知道他是为了我才这样大声说话，也是件让人困扰的事。
After another warm smile for me, Carlisle left the room.
卡莱尔再次向我温和地一笑，然后离开了房间。
I stared at the little picture of Carlisle's hometown for a long moment.
我看着这张小小的关于卡莱尔的家乡的图画，看了许久。
"What happened then?" I finally asked, staring up at Edward, who was watching me. "When herealized what had happened to him?"
“后来发生了什么?”我最终问道，抬头看着爱德华，他正注视着我。“在他意识到自己发生了什么事以后?”
He glanced back to the paintings, and I looked to see which image caught his interest now. Itwas a larger landscape in dull fall colors — an empty, shadowed meadow in a forest, with acraggy peak in the distance.
他看回了那些油画上，而我看到了是什么样的图画吸引了他的兴趣。那是一张更大的风景画，用各种黯淡的秋色画成的——森林中的一片空荡荡的，晦暗的草地，远处是一座险峻的山峰。
"When he knew what he had become," Edward said quietly, "he rebelled against it. He tried todestroy himself. But that's not easily done."
“当他知道自己变成了什么以后，”爱德华安静地说道。“他十分厌恶这一点。他试图毁灭自己。但这不是件容易的事?”
"How?" I didn't mean to say it aloud, but the word broke through my shock.
“怎样?”我并不是有意要这样大声地说出来的，但这些话在震惊中冲口而出。
"He jumped from great heights," Edward told me, his voice impassive. "He tried to drownhimself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that hewas able to resist… feeding… while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, ittakes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to killhimself with starvation."
“他从很高的海拔上跳了下来。”爱德华告诉我，他的声音很冷淡。“他试图把自己溺死在海里……但他刚刚经历了新生，非常年轻，也非常强壮。最惊人的是他居然能够忍耐住……不进食……在他还是新手的时候。那时那种本能会更为强烈，几乎可以征服一切。但他是如此地厌恶自己，他的信念是如此地坚强，居然想要饿死自己。”
"Is that possible?" My voice was faint.
“这可能吗?”我的声音很微弱。
"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."
“不，没有多少方法能杀死我们。”
I opened my mouth to ask, but he spoke before I could.
我张开嘴想要提问，但在我出声以前他就说话了。
"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the humanpopulace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered bynight, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.
“所以他非常的饥饿，而且最终虚弱起来。他在远离人群的地方流浪，他认识到自己的意志力也在变得薄弱。一连好几个月他在夜里游荡着，寻找着最孤寂的地方，嫌恶着自己。”
