他抬起眼，他的神情里充满了渴望和恳求。
"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"
“即使是我们中最坚强的人也会旧瘾复发，不是吗?”
"What are you asking? My permission?" My voice was sharper than I'd intended. I tried tomake my tone kinder — I could guess what his honesty must cost him. "I mean, is there nohope, then?" How calmly I could discuss my own death!
“你在询问什么?我的许可吗?”我的声音比我本来计划的还要尖锐。我试图让自己的语气更友好些——我能猜得出来，他的诚实一定折磨着他。“我是指，已经没有希望了，对吧?”我居然能如此冷静地谈论自己的死亡!
"No, no!" He was instantly contrite. "Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't…" Heleft the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. "It's different for us. Emmett… these werestrangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as… practiced, as careful,as he is now."
“不，不!”他立刻懊悔不已。“当然有希望!，我是说，我当然不会……”他把那个没说完的句子晾在了一旁。他的目光灼烧着我的眼睛。“这对我们来说不一样。艾美特……那两个只是他偶然遇到的陌生人。那已经是很久以前的事了，那时他还不够……不能够像现在这样那么有经验，那么谨慎。”
He fell silent and watched me intently as I thought it through.
他陷入了沉默，专注地看着我。我思考着，然后得出了结论。
"So if we'd met… oh, in a dark alley or something…" I trailed off.
“所以如果我们的初见是在……哦，在一条黑暗的小路上，或者别的什么地方……”我的声音渐渐低了下来。
"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and —" Hestopped abruptly, looking away. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everythingCarlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last,well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." He paused, scowling at thetrees.
“我竭尽全力克制自己，才没有在那间坐满了孩子的教室正中间跳起来——”他突兀地停下来，看向别处。“当你从我身旁走过时，我差点就要毁掉了卡莱尔为我们苦心筑造的一切，就在那一刻，就在那里。要不是我最终克制住了自己的渴望，好吧，要不是那么多年来我都克制着，我肯定无法阻止自己。”他停下来，阴沉着脸注视着那些树。
He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. "You must have thought I was possessed."
他冷酷地看了我一眼，我们都在回想着。“你那时一定认为我疯了。
