经典英语笑话100篇-5

Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the

manager! “

Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”

I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For

instance my name, address and telephone number!

I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out

of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can’t stop thinking about that

tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.

“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.”

“Oh come on. You just

want to get me to bed.”

“And smart, too!”

Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?

A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried

to sell me.

Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space?

To avoid scenarios

like: "Houston, we have a problem!"

"What is the problem?"

"Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a

bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The

man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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