Silent Love from a Quiet Dad 无言的父爱
◎ Adam
Many years ago, a baby boy came into this world. But unfortunately, he didn’t come with a cry, which was a big problem from the medical point of view. The doctor, tough and quick, turned the baby upside down and slapped his bottom sharply. The baby cried, and he survived. At that moment, the father yelled at the doctor, “Why did you hit my baby?” He did not realize that the doctor had saved the baby’s life. The baby cried and cried, and the father smiled and silently cried as well. He held the baby in his arms and did not allow the doctor to touch the baby anymore.
很多年前，一个男婴来到了这个世界。但遗憾的是，他没有“呱呱落地”，从医学角度来说，这是一个很大的问题！好在医生当时反应很快，也很强悍，一下子把男婴倒提起来，对着屁股一阵狂打。男婴终于哭了，脱离了生命危险。在那一刻，父亲对着医生吼道：“你为什么打我的孩子啊？”他并没有意识到医生救了这孩子的命。男婴不停地哭着闹着，这位父亲面带微笑，默默地流着幸福的眼泪。他把婴儿紧紧地抱在怀里，再也没有让医生碰一下。
Contest chair, ladies and gentlemen, that baby was me, and that man was my dad. Whenever my mom told people this story, I would always laugh aloud, and my dad would just shake his head and smile quietly.
大会主持人，女士们先生们，那个婴儿就是我，那个男人就是我老爸。每当妈妈告诉别人这个故事时，我总会放声大笑，而老爸则一边摇头一边默默地微笑。
Dad never tried to hug or kiss me when I was a child. And of course, he never said “I love you” to me, either. Maybe it’s a Chinese cultural thing, or maybe that’s the way my dad was. But whenever I felt defeated, sad or lonely, dad was always there. Dad was a man of few words, but I always liked to talk to him, and I could always feel a very special connection to him.
在我很小的时候，老爸从来不抱我，也从来不亲吻我。当然，他也从来不说“我爱你”这三个字。也许这是中国文化的问题，也许老爸就是这种人。但每当我受挫，伤心或孤独无助时，老爸总会在那里。他话不多，但我总喜欢有什么话都对他说，我总能感到和他之间那种无法言喻的特殊关系。
As I got older, I had a huge crush on a girl. She was tall and beautiful, with long hair. One day, I walked up to her and blurted out, “You are so beautiful baby. I love you so much. Please be my wife!” She was afraid and ran away with tears in her eyes. She told my teacher, and my teacher was so angry that she made me stay after school, and called my dad to take me home. My first love was over, and that year I was 7 years old.
等大一些的时候，我疯狂地爱上了一个女孩子。她又高又漂亮，还有一头长发。有一天，我终于忍不住了，走到她面前脱口而出：“亲爱的，你太漂亮了！我太爱你了！请你做我老婆吧！”没想到她被吓坏了，抹着眼泪跑开了，然后就告诉了老师。老师很生气，放学后没让我回家，并给老爸打电话，让他过来领人。我的初恋就这样夭折了，那年我7岁。
On the way home, dad was very quiet. It seemed that nothing had happened. Finally I broke the silence and asked him, “Daddy, did I do something wrong?” Dad paused for a while as he always did and said quietly, “Son, you did nothing wrong, except that it’s too early for you to pursuegirls.” “Daddy, do you think I could marry a tall and beautiful girl with long hair when I grow up?” I asked. Dad gave me one of his rare laughs and said, “Of course you could. You are so handsome! Just like your handsome father.” For the first time, I realized that dad had a sense of humor, although he was always quiet.
回家的路上，老爸非常沉默，好像什么事都没发生。最后我打破了沉默，问道：“爸爸，我做错什么了吗？”和往常一样，老爸沉默了一下，平静地说道：“儿子，你没做错什么，只是你这个年龄追女孩子还太早。”“爸爸，你觉得我长大了以后，能娶一个又高又漂亮，头发很长的老婆吗？”我又问道。老爸听了，难得地大笑了一下，说：“当然能了！你那么帅！跟你老爸一样帅！”我第一次感觉到，老爸虽然话不多，但还是有幽默感的。
When I was in high school, dad retired and set up a food stand on the street near my school. Dad was very good at making fried noodles, and a lot of people liked his noodles. Every day when I finished school, my classmates and I would pass his food stand. But I really hated talking to dad in front of his food stand, because I did not want my classmates to know that my dad was selling noodles on the street!
等我上高中的时候，老爸退休了，在离我学校不远的街边摆起了面摊儿。老爸很擅长做炒面，当时很多人都很喜欢他做的面。每天放学回家，我和同学们都要路过老爸的面摊。但那时候，我真的不喜欢站在小吃摊前和他说话，因为我不想让同学们知道我有一个在大街上摆摊卖面条的老爸。
One night, I couldn’t stand it any more and shouted, “Dad, could you stop selling your stupid noodles? I don’t need a father who sells noodles on the street!” At that moment, dad was shocked. He tried to say something but didn’t. When he turned his head away, something happened that I had never seen and would never forget for the rest of my life. His eyes were filled with tears and sadness. It was the first time that I saw dad crying. My mom later told me that dad was selling noodles to save money for my college education. I was such an idiot, and even today I still feel guilty for that night.
