经典英语笑话100篇-3

In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the

bull’s testicles.

One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the

waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”

The waiter: “Today,

sir, the bull won.”

Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery.

The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery,

Lord!

The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord,

make me win the lottery!

Suddenly he hears a voice from above:

Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.

“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door

opens…”

“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a

serious discount on that car!”

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the

road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding

the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”

The husband: “Are

you mad? I barely know that woman!”

Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So

anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we

will bring you one.

Police: “Open the door!”

Man: “I don’t want any balls!”

Police: “What? We don’t have any balls!”

Man: “I know.”

In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can

you tell me how to throw the old one away?"

Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.

Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.

Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed

me yesterday?”

Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?”

Mr. Smith:

“I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”

Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in

through the window instead of the door.

本周热门