Heal the Children, Heal the World 拯救儿童，拯救世界
——Micheal Jackson 迈克尔·杰克逊
[00:02.61]Thank you dear friends,
[00:03.65]from the bottom of my heart,
[00:06.37]for such a loving
[00:07.23]and spirited welcome,
[00:09.01]and thank you, Mr. President,
[00:10.48]for your kind invitation to me
[00:12.53]which I am so honored to accept.
[00:15.21]I also want to express
[00:16.46]a special thanks to you Shmuley,
[00:18.40]who for 11 years
[00:20.07]served as Rabbi here at Oxford.
[00:22.59]You and I
[00:23.29]have been working so hard
[00:24.70]to form Heal the Kids,
[00:26.44]as well as writing our book
[00:27.95]about childlike qualities,
[00:29.52]and in all of our efforts
[00:30.88]you have been such a supportive
[00:32.62]and loving friend.
[00:46.17]And I also want to thank Toba Friedman,
[00:48.78]our director of operations
[00:50.05]at Heal the Kids,
[00:51.09]who is returning tonight
[00:52.89]to the alma mater
[00:54.06]where she served as a Marshall scholar,
[00:56.47]as well as Marilyn Piels,
[00:58.58]another central member
[00:59.88]of our Heal the Kids team.
[01:01.84]I am humbled
[01:03.39]to be lecturing in a place
[01:05.59]that has previously been filled
[01:07.49]by such notable figures
[01:09.18]as Mother Theresa,
[01:10.79]Albert Einstein,
[01:12.88]Ronald Reagan,
[01:14.32]Robert Kennedy
[01:15.91]and Malcolm X.
[01:17.80]I've even heard
[01:18.55]that Kermit the Frog
[01:19.46]has made an appearance here,
[01:22.49]and I've always felt
[01:22.88]a kinship with Kermit's message
[01:25.10]that it's not easy being green.
[01:29.35]I'm sure he didn't find it
[01:31.61]any easier being up here than I do!
[01:34.93]As I looked around Oxford,
[01:36.56]I can't help
[01:37.37]but be aware of the majesty
[01:40.17]and grandeur of this great institution,
[01:44.26]not to mention the brilliance
[01:46.14]of the great and gifted minds
[01:49.39]that have roamed these streets
[01:50.90]for centuries.
[01:52.40]The walls of Oxford
[01:54.09]have not only housed the greatest philosophical
[01:56.25]and scientific geniuses
[01:58.40]they also have ushered forth
[01:59.74]some of the most cherished
[02:01.68]creators of children's literature,
[02:04.70]from J.R.R. Tolkien
[02:06.62]to C.S. Lewis.
[02:08.10]Lewis Carroll's Alice in wonderland
[02:10.17]is immortalized
[02:11.63]in the stained glass windows
[02:12.52]in Christ Church.
[02:14.67]And even one of my own fellow Americans,
[02:16.97]the beloved Dr. Seuss,
[02:19.51]he graced these halls
[02:21.38]and then went on to leave his mark
[02:23.13]on the imaginations
[02:24.10]of millions of children
[02:25.40]throughout the world.
[02:27.95]I suppose I should start by
[02:30.23]listing my qualifications
[02:31.84]to speak before you this evening.
[02:34.63]Friends,
[02:36.13]I do not have to claim
[02:39.08]the academic expertise of other speakers
[02:43.03]who have addressed this hall,
[02:45.16]just as they could lay little claim
[02:47.23]at being adept at the moonwalk
[02:51.31]and you know,
[02:52.28]Einstein in particular
[02:53.54]was really terrible at that.
[02:56.90]But I do have a claim
[03:00.03]to having experienced
[03:01.06]more places and cultures
[03:02.48]than most people will ever see.
[03:05.16]Human knowledge consists
[03:06.14]not only of libraries
[03:07.37]of parchment and ink
[03:09.22]it is also comprised
[03:10.32]of the volumes of knowledge
[03:12.23]that are written on the human heart,
[03:14.10]chiseled on the human soul,
[03:15.99]and engraved on the human psyche.
[03:18.22]And friends,
[03:19.36]I have encountered so much
[03:23.62]in this short lifetime
[03:25.87]of mine that I still cannot believe
[03:27.61]that I am only 42.
[03:30.66]I often tell Shmuley
[03:32.38]that in soul years
[03:33.75]I'm sure that I'm at least 80
[03:36.61]and tonight I even walk like I'm 80!
[03:41.52]So please harken to my message,
[03:43.62]because what I have to tell you tonight
[03:45.14]can bring healing to humanity
[03:47.25]and healing to our planet.
[03:49.69]Through the grace of God,
[03:51.92]I have been fortunate
[03:53.00]to have achieved many of my artistic
[03:54.91]and professional aspirations
[03:57.09]realized early in my lifetime.
[03:58.47]But these, friends,
[04:00.37]are accomplishments,
[04:02.04]and accomplishments
[04:03.69]alone are not who I am.
