Secrets of Super-Happy Couples

甜蜜恋人的保鲜秘诀

Why do some couples seem so head-over-heels? It's not that their lives are any easier or more perfect than yours-- but they do know how to keep the daily grind from eroding their relationship. Get some of what they have by incorporating these happy-couple strategies into your love life.

为什么有些恋人形影不离?那并不是因为他们的生活比你的容易或者完美，而是因为他们知道如何不让鸡毛蒜皮的事儿破坏他们之间的关系。让我们一起来学习他们的一些策略。

1. Fall in love all over again. Make a conscious decision to be in love. The more you act as if you are in love, the more you will feel like you are.

重新陷入爱河。刻意地让自己沐浴在爱河中。你表现得更像，你就会感觉得更多。

2. Remember the good times. Treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing together and add any new fantasies to the list. Plan for them and make them happen.

记住那些美好的时刻。像恋爱之初那样对待你的爱人。将你们过去常常一起乐于做的事情列张清单并添上一些新的想法。计划并实现这些想法。

3. Help your partner feel more loved and secure in your love so that he or she can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Compliment, praise, give a hug. Small gestures make the grandest statements.

让你的爱人感受到更多的爱。让他可以信任你并对你吐露心扉，而不用顾忌被伤害或被评价。不要吝惜你的称赞，表扬，拥抱。一个小小的举动胜过千言万语。

4. Don't make unilateral decisions. You're a team in many ways, so act like one. Check in and make decisions together about things large and small. Be willing to compromise.

不要做单边决定。你们是一个团队，所以做事就要像个团队。无论大事小事，两个人要一起讨论做决定并且都愿意妥协。

 

5. Be present. Train your mind to stay in the moment -- not at work, thinking about the new color you want to paint your kitchen, or how it's time to take the dog to the vet.

活在当下。使自己的大脑停留在现在，不要想着工作，想想你要为厨房涂刷的新颜色或者是否是时候去遛狗了。

 

 

 

 

 

6. Pay attention to your physical appearance. Take the time to stay in shape and look good for each other. It does matter.

注重自己的仪表。花点时间保持体形，打扮自己，窈窕的身形，姣好的面容谁看着都喜欢。

7. Boost your compatibility. Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different, whereas those who are in love zero in on their similarities and think their differences are cute. Build compatibility by taking turns planning activities to do together. If you don't like your partner's choice, don't complain; it's your turn next.

提升你们的共通性。身处危机的恋人总是聚焦于他们的不同点上，而那些沐浴爱河的恋人总是着眼于他们的相似点上并认为他们的不同点很是可爱。通过轮流计划两人共同参与的活动来提升共通性。如果你不喜欢恋人的主意，也不要抱怨，因为下次就是你的机会。

8. Do not place blame. Replace blame and criticism with solutions and tenderness.

Problem-solve together -- sit close, hold hands, touch each other's face or hair. Be playful. When was the last time you laughed together? Rent a comedy movie to tickle your funny bone.

不要责备。 将责备和批评化为解决问题和体贴。一起来解决问题，坐在一起，手握手，抚摸对方的脸或头发。开心点。上次你们一起开环大笑是什么时候?租一部喜剧片来一起傻乐。

9. Plan for sex. Spontaneity is great but smart couples know that good sex doesn't just happen. Like everything else, it takes time and planning.

为性生活做计划。水到渠成的性爱自然很好，但是聪明的恋人都知道完美的性生活不是凭空出现的。性爱和任何事情一样，都需要时间和计划。

 

10. Fact-find -- don't mind-read. You may think you know but you can't assume. You may believe he should know, but that's not fair, either. Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don't throw you both off course.

一定告诉他。你可能认为你知道，他也应该知道，但是你不能假设，那是不公平的。一定要清除误解和误会以确保你们俩不会发生冲突。

11. Fight fair -- and by appointment only.

Schedule a limited time to discuss a problem and confine your comments to that issue only. It's easier to relax and feel free to enjoy each other when you know you won't be ambushed by a litany of complaints and criticisms.

就事论事。按照约定。安排一个特定的时间讨论某问题并只对这一问题发表意见。当你们知道你们不会被一连串的抱怨和批评伤及时，你们也就更容易放松和自由地嬉闹。

12. Prepare for checkouts.

Even in the closest marriage, everyone needs time alone. Don't take it personally and don't make each other feel guilty if you need to spiritually and emotionally regroup. Just be sure to tell each other when you are checking out (max, one day) -- and when you're checking back in.

为彼此保留空间。即使是最亲密的婚姻关系，每个人也仍然需要时间独处。不要私人占有，也不要在与亲友共度时光时感到内疚。只要确保告诉对方你何时出去(最多一天)与何时回来。