但你知道么：我的方式已经完蛋了，完全无效。
I've never had a successful relationship with a guy thatI've pursued.
我追求过的人从来没有好结果。
I'm sure there are many stories out there to thecontrary.
我相信有很多相反的故事。
But for me, those guys end up getting back togetherwith their ex-girlfriend, needing to take some time forthemselves, or going out of town for business.
但对我来说，那些最终和他们的前女友一起的人，需要花些时间在自己身上，或者离开城市去做生意。
Usually it doesn't even get that far. They usually just don't ever return my phone call.
通常维持不了多久。他们甚至就是不回我的电话。
And let me tell you, that didn't make me feel very in control of anything.
让我来告诉你，这并没有让我感到绝对的控制权。
Since I've been implementing Greg's handy-dandy “he's just not that into you” philosophy, I've beenfeeling surprisingly more powerful.
自从我开始执行格雷戈的神奇的“他其实没那么喜欢你”的理念，我一直感到惊讶多于强大。
Because if the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, arethe one in control.
因为如果是男人在约你出去，如果是男人想得到你的关注，那么事实上你处于控制地位。
There's no scheming and plotting.
不需要策划和谋划。
And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be aboutmy life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so thatit doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out.
知道自己唯一的工作是尽可能的幸福生活让人感觉很棒，我可以感受最好的自己，尽可能过着多彩的生活，那样就不会觉得我只是在等待某个人约我出去了。
And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot andbeg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.
最重要的是，这对我们都很好，我们都要记住，我们不需要计划和阴谋，并乞求得到别人来要约我们出去。我们真是太棒了。
This is What It Should Look Like, by Greg
这就是事情本来的模样，格雷格
One night I was drinking in a bar and flirting with the bartender. I asked for her number.
一天晚上，我在酒吧里喝酒，跟酒保调情。我向她要号码。
She said, “I don't give out my phone number because guys rarely call me when they say they'regoing to.
她说，“我不给男人我的电话号码，因为他们说会打电话给我事实上却很少打。
My name is Lindsey Adams, and if you want to call me, find my phone number.”
我的名字是琳赛亚当斯，如果你想打给我就去找我的电话号码。”
Which I did—the very next day.
我第二天就这么做了。
Do you know how many Lindsey Adams there are in the phone book of a major city?
你知道一个大城市的电话簿上有多少个琳赛亚当斯吗?
Let's just say I talked to about eight or nine before I found mine.
我打了8、9个电话才找到那个对的。
An actor we work with met a girl while he was making a public appearance on an aircraft carrier.
和我们一起工作的一个演员在一艘航空母舰上做公开露面时遇见了一个女孩。
He lost track of her in about ten minutes.
他在十分钟左右失去了她的踪迹。
And yet, because he was so smitten, he somehow managed to track her down in the army, andthey are now married.
然而，由于他完全被迷住了，他设法在军队里追踪到她，现在他们结婚了。
