[视频文本]
When you are swept away by your emotions, it can be difficult to know the difference between true love and a passing crush. Here are some landmarks to steer you straight.

 

You Will Need
*Relationship
*Reflection

Step 1: Look at patterns 你们的感情怎样？
Look at recurrent patterns in the relationship. Is it characterized by drama, conflict, and bouts of infidelity? Are you concerned about how the two of you appear as a couple to others? Do you need your partner to measure up to standards that aren’t their own? If so, you’ve got a crush.

Step 2: Consider any fears 害怕被抛弃吗？跟他在一起没有安全感吗？
Pay attention to whether the relationship leaves you with fears of being abandoned, or terrified by your vulnerabilities. If so, it’s not the real thing.

Step 3: Be realistic 现实点儿。
Be realistic. Do you overly idealize your lover, finding them to be almost flawless? Do you have fantasies about spending the rest of your lives together even though you’ve just met? Does being together give you a strong emotional kick? If so, you’ve almost certainly got a crush.

Step 4: Consider sensuality 你们的感情是建立在欲望基础上的吗？
Ask yourself whether the relationship is rooted in sensuality, sex, taste, touch, sight, hearing, and smell. If so, it’s probably short-term. That doesn’t mean it can’t turn into true love, though.

Step 5: Understand long-term relationships 要知道什么才是长久的感情
Know that long-term relationships may begin with some or the same characteristics as short-term ones. But for a crush to turn into true love, the emotional fireworks must transition into friendship, and sexual attraction must become an adjunct to the total relationship, not the basis for it.

Plato argued that true love endures over space and time — for example, when two people are not together for a while.

Step 6: Consider commitment 你愿意为你们的感情做出承诺吗？
Give thought to how committed you are to the relationship. Does the relationship have a long history? Are you willing to forgive your partner’s faults? These are characteristics of true love.

Step 7: Consider level of concern 你对他关心到什么程度？
Ask yourself whether you have an abiding concern for the other person’s well-being. Are you there when they need you? Are they there when you need them? If so, it’s love.

In a Cosmopolitan magazine survey, nearly two-thirds of women reported being worried about making a bad choice and winding up divorced.

 

[重点讲解]

sensuality n. 好色；喜爱感官享受

The sensitive appetite is one generic power, and is called sensuality.

感性的欲望是一种普遍的力量，被称为感官感受性。

 

commitment n. 承诺，保证；委托

They give each other a gold ring to symbolize their marriage commitment.

他们互相赠送金戒指来表达他们对婚姻所做出的承诺。

 

reflection  n. 反射；沉思；映象

But, on reflection, I think I did the "young guy" a favour by not giving him a job.

但回想起来，我觉得自己没把这份工作给这个“年轻人”，是帮了他一个忙。