[04:07.01]Indeed, the cheery five-year-old
[04:08.97]who belted out Rockin' Robin
[04:10.39]and Ben to adoring crowds
[04:14.00]was not indicative
[04:15.92]of the boy behind the smile.
[04:17.63]Tonight,
[04:18.47]I come before you less as an icon of pop
[04:21.35]whatever that means anyway
[04:23.99]and more as an icon of a generation,
[04:28.22]a generation
[04:28.94]that no longer knows what it means
[04:30.02]to be children.
[04:32.88]All of us are products of our childhood.
[04:35.96]But I am the product of a lack
[04:37.38]of a childhood,
[04:39.15]an absence of that precious
[04:41.22]and wondrous age
[04:42.94]when we frolic playfully
[04:44.44]without a care in the world,
[04:46.19]basking in the adoration
[04:47.55]of parents and relatives,
[04:49.51]where our biggest concern is studying
[04:51.38]for that big spelling test
[04:53.14]come Monday morning.
[04:55.26]Those of you who are familiar
[04:56.66]with the Jackson Five
[04:58.27]know that I began performing
[04:59.87]at the tender age of five
[05:01.86]and that ever since then,
[05:03.45]I haven't stopped dancing or singing.
[05:05.19]But while performing
[05:07.20]and making music undoubtedly
[05:08.83]remain as many of my greatest joys,
[05:12.83]when I was young
[05:14.01]I wanted more than anything else
[05:16.56]to be a typical little boy.
[05:18.89]I wanted to build tree houses,
[05:21.56]have water balloon fights,
[05:23.01]and play hide and seek with my friends.
[05:25.57]But fate had it otherwise
[05:27.86]and all I could do
[05:28.80]was envy the laughter and playtime
[05:29.95]that seemed to be going on all around me.
[05:33.30]There was no respite
[05:35.12]from my professional lifetyle.
[05:36.56]For on Sundays
[05:37.66]I would go Pioneering,
[05:39.40]the term used for the missionary work
[05:41.67]that Jehovah's Witnesses do.
[05:43.90]And it was then
[05:44.95]that I was able to see the magic
[05:47.59]of other people's childhood.
[05:50.18]Since I was already a celebrity,
[05:52.73]I would have to put on a disguise
[05:54.71]of fat suit,
[05:55.73]a wig,
[05:56.97]a beard
[05:58.07]and glasses
[05:59.60]and we would spend the day
[06:00.88]in the suburbs of Southern California,
[06:02.89]going door-to-door
[06:04.21]or making the rounds of shopping malls,
[06:06.05]distributing our Watchtower magazine.
[06:10.49]I loved to set foot
[06:12.00]in all those regular suburban houses
[06:13.71]and catch sight
[06:14.71]of the fireplaces
[06:15.89]and La-Z-Boy armchairs
[06:17.46]with kids playing Monopoly
[06:18.99]and grandmas baby-sitting
[06:20.43]and all those wonderful,
[06:22.00]ordinary and starry scenes
[06:24.16]of everyday life.
[06:26.29]Many, I know,
[06:27.73]would argue
[06:28.63]that these things seem like no big deal.
[06:31.24]But to me they were mesmerizing.
[06:37.04]I used to think
[06:38.22]that I was unique in feeling
[06:40.17]that I was without a childhood.
[06:42.48]I believed that indeed
[06:43.81]there were only a handful of people
[06:45.43]with whom I could share those feelings.
[06:48.31]When I recently met
[06:49.23]with Shirley Temple Black,
[06:50.81]the great child star of the 1930s and 40s,
[06:54.58]we said nothing to each other
[06:56.20]at first,
[06:57.73]we simply CRIed together,
[07:00.85]for she could share a pain with me
[07:03.65]that only others like my close friends
[07:05.92]Elizabeth Taylor
[07:07.00]and McCauley Culkin could.
[07:09.62]I do not tell you this
[07:11.89]to gain your sympathy
[07:13.33]but to impress upon you my important point
[07:16.15]It is not just Hollywood child stars
[07:18.74]that have suffered
[07:19.58]from a nonexistent childhood.
[07:21.64]Today, it's a universal calamity,
[07:24.26]a global catastrophe.
[07:26.34]Childhood has become
[07:27.80]the great casualty of modern-day living.
[07:30.87]All around us we are producing scores
[07:33.37]of kids who have not had the joy,
[07:35.77]who have not been accorded the right,
[07:38.09]who have not been allowed the freedom,
[07:39.99]or knowing what it's like to be a kid.
[07:43.62]Today's children are constantly
[07:45.40]encouraged to grow up faster,
[07:47.86]as if this period known as childhood
[07:49.80]is a burdensome stage,
[07:51.83]to be endured and ushered through,
[07:53.94]as swiftly as possible.
[07:56.15]And on that subject,
[07:57.45]I am certainly one of the
[07:58.85]world's greatest experts.
[08:01.47]Ours is a generation
[08:02.88]that has witnessed
[08:03.95]the abrogation
[08:04.91]of the parent-child covenant.
