How to Write the Perfect First Message on an Online Dating Site

STEP 1 Keep it brief 内容要简短

Keep it brief. Research shows that online dating site users are turned off by first messages that are longer than 350 words -- especially men, who respond well to notes as short as 50 characters.

STEP 2 Ask "How's it going?" 询问“还好吗?”

Start your message off with "How's it going?" People generally respond more favorably to that greeting than "Hi," "Hey," or "Hello." "What's up?" does well, too.

STEP 3 Be grammatical用语要规范

Make sure your spelling and grammar are perfect; sounding illiterate is a huge turnoff. And avoid texting shortcuts like the letter u for the pronoun, and the letters u-r; they don't fare well in first messages, with the exception of "haha" and "LOL."

STEP 4 Be specific 内容要说的具体些

Include a few specific interests of yours; messages that do almost always get more responses than those that don't. And work in a positive reference to one of their passions; showing you read their profile can score you major points.

STEP 5 Avoid physical compliments 避免对身体的赞美

Avoid physical compliments, especially if you're a guy writing to a woman. Women don't like being told they're "sexy" or "pretty" by someone who's never met them; it comes across as insincere. Instead, use complimentary words like "cool" or "fascinating."

STEP 6 Don't sweat it 不要紧张

Don't worry about trying to write the perfect first message on an online dating site if you happen to be very good-looking. The genetically blessed get the highest rate of responses -- no matter what they write.