上周我就在电视里谈论过这个。我总是逃离现实生活而沉浸于绚丽多姿的幻界，这是由于我不幸福的童年导致的。
I come from a poor family. My father worked atConey Island. He had a concession on theboardwalk, where you knock over milk bottles with baseballs, which I could never do for myentire childhood.
我来自于一个贫穷的家庭。我父亲在科尼岛上工作，他在博德沃克大街上经营着一小块游乐场，就是那种你可以在里面拿着棒球击倒牛奶瓶的地方。可是在我整个童年中，我一次也没有击倒过。
There was a tidal wave at Coney Island, when I was a child, ripped up the boardwalk and didabout a million dollars worth of damage, houses and everything.
有一次巨浪冲上了科尼岛，那时我还是个孩子，冲毁了整条博德沃克大街，造成了约一百万美元的损失，房屋等等的一切被冲个干净。
The only thing left standing was those little milk bottles, y'know.
你知道，唯一屹立不倒的东西就是那些小小的奶瓶。
I was, I would say, over-disciplined which is really humiliating. I had to be home nine thirty,prom night.
可以这么说，我被管教得过于服服帖帖，这真的很丢人。我必须九点半回家，还是毕业舞会的晚上。
I made a reservation at the Copa Cabana for five o'clock.
我在“科巴卡巴纳夜总会”预订了一个五点钟的桌子。
I took my date and we watched them set up.
我带着约好的女生去那里，看他们布置场地。
I was, as a matter of fact, when I think of it, terrorized as an adolescent. I was not thatyoung when it happened, I was...I guess about thirteen or so at the time, and was on my wayto an amateur music contest.
说实话，回想起那件事我当时真的吓坏了，我还是个青少年，也不算很小了，我想当时大概十三岁左右，事情发生在我去参加业余音乐比赛的路上。
And, my family is musical, you should know that, my father used to play the tuba as a youngman, he tried to play the tuba, he tried to play "Flight of the Bumblebee", and blew his liver outthrough the horn.
我们家很喜欢音乐，你们应该知道，我父亲在他年轻的时候吹过大号，他想学吹大号，他想吹《野蜂飞舞》，差点没把肝脏从喇叭口吹出来。
Now I'm on the subway with my clarinet Jerry jazz musician style, unwrapped and everything,and these twelve guys come running through the subway. Really hairy-knuckled types, y'know,raced through there.
我当时正坐在地铁里，带着我的单簧管，学着杰瑞爵士音乐家的样子。这时有十二个家伙在地铁上跑了过来，真的是那种连指关节上都长毛的家伙，争先恐后。
Apparently they just come from a settlement house, y'know' as they were dribbling a socialworker as they went through the car.
显然他们是刚从“社团之家”【1】出来，你知道，因为当他们跑过车厢时，拿一个社会义工当运球玩。
They stop right over me, y'know, because I was conspicuous, 'cause I had just eaten a sea-food lunch, I had forgotten to remove the lobster bib, y'know.
他们到我跟前就停住了，因为我看上去比较抢眼，因为我中饭刚吃了海鲜，忘了把围兜摘下来。
So I looked like a farmer with a fat tie, y'know, with Neptune on it.
因此我看起来就像个乡巴佬，戴着一条硕大的领带，上面还画着海神尼普顿。
They stand over me, they start cursing and smoking and tearing up seats, y'know.
他们站在我旁边，开始骂骂咧咧，一边抽着烟一边撕扯坐垫。
I don't say anything, y'know, I just sit there, look down, continue reading 'Heidi'.
我一声不响坐在那里，低着头，继续读我的《海蒂》【2】。
All of a sudden the leader puts his finger under my neck, like this, and goes...
突然之间，他们的头目把手指放到了我脖子下面，就像这样，然后一提。
I got up. He snapped his knee up, quickly, and I refused to give him the satisfaction ofdoubling over.
我站起身。他弯曲膝盖，猛地一抬，动作非常快。我拒绝朝前弯下身子，让他看我的笑话。
But I did one of the greatest imitations of Lily Ponds, you've ever heard. I hit an M over high C.
不过我的确发出了你可能听到过的最厉害的对莉丽·庞斯【3】的模仿。我触到了高音C之上的M调。
Showed up an hour late for the music contest. Came in second anyhow.
音乐比赛迟到了一个小时，不过我仍然拿了个第二。
I won two weeks at Interfaith Camp, where I was sadistically beaten by boys of all races andcreeds.
我赢得了参加两周“信仰交互营”【4】的机会，在那里我被所有不同种族和不同信仰的男孩们暴打。
【1】英国和美国的社会慈善组织，举办社交、教育和艺术等的活动。
【2】瑞士儿童文学女作家约翰娜·施毕利的代表作，被改编成各种艺术形式而历久不衰。
【3】莉丽·庞斯，法裔美籍花腔女高音歌唱家。
【4】为了给具有不同背景、不同信仰的青少年提供同吃、同住、同玩、共同成长的机会而举办的集体营。