[08:06.16]Psychologists are publishing
[08:09.01]libraries of books
[08:10.69]detailing the destructive effects
[08:12.22]of denying one's children
[08:13.54]the unconditional love
[08:15.18]that is so necessary
[08:16.45]to the healthy development
[08:17.70]of their minds and character.
[08:20.62]And because of all the neglect,
[08:22.72]too many of our kids essentially
[08:24.28]have to raise themselves.
[08:26.74]They are growing more distant
[08:29.14]from their parents,
[08:30.30]grandparents
[08:31.59]and other family members,
[08:33.16]as all around us
[08:34.78]the indestructible bond
[08:36.12]that once glued together the generations,
[08:38.48]unravels.
[08:40.81]This violation has bred a new generation,
[08:44.56]Generation O,
[08:46.45]let us call it Generation O,
[08:48.78]that has now picked up
[08:49.92]the torch from Generation X.
[08:52.33]The O stands for a generation
[08:54.04]that has everything on the outside
[08:56.03]wealth, success,
[08:58.75]fancy clothing
[09:00.96]and fancy cars,
[09:03.25]but an aching emptiness
[09:05.69]on the inside.
[09:07.72]That cavity in our chests,
[09:09.37]that barrenness at our core,
[09:11.62]that void in our centre
[09:13.08]is the place
[09:14.22]where the heart once beat
[09:16.57]and which love once occupied.
[09:19.52]It's not just the kids
[09:21.02]who are suffering.
[09:22.26]It's the parents as well.
[09:24.52]For the more we cultivate little-adults
[09:26.63]in kids' bodies,
[09:27.96]the more removed
[09:29.49]we ourselves become
[09:31.03]from our own child-like qualities,
[09:34.10]and there is so much about being a child
[09:37.34]that is worth retaining
[09:38.19]in adult life.
[09:41.70]Love.
[09:43.34]Ladies and gentlemen,
[09:45.05]love is the human family's
[09:47.53]most precious legacy,
[09:49.88]its richest bequest,
[09:51.63]its golden inheritance.
[09:53.94]And it is a treasure
[09:55.41]that is handed down
[09:56.35]from one generation to the other.
[09:58.75]Previous ages may not have had
[10:01.21]the wealth we enjoy.
[10:03.11]Their houses may have lacked electricity,
[10:05.51]and they squeezed their many kids
[10:07.34]into small homes without central heating.
[10:10.20]But those homes had no darkness,
[10:12.21]nor were they cold.
[10:14.46]They were lit bright
[10:15.97]with the glow of love
[10:17.79]and they were warmed snugly
[10:19.22]by the very heat of the human heart.
[10:21.47]Parents,
[10:22.34]undistracted by the lust
[10:24.16]for luxury and status,
[10:25.90]accorded their children primacy
[10:27.78] in their lives.
[10:29.44]As you all know,
[10:32.01]our two countries
[10:34.87]broke from each other
[10:35.96]over what Thomas Jefferson referred to as
[10:37.93]"certain inalienable rights".
[10:41.49]While we Americans and British
[10:43.22]might dispute the justice of his claims,
[10:46.60]what has never been in dispute
[10:48.55]is that children have certain obvious rights,
[10:52.28]and the gradual erosion of those rights
[10:55.02]has led to scores of children worldwide
[10:58.49]being denied the joys
[11:00.16]and security of childhood.
[11:03.35]I would therefore like to propose tonight
[11:06.39]that we install in every home
[11:09.00]a Children's Universal Bill of Rights,
[11:12.80]the tenets of which are:
[11:14.63]The right to be loved
[11:18.97]without having to earn it.
[11:20.44]The right to be protected,
[11:22.97]without having to deserve it.
[11:26.35]The right to feel valuable,
[11:29.00]even if you came into the world with nothing.
[11:32.70]The right to be listened to
[11:34.60]without having to be interesting.
[11:38.20]The right to be read a bedtime story
[11:41.35]without having to compete
[11:43.40]with the evening news or Eastenders.
[11:51.93]The right to an education
[11:55.51]without having to dodge bullets at schools.
[11:59.40]The right to be thought of as adorable
[12:05.49]even if you have a face
[12:07.26]that only a mother could love.
[12:13.14]Friends
[12:14.72]the foundation of all human knowledge,
[12:16.68]the beginning of human consciousness,
[12:18.61]must be that each
[12:20.46]and every one of us is an object of love.
[12:23.47]Before you know
[12:24.42] if you have red hair or brown,
[12:28.39]before you know
[12:29.39]if you are black or white,
[12:30.90]before you know
[12:31.52]of what religion you are a part of,
[12:33.80]you have to know
[12:34.51]that you are loved.
[12:38.00]About twelve years ago,
[12:39.94]when I was just about
[12:41.01]to start my Bad tour,
[12:42.85]a little boy came with his parents
[12:45.09]to visit me at my California home.
[12:47.36]He was dying of cancer
[12:49.64]and he told me how much he loved
[12:51.30]me and my music.
