英文
Chapter 18
The frst thing was that Finn had his former room arranged so that he and Hans could be there when Hans came to see him.
There was nothing said about it. For it was taken as a matter of course that no stranger should set foot in the old room. But Cordt at once thought that his hope in Hans was shattered.
Sometimes Finn was glad when Hans was there.
They could never talk together.
Hans' thoughts were constantly at work on plans and diffculties, the least of which seemed quite unsurmountable to Finn, and he had not the remotest idea as to what passed in his friend's brain. He talked to all men alike and his words were all questions or answers or opinions.
So it was Hans who spoke and, wholly taken up with himself as he was, he seldom noticed that Finn fell a-dreaming.
When Finn could get him to set to work on some calculation or other, he himself sat delighted and watched Hans while he struggled with fgures and drawings.
He was amused at Hans' wrinkled forehead, his eager, impatient movements. And he waited expectantly, like one sitting on a race-ground, or wherever else men are engaged in contest, for the shout with which the engineer would fling aside the pencil when the problem was solved.
Then Finn's face beamed with delight. He was as pleased as if it had been himself that had gained the triumph and he had no notion what sort of triumph it was or what it was worth.
But sometimes, and more and more frequently, Hans was too active, too restless for him.
There were days on which Finn hid when his friend called. Often, Hans' mere presence in the room occasioned him real bodily pain. He could feel half unconscious under his powerful glance, his voice, which was so loud and jolly, his words, which all meant something.
Then he sat tortured and wretched, because it was not possible for him to ask the other to go. And it was only seldom that Hans perceived this. When it did happen, there was no end to his awkward distress; and then Finn was not content before he had succeeded in persuading him that he was quite wrong.
Then Finn submitted, in the same way in which a hopeless invalid submits to a new cure which prepares new sufferings for him and in which he does not himself believe. And, while he suffered, he thought incessantly of his father, who suffered more than he did and whom he could not help.
His best time was when they were out together.
They drove and rode; and then they were never agreed, for Finn wanted to ride slowly and drive fast and Hans wanted just the opposite. They were always eager to accommodate themselves to each other, but this came to pass only when it was Finn's wish that prevailed.
Finn did not like going out. But, once he had started, he was glad; and then he always wanted to have Hans with him. He was shyin a crowd and his friend's presence reassured him.
They generally walked in the streets, for Finn felt cold if he went outside the town. Then he took Hans' arm and kept step with him and was proud of him. He liked to hear his strong voice through the noise of the street, his quick step, the tap of his stick on the pavement.
Then Finn would sometimes begin to talk.
Mostly of his travels. And he could speak of these almost as he thought and as he spoke to his mother. It was as though the life and the noise that half drowned his words made him feel freer and safer.
And, although Hans cared but little for what Finn had seen and talked about, still there was a color and a gleam about his words that captivated him.
But, when it happened that the noise in the street was suddenly stilled, then Finn was silent and frightened. And, if, for a moment, they were separated in the crowd and Hans failed to catch a sentence and asked him to repeat it, or seized upon some phrase and asked for a further explanation and confrmation, then Finn was forthwith tired and his mood changed.
He often stopped when a piece of street-life caught his attention. He pointed it out to his friend and made it the subject of his talk. Then Hans would underline his words with some racy observation or other, which amused Finn, but afterwards annoyed him, because it spoilt the picture for him.
They never talked about women.
Finn was silent, because his thoughts were vague and modest. And Hans' experiences were not of such a nature that he cared to talk about them. Then, also, they both had an instinctive feeling thatthey had less in common on this subject than on any other and that they did not wish ever to cross each other's path.
On one occasion only was Finn his friend's guest in his home.
It was a regular feast in the little rooms, high up under the roof, and Finn was glad to be there.
He looked in delight at the two little old people who stood and sat with folded hands and little bows and nods and did not know how to show their respect and gratitude to the young master of the house. They took it for granted, as a settled thing, that Finn must be vexed because Hans had broken with tradition and gone his own way and they made endless covert excuses for it.
And through the excuses rang their pride in the strong son whom they handled as cautiously as though he would fall to pieces if they took frm hold of him…their joyous dread of the greatness that awaited him.
Finn understood them and was touched by them. He sang his friend's praises and prophesied a preposterous success for him and was happy to read the gladness in the little parents' eyes.
And, while he was deep in conversation with them and amused at Hans, who was utterly confused that his friend should see the adoration of which he was the object, the picture of his own parents suddenly rose before his thoughts like great black silhouettes against the light background.
He stopped talking and then they all became silent and it was not pleasant in the room.
Afterwards, he stood with Hans and looked through the open window.
