英文
Things My Mother Taught Me
Anonymous
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me religion:
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about time travel:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me logic:
"Because I said so, that's why!"
My mother taught me foresight:
"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about contortion:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about stamina:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about weather:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about envy:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
参考译文
妈妈的教诲
佚名
妈妈教我要珍惜别人的工作成果：
"如果你们要互相掐架，就到外面掐去。我刚收拾完毕!"
妈妈教给我宗教信仰：
"你最好祈祷那个东西能从地毯下冒出来。"
妈妈教给我什么是时间旅行：
"如果你不改正，我就把你撞到下周三去!"
妈妈教给我逻辑学：
"因为我这么说过，这就是原因!"
妈妈教我要有远见：
"一定要穿干净的内衣，以防有意外发生。"
妈妈教我柔软杂技：
"自己看看你脖颈后面的灰垢!"
妈妈教我什么是耐力：
"在那儿坐着，直到听完这些胡说八道。"
妈妈教我什么是天气：
"看起来好像龙卷风横扫过你的房间。"
妈妈教我如何解决物理学问题：
"要是我大声叫喊，是因为我看到流星冲你而来，你会信吗?"
妈妈教给我什么是嫉妒：
"世界上有数百万更为不幸的孩子，他们可不像你一样有这么好的父母。"