[12:53.35]His parents told me
[12:54.82]that he wasn't going to live,
[12:56.96]that any day he could just go,
[12:59.24]and I said to him:
[13:01.07]"Look, I am going to be
[13:00.89]coming to your hometown in Kansas
[13:03.79]to start my tour in three months.
[13:06.77]I want you to come to the show.
[13:08.64]I am going to give you this jacket
[13:10.31]that I wore in one of my videos.
[13:12.66]His eyes lit up
[13:14.06]and he said,
[13:14.72]"You are gonna give me the jacket?"
[13:15.85]I said, "Yeah, I'm going to give you the jacket,
[13:17.82]but you have to promise me
[13:19.71]that you will wear it to the show."
[13:22.12]I was trying to make him hold on.
[13:24.65]I said, "When you come to the show
[13:26.62]I want to see you in this jacket
[13:28.49]and in this glove",
[13:29.81]and I gave him one of my rhinestone gloves,
[13:31.14]which I never give to anyone.
[13:34.43]And he was just in heaven.
[13:37.64]But maybe he was too close to heaven,
[13:40.23]because when I came to his town,
[13:41.90]he had already died,
[13:44.87]and they had buried him
[13:46.95]in the glove and jacket.
[13:50.50]He was just 10 years old.
[13:53.36]God knows,
[13:54.17]and I know,
[13:55.53]that he tried his best to hold on.
[14:02.48]But at least when he died,
[14:04.88]he knew that he was loved,
[14:06.30]not only by his parents,
[14:07.93]but even by me.
[14:09.09]As a near stranger,
[14:10.51]I also loved him.
[14:12.43]And with all of that love
[14:15.82]he knew that
[14:16.43]he didn't come into this world alone,
[14:18.60]and he certainly didn't leave it alone.
[14:21.58]If you enter this world
[14:23.18]knowing you are loved
[14:24.85]and you leave this world knowing the same,
[14:27.36]then everything that happens in between
[14:29.40]can he dealt with.
[14:32.32]A professor may degrade you,
[14:34.58]but you will not feel degraded;
[14:36.48]a boss may crush you,
[14:38.63]but you will not be crushed;
[14:40.33]a corporate gladiator might vanquish you,
[14:43.00]but you will still triumph.
[14:45.33]How could any of them truly prevail
[14:47.97]in pulling you down?
[14:49.96]For you know
[14:50.64]that you are an object worthy of love.
[14:53.85]The rest is just packaging.
[14:56.76]But if you don't have
[14:57.74]that memory of being loved,
[14:59.26]you are condemned
[15:00.66]to search the world for something
[15:02.00]to fill you up.
[15:03.49]But no matter how much money you make
[15:05.59]or how famous you become,
[15:07.51]you will still feel empty.
[15:09.57]What you are really searching for
[15:10.95]is unconditional love,
[15:14.11]unqualified acceptance.
[15:18.03]And that was the one thing
[15:19.29]that was denied to you at birth.
[15:22.20]Friends,
[15:23.08]let me paint a picture for you.
[15:27.61]Here is a typical day in America
[15:30.16]six youths
[15:31.07]under the age of 20
[15:32.89]will commit suicide,
[15:35.25]12 children under the age of 20
[15:38.29]will die from firearms
[15:40.82]remember this is a DAY,
[15:42.44]not a year
[15:44.26]399 kids will be arrested for drug abuse
[15:48.60]1,352 babies
[15:51.20]will be born to teen mothers.
[15:53.72]This is happening in
[15:54.20]one of the richest,
[15:55.59]most developed countries
[15:56.75]in the history of the world.
[15:59.53]Yes, in my country
[16:01.29]there is an epidemic of violence
[16:03.45]that parallels no other industrialized nation.
[16:06.59]These are the ways young people
[16:09.04]in America express their hurt
[16:11.36]and their anger.
[16:13.28]But don't think
[16:14.37]that there is not the same pain
[16:15.59]and anguish among their counterparts
[16:17.83]in the United Kingdom.
[16:20.05]Studies in this country show
[16:22.30]that every single hour,
[16:24.36]three teenagers in the UK
[16:26.26]inflict harm upon themselves,
[16:28.73]often by cutting or burning themselves
[16:31.29]burning their bodies
[16:32.40]or taking an overdose.
[16:34.58]This is how they have chosen
[16:36.12]to cope with the pain of neglect
[16:38.06]and emotional agony.
[16:40.11]In Britain,
[16:41.24]as many as 20% of families
[16:43.72]will only sit down
[16:45.29]and have dinner together once a year.
[16:46.96]Once a year!
[16:50.24]And what about the time-honored tradition
[16:52.37]of reading your kid a bedtime story?
[16:55.64]Research from the 1980s showed
[16:57.64]that children who are read to,
[16:59.51]had far greater literacy and significantly
[17:01.18]outperformed their peers at school.
[17:04.94]And yet, less than 33% of British children
[17:08.41]ages two to eight
[17:10.32]have a regular bedtime story read to them.