His eyes roamed over the hundreds of roofs. The sun shoneon the slates and the red tiles and lit up the telephone-wires. Little garret-windows stuck out on every side…with chintz curtains, with wall-fowers and geraniums and pelargoniums and yellow birds in white cages.
In one place there hung an elegantly-painted wooden box with ferns, which were quite brown, but stood proud and stiff, and a little fr-tree in the middle. In another, the curtain futtered right out into the air and waved and fapped like a fag. Here, two sparrows hopped about in the gutter…there, a caged bird was singing, shrilly and sweetly.
“How charming this is!”he said.
Hans did not exactly think so.
But, at that moment, Finn set eyes on a window a little to one side and so near that he felt as if he could reach across to it.
The window was open. There were fowers in it and there was a bird which hopped from perch to perch in its cage, silently and unceasingly. Behind the fowers sat a young girl sewing. He could see the back of her and a bit of her chin and hear the stitching of the sewing-machine:
“Look,”he said, in an undertone.
Hans came up and at once looked away again:
“That's Marie,”he said.“She's a seam-stress.”
There was nothing wrong either in the words or in the tone in which they were uttered. But he said it so loud and so carelessly that it hurt Finn. The girl opposite looked up and smiled.
Then something like a cloud passed over the whole picture, with the fowers and the bird and the sunny roofs. Finn sighed and came away from the window.
And, when they sat together at supper and had fnished eating, suddenly there fell upon him an insuppressible melancholy.
He looked from one to the other and read in their faces that they were subduing their gladness on his account. He imagined what it was like when the three were alone, busy and cheerful in their work and in their faith in one another.
And behind their kind words and smiles he felt the pity for their quiet guest. But he thought of this only as pity for Cordt and of himself as one who suffered blame.
Then he hurriedly took his leave.
中文
第十八章
为了迎接汉斯，芬做的第一件事就是重新整理他之前的房间，这样，汉斯来看芬的时候就有地方待了。
这样的安排没什么不正常的。因为理所当然，老屋子不能让陌生人踏入。但科特立刻觉得他寄托在汉斯身上的希望破碎了。
有时，芬对汉斯的到来感到很开心。
但他们无法在一起聊天。
虽然身在芬的房间里，但汉斯却一直在想着他工作的计划和所遇到的困难，其中最简单的对于芬来说都是无法被逾越克服的，而且，芬对他朋友脑袋里的想法一无所知。他跟所有人讲话的方式都一样，他说的话不是问题，就是答案或者他的意见。
