夫是多么的幸运!

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