一天晚上，我再也忍不住了，朝老爸吼道：“爸爸，你能不能不再去卖面条？我不需要一个在大街上卖面条的父亲！”在那一刻，老爸惊呆了。他想要说点什么，但最终没有说。当他扭过头的时候，发生了一件事，我还从来没有见过这样的状况，我想我一辈子也不会忘记。他的眼里充满了泪水和哀伤。这是我第一次看到老爸流泪。后来妈妈告诉我，老爸摆摊卖面条是在为我上大学攒学费。我简直是个白痴！即使今天，我仍然为那天晚上的所作所为而感到内疚。
Time really flies. I finished college and then left my home city. For the past ten years, whenever I’ve visited home, dad was always there meeting me and seeing me off quietly at the railway station. Whenever he saw me off, he never tried to hug me or touch me, although I always expected a father’s hug. When I was away from home, dad never wrote or called me, but he always pushed my mom to call me. Whenever mom was calling me, dad would sit beside her with a list of questions. He would instruct mom to talk to me for him. That’s the way dad is, and that’s how dad shows his love to me.
时间飞逝。大学毕业后我就离开了我的家乡。在过去的十年中，每当我回老家，老爸总会默默地在火车站接我然后再送我。每当他在车站送我时，他从来不会拥抱我，也从来不会碰我一下，虽然我总是期待他能抱我一下。当我远在他乡时，老爸从来不写信给我，也从来不给我打电话。但他总是会催妈妈给我打电话。每当妈妈给我打电话时，老爸就会坐在她身边，准备好一系列问题，然后让妈妈帮他传话。老爸就是这样的，这就是他表达爱的方式。
I was married three years ago. Dad was very happy for me. And now he likes to tell people that his daughter-in-law is tall and beautiful, with long hair.
三年前我结婚了，老爸很为我感到高兴。现在他喜欢告诉别人，他的儿媳妇又高又漂亮，还留着一头长发。
Dad is still quiet, but I still feel a connection. Ladies and gentlemen, when a connection is deep and powerful, it lives in a place far beyond words, and it becomes something special—“a silent father’s love”.
老爸还是话不多，但我仍能感到和他之间的那种特殊的密切关系。女士们，先生们，当这种关系变得如此深厚，如此强烈时，它会根植于某处，再也无法用语言表达；它会变成一种特殊的情感——“无言的父爱”。
“A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.”
“父亲总是把他的女儿塑造成一个小女人。当她成了一个真正的女人时，他又不断地指引她前进。”
—Enid Bagnold
——巴格诺尔德
“It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all.”
“我不厌其烦地不断寻找父亲的影子。最后，我终于深深地享受并懂得了他的用心良苦。”
—Alice Walker
——爱丽斯·沃克
“None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of such a father who has not his equal in this world—so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don’t be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal.”—Victoria, Queen of England
“你可能从来没有因为世界上有这样一位伟大的、完美的父亲而自豪。努力吧，跟随他的脚步，不要气馁，因为你们都还没有达到像他那样的程度。我相信，将来你们会的，至少某一方面有点像他，而且你可以完全做到。” ——英格兰王后维多利亚
“That is the thankless position of the father in the family—the provider for all, and the enemy of all.”
“父亲在家里是个吃力不讨好的角色——既要养活全家，又受全家敌视。”
—J. August Strindberg
——斯特林堡
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”
“聪明的父亲都应该了解他们自己的孩子。”
—William Shakespeare
——威廉·莎士比亚
“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.” —Anne Sexton
“父亲是什么样的人并不重要，重要的是我心目中的父亲是什么样的人。” ——安妮·塞克斯顿
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”
“一个父亲比一百个校长还顶用。”
—English Proverb
——英国谚语
“To be a successful father... there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” —Ernest Hemingway
“作为一个成功的父亲……有一个绝对遵守的原则：当你有了小孩的时候，在头两年里不要给他们太大的压力。” ——海明威
“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”
“我们知道，当一个人慢慢长大成人的时候，他们开始慢慢变得像他的父亲。”
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”
“我想象不出还有什么比父亲的保护让一个孩子渴求得更强烈。 ”
—Sigmund Freud
——弗洛伊德
“I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.”
“我看到一个小个子的男人，用他长满老茧的双手，每天工作十五六个小时。我曾经看到，红红的鲜血从他的脚底下流出来。这个男人来到这里，没有受过教育，孤零零一个人，不懂当地语言。就是这个男人，单单以他的言行，教会了我需知道的一切，关于坚强的信念，关于辛苦劳作。”
—Mario Cuomo
——马里奥·库莫
“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” —Bill Cosby
“如果一个美国新爸爸感到有所困惑，甚至是被击败，那么，让他欣慰的是，他所做的任何孕育下一代的努力，有50％的概率是正确的。”——比尔·考斯比
“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!” —Lydia M. Child
“幸福，事实上就是一个男人听到许多温柔的声音叫他爸爸！” ——莉迪亚