因而，大多数情况下是汉斯讲话，而且当他讲话时会完全沉浸在自己的世界中，根本没有注意到芬开始白日做梦了。
当芬让汉斯做他自己的计算或是其他事情时，他会愉快地坐在一旁，看着汉斯与那些数字和绘图缠斗。
汉斯皱起的额头，还有那急切的、不耐烦的动作，都让芬觉得好笑。他好像坐在赛马场，或是人们参加竞技的地方，充满期待地等候着这位工程师在解决问题的那一刻将铅笔一扔并发出的兴奋的吼声。
芬的脸上洋溢着欢乐，就如同是他自己赢得了胜利那般喜悦，而他并不知道那是哪种胜利，也不知道这胜利意味着什么。
但有时，越来越频繁地，芬感到对他而言汉斯过于活跃急躁。
于是，有那么几日，当汉斯拜访芬时，芬会躲起来，而仅仅是汉斯的露面都会引起芬身体上的疼痛。汉斯那强大的眼神，那洪亮欢快的声音，还有他充满意义的话语，都让芬觉得晕眩。
芬坐在那里，满是痛苦和委屈，因为他无法让汉斯离开。而汉斯也很少会注意到这一点。当他注意到芬的情绪时，汉斯总是会陷入无限的自责和郁闷中；而芬必得说服汉斯，不是他想的那般。
然后，芬就屈服了，就像一个无助的病人屈服于一项新的治疗方法一样，然而随着这方法而来的必然有新的折磨。当他在备感折磨的时候，他不停地想起他的父亲，父亲承受的痛苦更多，而他却帮不了父亲。
芬最喜欢的时间是他们一起出去的时候。
他们驾车或者骑马。然而，两人却从未达成过一致，芬想要慢慢地骑马，快快地驾车，而汉斯则恰恰相反。他们总是渴望顺从对方，但每次都会依着芬的喜好。
芬虽然不喜欢外出，可一旦他真的去了，便会开心起来。而且他总是希望汉斯可以和他一起。芬在人群面前总是很羞涩，有他的朋友在场，会让他安心许多。
他们总是会在大街上走，因为如果出城，芬会觉得太冷。他会搂着汉斯的胳膊，跟随汉斯的步伐，心里默默地为他骄傲。芬喜欢在嘈杂的街道上听汉斯洪亮的声音，还有那有力的脚步声，以及他的拐杖点在路面上发出的声音。
芬有的时候会开口讲话。
大部分是关于他的旅行。他总是能把他的想法准确地表达出来，像他对他母亲讲话那样。似乎这样的生活，还有几乎淹没掉他声音的嘈杂声让他感到更自由安全。
虽然汉斯并不关心芬旅行中的所见所闻，但芬的语言带着色彩和微光，让他迷恋不已。
但当街上的噪音戛然而止，芬会立刻沉默并显得非常害怕。而且，若两人在人群中彼此分开一小会儿，且汉斯没有听到芬所讲的话，要求芬再重复一遍，或者他仅听到了只言片语，要求芬进一步解释或予以确认，芬会突然变得疲惫，心情立刻就变了。
芬会被街头生活吸引而停下脚步。他会指给朋友看，并以此作为聊天的话题。汉斯会接着芬的话讲，说一些挑逗的观察给芬听，这让芬觉得很有意思，但不久芬就觉得很懊恼，因为汉斯的话破坏了芬所看到的景色。
他们从来不讨论女人。
芬会沉默，因为他的想法模糊而保守。而汉斯的生活也不值得总被提及。而且，他们本能地知道，在这一话题上他们的共同点少之又少，且都不希望过分介入彼此的生活。
只有一次，芬去了汉斯的家里。
那是那间小屋里的一次常规宴请，芬很高兴去参加。
他欣然地看着两位矮小的老人，他们不论站着还是坐着都双手相叠微微鞠躬，不知如何向这房子的小主人表达敬意和感激。他们认定芬一定生气了，因为汉斯坏了规矩，选择了自己的未来，他们替汉斯百般解释。
然而他们的解释中无不透露着对自己小心呵护着的儿子的骄傲，好似如果不紧紧捧着他，他会掉下来摔得粉碎一样。
芬非常理解他们，被他们感动了。他把汉斯夸得不得了，预言汉斯将有大作为，当看到汉斯双亲眼中的欢乐时，芬自己也开心极了。
芬与汉斯的父母进行深入的交谈，听着他们表达自己对汉斯的爱，这情景让汉斯彻底困惑，而芬看着满脸迷茫的汉斯觉得十分可笑。
当芬停止讲话时，然后整个屋子都陷入沉默，情形尴尬。
后来，芬和汉斯站在房间里望向窗外。
芬的眼睛游荡在成百上千的屋顶之间，太阳照在石板上，还有那红色的瓦片上和发亮的电话线。每一面上，小小的阁楼窗户都自成一格，有的挂着印花棉布窗帘，种着天香竹和天竺葵，还有黄色的小鸟在白色的笼子里跳动。
有一个地方挂着一个有精美绘画的长着蕨类植物的木盒子，植物已经变成了铁棕色，但依旧骄傲挺直地站着，中间的地方还有一棵冷杉。在另一个地方，窗帘直接飘出窗外，挥舞飘荡如同一面旗帜。有两只麻雀在水槽里跳来跳去。还有一只关在笼子里的鸟在尖声而甜蜜地唱歌。
“这一切是多么美好！”芬说道。
汉斯并没有这么觉得。
但，在那个时候，芬注意到了靠旁边的一个窗户，这窗户离他那么近，好似他一伸手就可以够到。
窗户是打开的。房间里有鲜花，还有一只鸟在笼子里，安静而不停地从一处跳到另一处。在这些鲜花后面坐着一位缝纫的姑娘。芬可以看到她的后背，和一点儿她的脸蛋，还能听到缝纫机的声音。
“看。”芬压低声音说。
汉斯走了过来，立刻朝那个方向看去。
“那是玛丽，”他说，“她是个裁缝。”
其实，不论是这对话的内容，还是汉斯说话的语气都没什么不对劲的地方。但汉斯说得如此大声且毫无顾忌，以致伤到了芬。女孩此刻也闻声抬头看着他们，笑了笑。
于是，充满鲜花、小鸟以及温暖的屋顶的整个画面都被阴影遮住。芬叹了口气，从窗户旁走开了。
晚饭时，汉斯一家人和芬坐在一起，吃完饭，他们从芬身上感到一种不可抑制的忧伤。
芬看着他们每一个人的脸，知道他们都在为了他而克制各自的快乐。他想，如果他不在场，这一家子会忙碌而开心地沉浸在工作和对彼此的信任中。
在他们友好的话语和善良的微笑后，芬不禁开始为他这位安静的客人感到可怜。但他觉得他们更加为科特感到惋惜，而他自己则应当受到责备。
然后，芬匆匆地辞别了汉斯一家。