[17:14.57]You may not think much of that
[17:16.04]until you take into account
[17:17.77]that 75% of their parents
[17:21.27]DID have that bedtime story
[17:24.05]when they were that age.
[17:28.27]Clearly, we do not have to ask ourselves
[17:31.58]where all of this pain,
[17:32.64]anger andviolent behavior
[17:35.50]comes from.
[17:36.70]It is self-evident
[17:37.31]that children are thundering
[17:38.79]against the neglect,
[17:39.64]quaking against the indifference
[17:41.69]and crying out
[17:42.87]just to be noticed.
[17:45.11]The various child protection agencies
[17:47.54]in the US say that
[17:49.11]millions of children
[17:50.42]are victims of maltreatment
[17:52.69]in the form of neglect,
[17:54.68]in the average year.
[17:56.44]Yes, neglect.
[17:58.47]In rich homes,
[17:59.94]privileged homes,
[18:01.53]wired to the hilt
[18:02.96]with every electronic gadget.
[18:04.78]Homes where parents come home,
[18:06.50]but they're not really home,
[18:08.31]because their heads
[18:08.91]are still at the office.
[18:11.28]And their kids?
[18:13.07]Well, their kids
[18:14.46]just make do
[18:15.18]with whatever emotional
[18:16.58]crumbs they get.
[18:17.99]And you don't get much from endless TV,
[18:22.42]computer games and videos.
[18:23.84]These hard,
[18:24.77]cold numbers
[18:25.55]which for me,
[18:26.36]wrench the soul
[18:27.34]and shake the spirit,
[18:29.01]should indicate to you
[18:30.77]why I have devoted so much
[18:34.01]of my time and resources
[18:35.34]into making our new
[18:37.09]Heal the Kids initiative
[18:39.52]a colossal success.
[18:43.29]Our goal is simple
[18:45.17]to recreate the parent-child bond,
[18:49.88]to renew its promise
[18:51.81]and light the way forward
[18:53.23]for all the beautiful children
[18:55.17]who are destined one day
[18:56.71]to walk this earth.
[18:58.78]But since this is my first public lecture,
[19:01.28]and you have so warmly welcomed me
[19:03.47]into your hearts,
[19:04.65]I feel that I want to tell you more.
[19:07.43]We each have our own story,
[19:09.78]and in that sense statistics
[19:12.69]can become personal.
[19:17.04]They say that parenting
[19:18.31]is like dancing.
[19:19.37]You take one step,
[19:20.51]your child takes another.
[19:22.53]I have discovered
[19:23.36]that getting parents
[19:24.95]to re-dedicate themselves
[19:26.18]to their children
[19:27.26]is only half the story.
[19:29.18]The other half is
[19:30.40]preparing the children
[19:31.24]to re-accept their parents.
[19:33.97]When I was very young
[19:35.78]I remember that we had this crazy mutt
[19:38.17]I remember we had this crazy dog,
[19:39.84]it was a mutt dog
[19:40.90]named "Black Girl,"
[19:42.94]she was a mix of wolf and retriever.
[19:45.87]Not only wasn't she much of a guard dog,
[19:48.28]she was such a scared
[19:49.44]and nervous thing
[19:50.30]that it is a wonder she did not pass out
[19:52.34]every time a truck rumbled by,
[19:54.63]or a thunderstorm swept through Indiana.
[19:58.14]My sister Janet and I
[19:59.98]gave that dog so much love,
[20:02.53]but we never really won back
[20:03.76]the sense of trust
[20:05.34]that had been stolen
[20:06.47]by her previous owner.
[20:08.67]We knew he used to beat her.
[20:11.10]We didn't know with what.
[20:13.04]But whatever it was,
[20:14.82]it was enough to suck the spirit
[20:16.51]right out of that dog.
[20:18.83]A lot of kids today
[20:20.17]are hurt puppies
[20:22.89]who have weaned themselves
[20:24.28]off the need for love.
[20:27.18]They couldn't care less
[20:28.69]about their parents.
[20:30.08]Left to their own devices,
[20:31.70]they cherish their independence.
[20:34.05]They have moved on their life
[20:35.68]and have left their parents behind.
[20:38.05]Then there are the far worse cases
[20:40.74]of children who harbor animosity
[20:43.07]and resentment
[20:44.23]toward their parents,
[20:45.70]so that any overture
[20:47.27]that their parents might undertake
[20:49.06]would be thrown forcefully
[20:50.88]back in their face.
[20:52.05]Tonight,
[20:52.93]I don't want any of us
[20:54.52]to make this mistake.
[20:56.07]That's why I'm calling upon
[20:57.54]all the world's children
[20:59.80]beginning with all of us here tonight
[21:03.13]to forgive our parents,
[21:05.56]if we felt neglected,
[21:07.12]FORGIVE.
[21:08.30]Forgive them
[21:09.15]and teach them
[21:10.04]how to love again.
[21:13.45]You probably weren't surprised
[21:14.78]to hear
[21:15.64]that I did not have an idyllic childhood.
