1. Who is nuts?

In a hospital for mentally disturbed2 people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling3 from the ceiling4. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death.

The nurse said: "Doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!"

The doctor said: "No, you have to pull him down at once; otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."

After a pause, the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!"

Notes:

1. nuts （俚语）疯狂的，发疯的

2. mentally disturbed （委婉语）有精神病的，有智障的

3. dangle 垂，悬挂

4. ceiling 天花板

谁疯了

一家智障病院里，医师走进一个病人的房间，发现病人正吊在天花板上晃来晃去。医师怕病人会摔死，叫护士赶紧把病人拉下来。

护士说：“医生，这个病人每天都认为自己是一盏灯，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上。”

医师说：“不行，你还是得马上把他拉下来，免得他摔死。”

护士停顿了一下，说：“可是，如果我把他拉下来，灯不就熄了吗？”

Useful link:

“Mentally disturbed”也可写作“mentally disorder”，都是英语委婉语。诸如此类的委婉语还有“senior citizen（老年人）”“sanitary engineer（清洁工）”“meat technologist（屠夫）”等。