2017年5月托福写作真题回忆及范文赏析(一)
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      2017 年05 月06 日

      综合

      阅读:美国的一种叫auklet 的海鸟出现了die-off 的情况。

      1. 可能是由于在发生die-off 之前的夏天, auklet 的数量激增,导致对于食物的竞争加强,有些auklet 就饿死了。

      2. Auklet 可能接触sea stars 的时候,感染了sea stars 病毒,导致Auklet 死亡。

      3. 海水温度升高,导致zooplankton 的质量下降,而Auklet 是以zooplankton 为食的,所以受到了影响。

      听力:以上列举的没有一个能够解释auklet 的die-off.

      1. 竞争可能会导致一些auklet 的数量减少,但是不会导致这么多auklet 的死亡,并且食物和auklet 之前的平衡没有办法修复。

      2. 如果是少了病毒感染的话,那么auklet 会带有相应的病毒,但是研究发现,死去的auklet 上面并没有病毒存在。

      3. 其他的一些以zooplankton 为食的动物没有发生死亡现象。为什么只有auklet 出现了这个情况,这说不通。

      Sample Answer:

      The writer presents three reasons to explain why auklets in America died off. However, the professor demonstrates a different idea that these reasons are all unconvincing.

      To question the first reason presented in the passage that auklets might die from starvation because of their large population and the relative little food, the professor points out that the balance between the number of a species and the food availability could actually be balanced. Therefore, even we assume that auklets would need to compete with each other for food because the number of them had increased in the previous summer and some of them didn?t win that competition and died, the food then would be enough for those auklets that had remained alive. In this case, they would not completely die out.

      Another important point showed in the reading material is that auklets might be infected by some deadly virus from sea stars. But the professor presents a conflicting idea that scientist didn?t find this kind of virus in auklets? body. It is strange that they got infected by virus but didn?t had any in their body. The second reason in the reading passage is wrong again.

      Finally, the professor states that zooplankton still could not be the reason for auklets? die-off. Because there are other sea animals that also feed on zooplankton but they are not affected. This challenges the third theory made by the writer who says that the drop of zooplankton?s quality caused the die -off of auklets.(248 words)

      独立

      Do you agree or disagree: It is impossible to always be completely honest with your friends?

      Sample Answer:

      题目分析:同意不同意类中的单一论述题。话题与朋友相关,但是关键词除了friends 之外, impossible, always 和honest 都提示我们这个题目属于一个抽象类题目。所以我们采用抽 象题目具体化的方式展开思路。

      先确定总观点:

      同意 No matter in the past or at present, it is undeniable that people keep making friends through their life time. A large proportion of them hold a viewpoint that in order to maintain long-standing friendship with others, we should always be honest with them. This is understandable and in most cases, commendable. However, after careful consideration about friendship, being completely honest with friends is definitely impossible. Here are some reasons and examples to support my view.

      此题目与4 月15 号的独立题目属于同一话题,所以开头段第一句和第二句可以有所借鉴。 如果是不同的题目,第三句跟在普遍或是别人的观点之后,也可以有所保留。在表达总观 点上,添加确定性的副词增强语气。开头段末尾加上过渡句。

      First, for the sake of maintaining friendship with others, being honest unconditionally is the last thing in the world we should choose. For example, when a friend is in preparation for a really important English speech competition, it is meaningless to point out that he is not going to win that competition and he is wasting time if he spends time on it, even the truth is that he speaks terrible English and has no logic in writing his speech draft. As friends, we should not and cannot say so when we are given such situation. If you do choose being honest in this case, this friendship will possibly be over and that friend?s feelings will be hurt so badly that he may blame you. Alternatively, you can help him practice his oral English and together with him correct the mistakes in his speech draft, rather than being so honest that sacrifice your friendship with him.

      本段的分论点是为了维护友谊,不能一直完全诚实。但是因为此分论点也较为抽象,所以 论证部分全部用的举例。在分论点的道理比较显而易见或者是不好说理论证的时候,全部 举例不失为一种好方法。

      Second, considering the characteristic of friendship, sometimes we cannot be completely honest with friends in terms of our own issues. For example, the password of our bank account should be avoided to tell friends. And the financial situation is not something we ought to be honest with them. What is more illustrating, the fact that you hate your boss cannot be shared with your friends from work and you think someone you and your friend both know is not a kind person cannot be shared with that friend. The former may very much likely get you be fired and the latter may possibly lead that two people to defriend with you. Similarly, when your break up with your girlfriend, it is unnecessary to be honest with your friends about the reason. And when you are sick or bankrupt, you cannot tell any friend that you need help. Doing so will only make your friends leave you unless they are bosom ones who are willing to sacrifice time and their hard-earned money to help you out. As we can see from above explanation, it is impossible and not beneficial to always be completely honest with friends.

      本段的分论点自身的某些事情,不应该也不能够对朋友完全诚实。跟上段一样,论述部分 是举例,但是为了跟上一个主体段的论述方法区别开来,采用了归纳法中的举例方式,也 就是用一些相关相似的小事实,得出分论点的结论,而非具体举例了。

      But I am not saying that we should not be honest with friends. Being honest is respectable and may also bring some benefits to both of the two friends and contributes to the friendship sometimes. For example, if you points out the shortage of your friend honestly, he may overcome that shortage and become a better man, which in turn, will enhance your friendship with him since he will appreciate you for this. Unfortunately, things will not always going like this, especially when you have embarrassed him while being honest with your friend. And regarding personal issues, being completely honest with friends sometimes is showing trust and intimacy; nevertheless, doing so is also filling your friends? life with trivial things to deal with. As time goes by, that friend may feel too exhausted to be friend with your anymore. Then, you will have no friend to be honest with.

      辩证段体现辩证思维。

      All in all, it is stupid to always tell the truth in friendship and doing so is in effect impossible. Considering the particular nature of friendship, being reserved with friends is more practical and contributable. But lying to friends is by no means a wise choice and it is better for us to not say anything rather than lie to them when something is not suitable for them to know.

      结尾段总结要点,末尾加上建议。

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