[21:18.39]The strain and tension
[21:20.28]that exists in my relationship
[21:21.65]with my own father
[21:23.37]is well documented.
[21:25.61]My father is a tough man
[21:28.12]and he pushed my brothers
[21:29.58]and me hard,
[21:30.61]really hard
[21:31.59]from the earliest age,
[21:32.96]for the best
[21:34.13]he wanted us to be the best performers
[21:36.42]we could possibly be.
[21:38.50]He had great difficulty showing affection.
[21:41.89]He never really told me he loved me.
[21:44.31]And he never really complimented me either.
[21:46.89]If I did a great show,
[21:48.61]he would tell me it was a good show.
[21:50.93]And if I did an OK show,
[21:58.49]he would say nothing.
[22:04.51]He seemed intent,
[22:06.35]above all else,
[22:08.35]I need a tissue, I'm sorry
[22:12.39]He seemed intent
[22:28.12]excuse me
[22:33.05]He seemed intent,
[22:36.39]above all else,
[22:38.41]on making us a commercial success.
[22:41.70]At that he was more than adept.
[22:44.98]My father was a managerial genius
[22:47.97]and my brothers and I
[22:50.10]owe our professional success,
[22:52.12]in no small measure,
[22:53.65]to the forceful way
[22:54.77]that he pushed us.
[22:56.76]He trained me as a showman
[22:58.64]and under his guidance
[22:59.86]I couldn't miss a step.
[23:02.56]But what I really wanted was a Dad.
[23:05.20]I wanted a father
[23:07.08]who showed me love.
[23:09.01]And my father never did that.
[23:11.43]He never said I love you
[23:12.85]while looking me straight in the eye.
[23:14.97]He never played a game with me.
[23:16.94]He never gave me a piggyback ride,
[23:19.26]he never threw a pillow at me,
[23:21.52]or a water balloon.
[23:23.74]But I remember
[23:25.16]once when I was about four years old,
[23:28.00]there was a little carnival
[23:29.67]and he picked me up
[23:31.95]and put me on a pony.
[23:33.72]It was a tiny gesture,
[23:36.40]probably something
[23:37.06]he forgot five minutes later.
[23:39.25]But because of that one moment
[23:42.11]I have this special place
[23:43.74]in my heart for him.
[23:45.36]Because that's how kids are,
[23:47.29]the little things mean so much.
[23:53.17]They mean so much.
[23:56.11]For me, that one moment
[23:57.32]meant everything.
[23:58.90]I only experienced it one time,
[24:01.18]but that one time made me
[24:02.75]feel really good,
[24:04.27]about him
[24:05.49]and about the world.
[24:08.16]But now I am a father myself,
[24:14.33]and one day
[24:16.54]I was thinking about my own children,
[24:18.71]Prince and Paris
[24:21.14]and how I wanted them to think of me
[24:23.01]when they grow up.
[24:24.30]To be sure,
[24:25.62]I would like them to remember
[24:26.91]how I always wanted them with me
[24:29.45]wherever I went,
[24:31.08]how I always tried to put them
[24:32.39]before everything else.
[24:34.46]But there are also challenges
[24:35.99]in their lives.
[24:36.86]Because my kids
[24:37.67]are stalked by paparazzi ,
[24:39.95]they can't always go to a park
[24:41.77]or to a movie with me.
[24:44.19]So what if they resent me
[24:47.20]when they grow older,
[24:48.70]and what if they resent
[24:49.62]how my choices impacted their youth?
[24:51.80]Why weren't we given an average childhood
[24:55.24]like all the other kids,
[24:56.35]they might ask?
[24:57.66]And at that moment
[24:58.67]I pray that my children
[24:59.94]will give me the benefit of the doubt.
[25:01.92]That they will say to themselves:
[25:03.89]Our daddy did the best he could,
[25:06.77]given the unique circumstances
[25:08.55]that he faced.
[25:10.53]He may not have been perfect,
[25:12.35]but he was a warm and decent man,
[25:14.66]who tried to give us
[25:15.29]all the love in the world.
[25:17.51]I hope that they will always focus
[25:18.98]on the positive things,
[25:20.56]on the saCRIfices
[25:22.17]I willingly made for them,
[25:23.95]and not CRIticise the things
[25:25.51]they had to give up,
[25:27.23]or the errors I've made,
[25:28.84]and will certainly continue to make,
[25:30.79]in raising them.
[25:32.35]For we have all been someone's child,
[25:34.58]and we know that
[25:36.05]despite the very best of plans and efforts,
[25:37.94]mistakes will always occur.
[25:40.03]That's just being human.
[25:41.74]And when I think about this,
[25:43.17]of how I hope that my children
[25:45.60]will not judge me unkindly,
[25:47.93]and will forgive me,
[25:49.19]forgive my shortcomings,
[25:51.07]I am forced to think of my own father
[25:53.51]and despite my earlier denials,
[25:55.94]I am forced to admit
[25:58.92]that he must have loved me.
[26:01.70]He did love me,
[26:04.28]and I know that.
[26:06.25]There were little things
[26:07.52]that showed it.
