Chapter 9 What Happened to Cunegund, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and the Jew

This same Issachar was the most choleric little Hebrew that had ever been in Israel since the captivity of Babylon.

“What，”said he，“thou Galilean slut?The Inquisitor was not enough for thee, but this rascal must come in for a share with me?”

In uttering these words, he drew out a long poniard, which he always carried about him, and never dreaming that his adversary had any arms, he attacked him most furiously；but our honestWestphalian had received from the old woman a handsome sword with the suit of clothes. Candide drew his rapier, and though he was very gentle and sweet-tempered, he laid the Israelite dead on the foor at the fair Cunegund's feet.

“Holy Virgin！”cried she，“what will become of us?A man killed in my apartment！If the peace-offcers come, we are undone.”

“Had not Pangloss been hanged，”replied Candide，“he would have given us most excellent advice, in this emergency；for he was a profound philosopher. But, since he is not here, let us consult the old woman.”

She was very sensible, and was beginning to give her advice, when another door opened on a sudden. It was now one o'clock in the morning, and of course the beginning of Sunday, which, by agreement, fell to the lot of My Lord Inquisitor.Entering he discovered the fagellated Candide with his drawn sword in his hand, a dead body stretched on the floor, Cunegund frightened out of her wits, and the old woman giving advice.

At that very moment, a sudden thought came into Candide's head.“If this holy man，”thought he，“should call assistance, I shall most undoubtedly be consigned to the fames, and Miss Cunegund may perhaps meet with no better treatment：besides, he was the cause of my being so cruelly whipped；he is my rival；and as I have now begun to dip my hands in blood, I will kill away, for there is no time to hesitate.”

This whole train of reasoning was clear and instantaneous；so that, without giving time to the Inquisitor to recover from his surprise, he ran him through the body, and laid him by the side of the Jew.

“Here's another fine piece of work！”cried Cunegund.“Now there can be no mercy for us, we are excommunicated；our last hour is come. But how could you, who are of so mild a temper, despatch a Jew and an Inquisitor in two minutes'time?”

“Beautiful maiden，”answered Candide，“when a man is in love, is jealous, and has been fogged by the Inquisition, he becomes lost to all refection.”

The old woman then put in her word：

“There are three Andalusian horses in the stable, with as many bridles and saddles；let the brave Candide get them ready. Madam has a parcel of moidores and jewels, let us mount immediately, though I have lost one buttock；let us set out for Cadiz；it is the finest weather in the world, and there is great pleasure in traveling in the cool of the night.”

Candide, without any further hesitation, saddled the three horses；and Miss Cunegund, the old woman, and he, set out, and traveled thirty miles without once halting. While they were making the best of their way, the Holy Brotherhood entered the house.My Lord, the Inquisitor, was interred in a magnifcent manner, and Master Issachar's body was thrown upon a dunghill.

Candide, Cunegund, and the old woman, had by this time reached the little town of Avacena, in the midst of the mountains of Sierra Morena, and were engaged in the following conversation in an inn, where they had taken up their quarters.

第九章　居内贡、老实人、大法官和犹太人的遭遇

自从以色列国民被移置巴比伦到现在，这伊萨加是性情最暴烈的希伯来人了[15]。

他说：“什么！你这加利利[16]的母狗，养了大法官还不够，还要我跟这个杂种平分吗？”

说着抽出随身的大刀，直扑老实人，没想到老实人也有武器。咱们这个威斯发里青年，从老婆子那儿得到衣服的时候也得了一把剑。他虽是性情和顺，也不免拔出剑来，教以色列人直挺挺地横在美丽的居内贡脚下。

她嚷起来：“圣母玛丽亚！怎么办呢？家里出了人命了！差役一到，咱们就完啦。”

老实人说：“邦葛罗斯要没有吊死，在这个危急的关头，一定能替咱们出个好主意，因为他是大哲学家。既然他死了，咱们去跟老婆子商量吧。”

她非常乖巧，刚开始发表意见，另外一扇小门又开了。那时已经半夜一点，是星期日了。这一天是大法官的名分。他进来，看见打过屁股的老实人握着剑，地下躺着个死人，居内贡面无人色，老婆子正在出主意。

那时老实人转的念头是这样的：“这圣徒一开口叫人，我就万无侥幸，一定得被活活烧死；他对居内贡也可能如法炮制。他多狠心，叫人打我屁股；何况又是我的情敌；现在我杀了人，被他当场撞见，不能再三心二意了。”

这些念头来得又快又清楚；他便趁大法官还在发愣的当口，马上利剑一挥，把他从前胸戳到后背，刺倒在犹太人旁边。

“啊，又是一个！”居内贡说，“那还有宽赦的希望吗？我们要被驱逐出教，我们的末日到了。你性子多和顺，怎么不出两分钟会杀了一个犹太人、一个主教的[17]？”

老实人答道：“美丽的小姐，一个人动了爱情，起了妒性，被异教裁判所打了屁股，竟变得连自己也认不得了。”

老婆子道：“马房里有三匹安达鲁齐马，鞍辔俱全；叫老实人去套好牲口；太太有的是金洋钻石；快快上马，奔加第士去；我只有半个屁股好骑马，也顾不得了；天气很好，趁夜凉赶路也是件快事。”

老实人立刻把三匹马套好。居内贡、老婆子和他三人一口气直赶了四五十里。他们在路上逃亡期间，公安大队到了那屋子；他们把法官大人葬在一所华丽的教堂内，把犹太人扔在垃圾堆上。

老实人、居内贡和老婆子到了莫雷那山中的一个小镇，叫作阿伐赛那。他们在一家酒店里谈了下面一段话。