[26:08.93]When I was a kid
[26:10.36]I had a real sweet tooth
[26:13.38]we all did.
[26:15.61]My father
[26:21.04]he did try.
[26:23.77]But my favorite food
[26:26.09]to satisfy my sweet tooth
[26:27.92]was glazed doughnuts
[26:31.79]and my father knew that.
[26:33.35]So every few weeks
[26:34.57]I would come downstairs in the morning
[26:36.35]and there on the kitchen counter
[26:37.93]was a bag of glazed doughnuts
[26:39.81]no note, no explanation
[26:41.84]just the doughnuts.
[26:43.71]It was like Santa Claus.
[26:45.32]Sometimes I would think
[26:46.69]about staying up late at night,
[26:48.52]so I could see him leave them there,
[26:50.34]but just like with Santa Claus,
[26:52.48]I didn't want to ruin the magic
[26:54.82]for fear that he would never do it again.
[26:58.11]My father had to leave them secretly
[27:00.13]at night,
[27:01.47]so as no one might catch him
[27:03.30]with his guard down.
[27:04.91]He was scared of human emotion,
[27:06.93]he didn't understand it
[27:09.11]or know how to deal with it.
[27:10.83]But he did know doughnuts.
[27:16.91]And when I allow the floodgates
[27:17.86]to open up,
[27:19.14]there are other memories
[27:20.56]that come rushing back,
[27:22.12]memories of other tiny gestures,
[27:24.04]however imperfect,
[27:28.25]what he could.
[27:29.51]So tonight,
[27:30.42]rather than focusing on
[27:31.45]what my father did not do,
[27:32.25]I want to focus on
[27:33.22]all the things he did do
[27:34.55]and on his own personal challenges.
[27:36.62]I want to stop judging him.
[27:38.29]I have started reflecting on the fact
[27:41.37]that my father grew up in the South,
[27:46.24]in a very poor family.
[27:47.90]He came of age
[27:48.81]during the Depression
[27:50.22]and his own father,
[27:51.33]who struggled to feed his children,
[27:53.16]showed little affection
[27:54.58]towards his family
[27:56.10]and raised him.
[27:57.47]He raised my father
[27:59.62]and his siblings with an iron fist.
[28:02.81]Who could have imagined
[28:03.99]what it was like to grow up
[28:05.15]a poor black man in the South,
[28:07.39]robbed of dignity,
[28:08.86]bereft of hope,
[28:10.90]struggling to become a man
[28:12.27]in a world that saw my father
[28:14.19]as subordinate.
[28:16.06]I was the first black artist
[28:20.36]to be played on MTV
[28:23.55]and I remember how big a deal it was
[28:25.56]even then.
[28:26.84]And that was in the 1980s!
[28:31.34]My father moved to Indiana
[28:33.26]and had a large family of his own,
[28:35.59]working long hours
[28:36.61]in the steel mills,
[28:37.77]work that kills the lungs
[28:39.29]and humbles the spirit,
[28:41.13]all to support his family.
[28:44.72]Is it any wonder
[28:46.04]that he found it difficult
[28:47.22]to expose his feelings?
[28:49.09]Is it any mystery
[28:50.36]that he hardened his heart,
[28:52.20]that he raised the emotional ramparts?
[28:55.28]And most of all,
[28:56.97]is it any wonder
[28:58.28]why he pushed his sons
[28:59.69]so hard to succeed as performers
[29:03.03]so that they could be saved
[29:04.26]from what he knew
[29:05.57]to be a life of indignity and poverty
[29:10.57]I have begun to see
[29:11.63]that even my father's harshness
[29:13.36]was a kind of love,
[29:15.33]an imperfect love,
[29:16.49]to be sure,
[29:17.60]but love nonetheless.
[29:19.39]He pushed me because he loved me.
[29:24.24]Because he wanted no man
[29:26.33]ever to look down at his offspring.
[29:29.51]And now
[29:30.38]with time,
[29:31.04]rather than bitterness,
[29:32.45]I feel blessing.
[29:34.73]In the place of anger,
[29:36.27]I have found absolution.
[29:38.14]And in the place of revenge
[29:39.61] I have found reconciliation.
[29:41.73]And my initial fury
[29:43.86]has slowly given way to forgiveness.
[29:45.99]Almost a decade ago,
[29:47.75]I founded a children's charity
[29:49.77]called Heal the World.
[29:51.66]The title was something
[29:52.79]I felt inside me.
[29:54.51]Little did I know,
[29:55.53]as Shmuley later pointed out,
[29:57.10]that those two words
[29:58.56]form the cornerstone
[30:00.13]of Old Testament prophecy.
[30:02.45]Do I really believe
[30:03.57]that we can heal this world,
[30:05.31]that is riddled with war and genocide,
[30:08.29]even today?
[30:11.02]And do I really think
[30:12.49]that we can heal our children,
[30:13.95]the same children
[30:14.87]who as the papers reported
[30:16.24]this morning,
[30:18.11]can walk into a high school
[30:20.85]in San Diego
[30:22.16]and shoot down two beautiful students,
[30:25.04]just at the beginning of their lives?
[30:29.18]A horrifying reminder of the guns
[30:31.61]and hatred that shot
[30:33.08]through Columbine
[30:34.40]almost two years ago.
[30:36.94]Or children can beat
[30:39.78]a defenseless toddler to death,
[30:41.61]like the tragic story
[30:44.25]of Jamie Bulger?
[30:46.57]Of course I do.
[30:48.09]Of course I do,
[30:50.01]or I wouldn't be here tonight.
[30:52.09]But it all begins with forgiveness,
[30:54.83]because to heal the world,
[30:56.05]we first have to heal ourselves.
[30:58.93]And to heal the kids,
[31:00.30]we first have to heal the child within,
[31:03.13]each and every one of us.
[31:05.40]As an adult,
[31:07.58]and as a parent,
[31:08.90]I realize that I cannot be
[31:10.37]a whole human being,
[31:12.03]nor a parent capable
[31:13.46]of unconditional love,
[31:14.83]until I put to rest the
[31:17.91]ghosts of my own childhood.
[31:21.05]And that's what I'm asking all of us
[31:23.83]to do tonight.
[31:24.79]Live up to the fifth of the Ten Commandments,
[31:27.47]Honor your parents by not judging them.
[31:30.57]Give them the benefit of the doubt.
[31:33.45]That is why I want to
[31:35.47]forgive my father
[31:36.78]and to stop judging him.
[31:38.37]I want to forgive my father,
[31:40.09]because I want a father,
[31:42.77]and this is the only one that I've got.
[31:46.41]I want the weight of my past
[31:48.07]lifted from my shoulders
[31:49.85]and I want to be free
[31:51.61]to step into a new relationship
[31:53.15]with my father,
[31:54.42]for the rest of my life,
[31:56.25]unhindered by the goblins of the past.
[31:59.59]In a world filled with hate,
[32:01.86]we must still dare to hope.
[32:04.85]Keep hope alive.
[32:06.83]In a world filled with anger,
[32:08.71]we must still dare to comfort.
[32:12.46]In a world filled with despair,
[32:14.48]we must still dare to dream.
[32:17.11]And in a world filled with distrust,
[32:19.13]we must still dare to believe.
[32:22.57]To all of you tonight
[32:24.33]who feel let down by your parents,
[32:26.72]I ask you to let down your disappointment.
[32:31.37]To all of you tonight
[32:33.10]who feel cheated
[32:34.57]by your fathers or mothers,
[32:36.79]I ask you not to cheat yourself further.
[32:40.18]And to all of you
[32:41.39]who wish to push your parents away,
[32:43.20]I ask you to extend your hand
[32:45.23]to them instead.
[32:47.91]I am asking you,
[32:49.63]I am asking myself,
[32:51.45]to give our parents
[32:54.28]the gift of unconditional love,
[32:55.43]so that they too may learn
[32:57.24]how to love from us,
[32:59.02]their children.
[33:00.63]So that love will finally
[33:02.00]be restored to a desolate
[33:03.87]and lonely world.
[33:07.35]Shmuley once mentioned
[33:09.12]to me an ancient Biblical prophecy
[33:12.86]which says
[33:13.98]that a new world
[33:15.56]and a new time would come,
[33:17.32]when "the hearts of the parents
[33:18.81]would be restored
[33:20.01]through the hearts
[33:20.93]of their children".
[33:22.45]My friends,
[33:23.81]we are that world,
[33:26.40]we are those children.
[33:29.33]Mahatma Gandhi said,
[33:32.01]The weak can never forgive.
[33:35.20]Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
[33:39.24]Tonight, be strong.
[33:41.05]Beyond being strong,
[33:42.98]rise to the greatest challenge of all
[33:44.55]to restore that broken covenant.
[33:47.98]We must all overcome
[33:49.51]whatever crippling effects
[33:51.02]our childhoods may
[33:52.15]have had on our lives
[33:53.66]and in the words of Jesse Jackson,
[33:55.49]forgive each other,
[33:57.16]redeem each other
[33:58.72]and move on.
[34:01.63]This call for forgiveness
[34:03.75]may not result in Oprah moments
[34:06.53]the world over,
[34:07.69]with thousands of children
[34:08.75]making up with their parents,
[34:10.53]but it will at least be a start,
[34:13.77]We'll all be so much happier
[34:15.54]as a result.
[34:17.11]And so ladies and gentlemen,
[34:19.43]I conclude my remarks tonight
[34:21.30]with faith,
[34:23.59]with joy
[34:25.21]and excitement.
[34:27.48]From this day forward,
[34:29.41]let a new song be heard.
[34:31.74]Let that new song
[34:32.35]be the sound of children laughing.
[34:35.45]Let that new song be the sound
[34:37.12]of children playing.
[34:39.24]Let that new song
[34:40.45]be the sound of children singing.
[34:43.13]And let that new song
[34:45.46]be the sound of parents listening.
